Encounters In Kenya and America

Ministry in Chicago and Crafting with Friends

2012-02-13T20:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a relaxing afternoon of making some Valentine's crafts. My friends and I are obsessed with Pinterest (what girl isn't?), so most of our inspiration came from that site. My basement became filled with lots of people and lots of paper hearts.

On Saturday I went with some friends to help with a homeless ministry in Chicago. Basically a group of people, mostly college students get together every Saturday evening to walk the streets of downtown Chicago. They bring sandwiches to people living on the streets. Once we arrived we split into small groups. Micah, Kelsey, and I walked along State Street. There was another group passing out food in a nearby location, so we didn't meet that many people, although we did find a few. Micah had the idea of bringing hot chocolate along to offer to people since it was so cold. So there we were...three people and three thermoses full of hot chocolate. We got a lot of stares from other shoppers who were wondering just why we were walking along with thermoses (that were very 70's looking by the way). The first guy we met seemed like he was okay with talking to us at first. After we introduced ourselves he asked us about our jobs and lives. We gave him hot chocolate and then Micah asked if he'd like us to pray with him. Now I must say we were never very pushy about praying with people. The idea was to be kind and get to know these people week after week to eventually build up a relationship with them. Micah has already done this with several people. Unfortunately the man was really not happy when Micah started asking about prayer. He kept saying, "I pray with my life." And he got really angry even though none of us was arguing about anything. Then he told us it was the worst hot chocolate he'd ever tasted and threw it all over the sidewalk. I wasn't offended by this. After all, I'm sure this man has been through a lot, and I'd probably be very bitter about living on the streets. But I feel sad that we probably made his day worse.

Our other encounters with people were much more positive. People were pretty friendly and happy to speak with us. One man smiled a lot and was extremely positive. He was a great encouragement to me and reminded me about having a positive attitude no matter what we're going through. He said that it wasn't really that cold out compared to what it could be.

I, on the other hand, thought it was extremely cold. My hands started getting cold in the first 30 minutes of walking. I wasn't that worried until they started going numb a while later and then I started experiencing stabbing pain in my hands. I have really poor circulation, and even wearing gloves was not helping. At that point I pretty much couldn't think anymore because I was so focused on my hands and how much pain they were in. It was nearly time to meet back up with the whole group for a Bible study, and so I just kept walking straight to the meeting point (which was inside), ignoring everything else around me. All I could think about was getting inside. Here I was, unable to make it 2 hours in the cold, and yet these people we met were sleeping on the streets overnight. I know that I would never be able to make it, and therefore I am humbled at how difficult life must be for them.

The Bible study consisted of all the volunteers plus about 5-7 homeless men. The message was about building a caring community and support system amongst each other. I won't disclose the location where we met, but it was in a public place, and I'm quite impressed that no one minds all those people meeting there with thermoses and left over sandwiches and bags of clothes, etc. It truly is a blessing to all get to come together in a warm place.

Let us be thankful tonight if we have warm houses to sleep in. God is good my friends.

Here are the crafting pics:

Meat or Fruit?

2012-02-09T19:19:00.000-08:00

It's never a good sign when your dessert dish looks like fried chicken. I didn't think fried food could be messed up so easily. Let me explain. Today I ventured into trying to cook fried mango fritters, which are suppposedly from Tanzania according to the cookbook. However, Kenyans, who don't live all that far from Tanzania, have never heard of this. I think someone made it up. That should have been my first warning sign. Anyway, I retract my previous statement that all the recipes in the book are easy, especially now that I've been glancing through the Asian section. I think I'm going to have to call for back up assistance with those dishes because they have lots of ingredients and require yeast...something that gives me trouble. I tried making homemade bread a few weeks ago, and it would never rise correctly. it was the most dense loaf of bread ever. I told Aquila she wasn't allowed to offer it to any of our guests.

The mango recipe should have been easy though. It's just breaded fruit. How hard can it be? I think something's wrong with the recipe because the batter was sticky and goupy. I even tried it twice with no improvement. It was all I could do to get a little breading to stick to the mango. And after I fried them it looked like a plate of chicken fingers staring back at me. I was ready to get out the honey mustard sauce.

The other significant problem is that I think it's nearly impossible to find a quality mango in this country. They don't exist (except for one or two rare times I've bought them). Mostly I've completely given up on trying to buy them. There's something wrong when the fruit is soft and "ripe" and yet still green colored. I didn't like mangoes at all until I went to Kenya, and that's because all the ones I had here were never ripe. I actually initially thought they were kind of sour. Isn't sad that in America I think the frozen mangoes taste better than fresh ones? The ones I bought today I had to completely dissect to cut out some strange brown marks in the middle. I thought it was rotten, but it didn't taste like it.

The verdict: just eat a regular mango....in Kenya or another country that grows them. And seriously, don't fry them.

A Nicaraguan Treat

2012-02-07T19:52:00.000-08:00

So my street food cookbook has become popular, and now my roommate Aquila is into the idea of helping make some of the dishes. I'm rather grateful because that means we get to eat twice as much great food. Seriously, if you came into our house on any given night of the week, you'd think you weren't in America or that at least one of us was from another country. I can't remember the last American thing I've cooked. Wait, that's not totally true because on Sunday I made Skyline dip (a Cincinnati tradition) for a Super Bowl party. Although I'd hardly count that as cooking because all you do is open cans and boxes and throw everything together. I'm not really into that box kind of "cooking," but sometimes you need small reminders of home.

Anyway, Aquila made this Nicaraguan dish called Gallo Pinto. We're all about improvising in this house, so she used chick peas instead of pinto beans. But the results were still great. It's mainly a rice dish with cilantro, chili powder, and garlic topped with tomatoes and sour cream. I'm sold on the idea. And it's easy, which is even better. That seems to be the trend with this book that things only take a few ingredients and a few steps.

I have an entire grocery list ready with ingredients just for recipes in this book. I think I would be cooking something everyday if only I had a stocked refrigerator!

Mandazi Pics

2012-02-02T18:52:00.000-08:00

Here are the pictures from my mandazi making.

Mandazi!!

2012-02-01T19:58:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how a little cooking can be so completely relaxing for me (thank you Jesus that cooking is enjoyable to me!). It has been a bit of a hectic day...one can always tell the state of my life by examining my purse. When everything is organized and in it's place, one can assume that I'm balancing my time quite well and feeling good. And then there's days like today, when the state of my purse goes beyond even Mary Poppins' carpet bag. My friend Kelsey was trying to help me find my camera in my purse, but she became overwhelmed by the amount of stuff she was looking through. She pulled out a few items before politely suggesting that maybe I should wash the flour off my hands and attempt to dig through everything to find it. I literally dumped everything out and looked multiple times before retrieving it. But I am now totally calm and at peace after my adventure preparing recipe #2 from the street food extravaganza book. I chose to make mandazi, which is a familiar favorite from Kenya. I first learned about mandazi back in 2008 from my friend Lyonne, who would prepare batches of it at the house where I was staying in Nairobi. While I learned the Lyonne version, I never mastered the actual street vendor mandazi taste because the recipes were slightly different. Clearly I've spent 4 years completely missing out on the true mandazi experience--until now.

Mandazi is basically just fried dough: flour, sugar, baking powder, and a few spices, mixed together, rolled out and cut into triangles. Then you fry them up in good old oil, and WaLa... you have mandazi. It's less sweet than our sugary American donuts and funnel cakes but good just the same for it's simplicity. There's no extra icing or powdered sugar involved. One time I made the Lyonne version for my church during a presentation I gave about Kenya. Much to my dismay, my mom insisted on dumping cinnamon and sugar all over the top of them to give them more taste. Meanwhile I nearly had a meltdown as I complained that she was ruining their authenticness. (By the way I love my mom dearly, and I'm basically a hypocrite because I've come to love smearing jam all over my chapati...not exactly the way Kenyans eat them!).

The whole endeavor was short and sweet. I got all excited and started jumping up and down as the mandazi fried in the pan. They turned out pretty much like the real thing, I think. The only slight difference is that we're on a bit of a health kick at our house, so we're using white whole wheat flour these days (I figure Kenyans are practical and use what they have, so I cannot bother myself with making a trip to the store for white flour). So they were very brown looking mandazi but nice and fluffy and delicious all the same. It takes me right back to those Sunday mornings last summer when Rachel and I would leave our apartment early in the morning to spend time doing devotions with the boys from the juvenile. We never made time for breakfast at home, so we'd grab some mandazi from the street vendor near Kibera before jumping on the bus. I can perfectly picture the lady cooking the mandazi, flipping each one as the oil sizzled. Ahhh, yes...

I will post pictures of my mandazi goodness soon because at the present moment I have left my camera cord in the computer at work--typical. So in the meantime, perhaps I should go clean out my purse!

The World of Street Food

2012-01-29T19:49:00.000-08:00

I realized recently that I haven't blogged in months, and I rather miss it. It's become a habit for me to blog when I'm in other countries. But then I come home, get back into somewhat of a routine, and unconsciously start to think that my life isn't interesting enough to write about anymore. I can tell I'm really out of practice with blogging because I have now deleted and retyped the last 3 sentences multiple times, almost as though I'm self conscious about what I'm going to say. I would never do that in Kenya. The words just seem to flow off of my hands there, and I can't type fast enough--literally: I never know when the power might go off, so I really have to type fast. Anyway, I've been reading the book Julie and Julia for my book club group this month, and it has created all sorts of inspiration in my life. I'm not even sure how much I like the book, but I do like how it's reminding me of things that I love in my life. The book is all about how Julie Powell blogs about her year of cooking through Julia Child's cookbook. Reading the book reminded me of how much I missed blogging. And then I was at a fair trade store the other day, and I felt drawn to this cookbook I've been looking at for months. It's called The World of Street Food and is full of global recipes from every continent. I recognized several of the dishes, including two from Kenya, and one from China. Nearly everytime I'm at the fair trade store I want to buy it, but I feel guilty purchasing something for myself. But this time between the Julie/Julia book and me missing being able to eat as much street food as I want, it seemed necessary. Besides, my roommate and I are on this cooking new things (and not from a box) kick, and so it seemed to fit right in. And then I thought, hmmm....I should start trying some of these recipes and then blog about them. Ok, I know it totally sounds totally cheesy like I'm copying right from the Julie/Julia book, but really it's not that. I just feel this need to be adding some cultural experiences into my life and this happens to fit in. And I feel like I can justify buying the cookbook if I actually use it.

So on that note, I tried my first recipe from the cookbook. I basically just flipped through and found something easy that didn't require another trip to the grocery store (I am striving for some simplicity in my life). Thus, I selected the Kalawule (spicy fried bananas), which is a dish from Ghana. And can I just say that I hope all the recipes are this easy. Basically it's just pieces of bananas chopped up and coated in a chili powder/ginger/pepper mixture and then they're fried. I cheated with the oil because you are supposed to use palm or peanut oil. We had neither, so I used coconut oil...can one really be troubled over what kind of oil they are using? (I'm all about improvising). It only took about 5 minutes to make, and everyone at my house agreed it was delicious. i'm not one for overly spicy food, but this had the perfect amount of kick to it. I didn't even need a glass of water. I would make these again just because. My roommate even added the recipe to her recipe box, so I guess that's a sign that it's a must make again treat.

It felt really good to be making something African. I really miss chapati, samosa, and all that other Kenyan street food goodness. But I can say that we've been keeping the Kenyan spirit alive in my house. Chai is regularly cooked here several times a week and my Kenyan spices (Royco) are frequently thrown into dishes (which in turn prompts lots of teachers to ask me what I'm eating while I'm in the teacher's lounge at lunch). And my roommate insists that we must cook pilau soon. It is my hope to feel a little bit Kenyan always, even when I'm over here in America.

Stay tuned for more international cooking soon...I hope!

Ghana Airport

2011-08-14T08:11:00.000-07:00

So here I am in Ghana. This is like the longest day ever. We have an 11 hour layover here. We met another American guy here who is on the same connecting flight with us, and we're passing the time talking to him about his time in Kenya. Someone in the airport tried to make us pay money to get a transport visa when we arrived. I'm pretty sure that was just some shady deal he was attempting to make. He said we needed the visa because our time between our connecting flight was so long and that it cost $20. I said we don't have any money with us (which is true. I have like 50 shillings left and no American money). And after some talking back and forth he said he was willing to wave the fee for us. So we bypassed the customs line and walked out of the airport again to go back inside to departures. Again we definitely could have left the airport, but the problem is that they wouldn't check our luggage all the way. So we are sitting with 3 suitcases and 1 bag. Rachel is on luggage watching duty while I'm typing. No where in the whole airport accepts credit cards and so Rachel walked quite far to find an ATM to get some Ghanan money so that we could eat.

It has been an extremely hard day for me. I was crying hysterically all morning and at the airport. Edwin drove us there and Tall and Julius came with. They were all watching us through the windows waving to us as we waited in line for our tickets. I can't believe I am leaving all these people that I care about so much and that I have bonded with so well. Yes, there have been struggles at times and living with everyone was difficult. Us mzungus often got frustrated by the loud music which woke us up many times in the morning. But overall it has been such a good experience and I have learned so much.

Yesterday we went to juvenile for the last time to make chapati with the boys. Nearly everyone loves chapati here and for these boys it's a rare treat. They never have it at juvenile because it takes so long to make for that many people and isn't as cheap as other foods. This process went extremely smooth, much better than I expected. All the boys took turns mixing, rolling, and cooking. Overall there was minimal amount of pushing and fighting. And with so many hands we finished cooking in 2 hours. One boy told me he remembered doing this in 2008 when I was here. It is good to know that people remember. We had a small drama to deal with during the day because John, the street boy, stayed at our house on Friday. And Julius discovered in the morning that John had taken 3000 shillings from his wallet. So there was lots of discussion with him about what happened. It seems he misunderstood that Alex was only temporarily taking him to Kibera to stay for a few days before taking him home. I think John thought he was being left there. Of course that doesn't justify the stealing though.

We went out for Ethiopian food last night as a farewell dinner. And then we came back to the house for tea and people came over to pray for us. It was good to hear everyone recap about how they think the 2 months went and what we have learned from each other. Rachel and I tried to stay up most of the night so that we are very tired for the plane so that our bodies can adjust. We made it till about 3:30 a.m. and slept 2 hours before getting back up. We are decked out in our Kenyan garb, braided hair, and tire shoes. I think minus our skin color we could pass for Kenyans.

So Monday morning I will be home. I feel so conflicted and pulled in many directions. I know that school is about to begin in America and that I have a purpose there. But it is very hard to leave behind my life in Nairobi. The people that I've met are like my family. And the stories of the women and boys we've met really tug at my heart. I am so encouraged by the way people share the little that they have and the strong faith of people who have been through so much. I may be leaving Kenya, but I know that I will not forget what I have seen. This place is such a part of me and I pray that I will be changed for the better by what God has allowed me to experience. Thank you again for all your prayers. We have stayed fairly healthy for our whole trip and have yet to have anything stolen. We were kept safe at night when so many scary things happen in Nairobi. Truly God has protected us and we appreciate your prayers. Asante Sana. I hope to see some of you soon and share with you about my time here. Barikwa sana!

More Goodbyes

2011-08-12T07:48:00.000-07:00

As the week winds down, we are continuing to say bye to people. Yesterday was the small boys juvenile. Unfortunately we haven't really grown that close with those boys. They don't speak much English, so communication is difficult and we haven't spent as much time there as the other places. But all the same, we finished up our time there yesterday. Rachel, Alex, Tall, and Julius came back from Mombasa on Wednesday, so it has been nice having them around again. Today we enjoyed our last day with the street boys. We played all sorts of games with them. It becomes very apparent when doing this as to who is on a lot of drugs. We were playing that very simple hand clap game, Down By the Banks, and Kennedy could not grasp the simple comment of slapping the hand of the person next to him. Kennedy is probably at least 19 so this shouldn't be difficult but it really was for him. Fortunately I only saw one person actually using drugs today. And it happened at the end. It was an older man. He willingly gave me the bottle and rag he was using. I thought they were basically empty so I went to throw them up on the ledge where we always throw everything. But silly me didn't notice there were actually a lot of drugs in the container and it spilled all over my hair. I wouldn't normally even care that much except that my hair is braided and can't be washed. What to do??? I guess just spray lots of product all over it to cover up the smell :)

The boys had some nice things to say about how they enjoyed us being there and they never thought visitors like us would come see them and God bless us on our trip back home. The pastor also said that we've made him to have a backbone because he is better able to stand up to the boys and women and establish some ground rules. Rachel and I laughed about that. White people are known here for being open, honest, and speaking their minds. Yes, that probably fits us. At the end there were people from city council who came to meet with the boys. They told them all this stuff about how the constitution has rights for them and they can go to these free hospitals and they have a right to have a place to sleep, blah, blah, blah. They weren't telling them anything concrete, and it seemed like a bunch of hogwash to me. We asked Julius about it later and he said it was all talk--that nothing much would happen and that there is a government place where they take these boys but it's unacceptable. It's overcrowded; they aren't fed much; they have to wake up at 4 a.m. Many of the boys who go there just run away because the streets are actually a more appealing alternative. On a good note, we took another kid from the street today. He's currently at our house waiting for Alex. Alex is supposed to take him to live with his brother for the night and then take him home tomorrow. He was extremely excited on the bus ride home. He keeps trying to talk in this mzunugu voice, which just sounds really silly. He had a bad headache. I think maybe he is very dehydrated and hadn't eaten for a long time until we fed him lunch today. Also Francis showed up with the street boys today. That's the first time we've seen him in over a month. Rachel talked with him about where he's been and how we were disappointed that he ran away. She said he looked like he might cry. He looked to me like maybe he'd been using drugs too.

And then there's this issue of Peter. Rachel and I were just examining his leg before we came to the cyber. He has completely bled through the gauze on his leg. I fear that when they took the staples out that something bad happened. And I just wonder if there has been any improvement at all. We are going to get some new gauze on our way back to the house and have him rewrap it. I worry though that this issue really hasn't been solved at all after all the effort. Continue praying for him please.

We stopped by Julius' mom's house in Kibera and made tea for her. Their house is nice and tidy and she was so welcoming. I'm really going to miss hanging out and having tea with people. And Rachel and I were commenting yesterday about how we're going to miss street food. It's so yummy, convenient, and cheap! And I'm going to miss joking around on the matatus. Yesterday we pretended not to know Alex and let him strike up this conversation with us on the ride to juvenile. I think the guy next to Alex was really believing the whole thing and a little bit confused until I finally turned around and said, "We know him actually. He's our friend." And he just laughed.

Rachel and I discovered today that we think these little neighbor kids have been going through our stuff and eating our chocolate. It's really normal here for kids to just come into the house by themselves when your door is open. It's very wierd for Rachel and I and we usually kindly try to ask them to leave because they're just sort of walking all around the house. What we didn't realize is that they've been coming in while Peter is there by himself. Rachel was upset when she found her backpack and suitcase opened up. Nothing was missing, but it was a bit disorderly. I couldn't figure out why I keep having chocolate missing. We were hiding chocolate in our room to make s'mores and everyday a little bit more disappears. We're pretty sure the kids took it. I'm glad they didn't take any money or anything important. It's just wierd. And people share everything here, so food of ours often gets eaten. We don't mind so much except when it's something special we've gotten. There was a time we came home and a bag and a half of Ashley's marshmallows had disappeared (we found out some of our friends ate them). I think we're just very used to people asking before they help themselves and so that frustrates us a lot.

One more day here before we leave Sunday morning. We're going to juvenile to make chapati. And tonight I requested that we eat madondo (beans)...my favorite. Thanks so much for your prayers and support while I've been here. I appreciate knowing that you all care enough to read these long posts. Be prepared for lots of storytelling and picture showing when I get back on Monday.

Last Day With the Street Women

2011-08-10T08:18:00.000-07:00

So today was the last day with the street women. I didn't expect to get so emotional, but I definitely shed lots of tears. (Can't imagine what the next few days will be like). I was telling them about how the first time I came there, it was crazy. All the women were yelling, shouting, on drugs, complaining, etc. I complimented them on how far they'd come. Today they were sitting down nicely listening when we walked in. I'm so amazed by the small ways even that God is changing their lives. We brought cookies and juice for a small farewell party. We also carried thermoses of hot water so that we could wash the babies today. The moms helped us, which was really nice. And the kids seemed less upset by it. One little boy, James, just stood quietly in the water and didn't cry at all. Several of the kids have ringworm or some kind of worm on their skin, not to mention some crazy rashes. I think one boy had a severe case of diaper rash, or maybe something worse; I'm not sure. But I know that sitting in poopy pants all day cannot be good. The women had nice things to say to us. Mama Vincent gave me a necklace she made, and I gave her my shoes. They stink pretty badly, but I think with some cleaning they will last a long time and be much better than the cheap flip flops most people wear. Oh, and praise God...no one was doing drugs today.

In the morning we were in Kibera. I've stocked up on lots of things to sell...necklaces, earrings, woven basket bags, and some soap stone bowls. We had to do a little negotiating because a new lady came today and was trying to sell her necklaces for 100 shillings more than the other ladies. That's only a dollar, but still it's kind of a big deal. She tried to insist that the quality of her work was better, but I think they are equal. So we got her to agree to less and I think the other women were pleased that we appreciated their work and wanted to make it fair for all. Rachel and I took them a big bag of our clothes. We're leaving almost everything here except for a few pieces of clothing.

Monday I took Peter to the hospital, and he got a mostly good report. They said the skin graft took ok. It looked really gross to me though and not all that healed. But they took the staples out and said it was fine. I had to leave the room during this b/c for some reason I couldn't handle it that day. He goes back for a follow up in 2 weeks, which means someone else will be taking him. They said he can start getting it wet next week. But the part of the skin that was vacuumed together is still oozing really badly. I just wonder how it will be. And the doctors said he needs to have his bone looked at every few months in case the infection flares up. Please pray that he would heal and mend and that this isn't just a short term fix.

On the way home today, the lady on the bus next to us started freaking out yelling in Swahili. The person on the other side of me finally explained that she was upset b/c she claimed to have dropped some money and thought the person in front of her picked it up and took it. The woman in front of her was denying everything, and the yelling continued while everyone on the bus turned to stare.

When we walked through Kibera carrying our tea for the women this morning, everyone kept making comments like, "mzunugu, give me some tea." And I decided to have a little fun with the situation, so I started making comments like, "sure, chai 40 bob." It should be only 5 or 10 shillings a cup, so the people started laughing or acting surprised and it became this big joke. I said, "Special mzunugu price." (That's what they tell me at the market).

I got my hair plaited and braided yesterday, and it looks pretty sweet. I'm getting bad headaches from it being so tight, but it's worth it. Julius' sister, Alice, did it for me. And she took less than 4 hours, which is impressive. Last time I sat for 6 hours. Our Dutch friend, Shantal, had her hair braided on Monday and it was bothering her so much that she took it out the next morning. She even had to cut some of her hair b/c she couldn't get it out. She and her family left this morning, which was very sad. I hung out with them yesterday and it was hard because Shantal really wasn't ready to leave. She is praying that God allows a way for her family to come back. If her husband could get a job here there would be a possibility they would come back to stay here. We ordered pizza with them and there was a big mixup at the pizza place over the number of pizzas ordered. We ended up getting 10 instead of 6, so let's just say there was lots to go around. And ice cream too because they were cleaning out their freezer. I took the ice cream home and Peter and I had some before I took the rest over to our Eritrean neighbors. I had to get rid of it quickly because it was melting and we have no refrigerator or freezer. I stayed and had coffee with the neighbors. They are super nice and polite. But it's wierd too because the mom seems to think that I have some special power to help her because I am white. She is a refugee here and I'm not sure if she is going to be deported or if it's just difficult to get a job here. The family talked a lot about how they are discriminated against by Kenyans because they look differently. Her husband was drafted into fighting in Eritrea...apparently Eritrea and Ethiopia are fighting over the border, which I didn't know. And I think the husband was killed. So they fled and now she is stuck here. I'm not sure how she is able to support her 4 children. There are 2 other Eritreans in the building, and they all hang out together and consider each other to be family. They call each other sister and brother. That is what I like about Africa--this sense of family and of taking care of each other. We are after all part of God's family, right? So may we not see skin color or background or upbringing or socioeconomic status. That's my prayer today and that I would bring this value of family togetherness home with me.

Was My Kitchen On Fire?

2011-08-08T03:55:00.000-07:00

Because Peter and I can't clearly understand each other, often our conversations are like trying to solve a mystery. We work really hard to talk slow and motion with our hands and pull out the small English and Swahili phrases that we each know. And sometimes we are left staring at each other frustrated because we have no idea what the other one is talking about. Take yesterday, for instance. I went to juvenile with Popo for devotions. And of course, without exception, things were disorganized there. Some other random man had also come to do devotions. But no worries, Popo and I sat and listened and added some things at the end and sang some songs with them. I realize when I hear other people speaking to the boys, that not everyone is cut out to minister effectively to them. Alex and Popo have been blessed with being really hilarious and because of that they can easily get the boys' attention and get them to listen. When this other man was speaking every few minutes he would pause and say, "you, why aren't you listening? you, I'll kick you out. you, you're being disrespectful, etc." obviously you have to ignore some of this stuff or you'll never get anywhere. anyway, he mostly had them listening I just don't know if they were really letting anything sink in. And at one point he kept talking about how God wants to make you rich (and not in the spiritual sense). This is a common message that I hear a lot, even last time, and it really bothers me. I think God wants us to bless others and live in a way that we are able to share and help others, but maybe that's just me. Anyway, after this I went with Popo to the Salvation Army church in Kibera. There was no room inside so we were just standing outside until the pastor came and insisted that I couldn't sit outside. I really didn't want to go in b/c it appeared that Popo was getting left outside. But Popo made me come in, and I had to sit in the front of the church and Popo was given a seat on the stage, which made him feel really uncomfortable too. I had no idea what was going on because the entire service was in Swahili, so Popo kept texting me updating me on what was going on, "They're praying for the pastor b/c he's having surgery", etc. I know...texting in church...bad right? I would never let myself do that in the U.S.

Anyway, back to Peter. I came home and the house smelled like smoke. I asked what the smell was and he said he didn't know. I thought it might be coming from outside b/c people are always burning trash. And I had Peter start cutting vegetables to make lunch. Then a few minutes later I found a very burned towel in the trash. And I said, "Peter, did you catch something on fire?" After much struggle with communication I got the basic idea that he was cooking chips (french fries) and either the grease caused a fire on the towel or he accidentally got it caught in the flames. And to put it out he had thrown water everywhere. Everything was wet: the floor, the dishes, the flowers in the window from Popo's graduation. I wasn't mad about the fire. I mean let's face it: I do silly klutzy things like that all the time. But the fact that he lied to me about nothing happening was really irritating. I don't know if he thought I would be mad or what. I was also concerned about getting the floor dry because i fell down yesterday from it being so slippery and I don't want Peter to fall. I feel bad that he is in the house a lot by himself. I've been trying to work with him on his math and writing his letters, but I feel limited by what I can do because I don't speak Swahili. His English has improved though. Ashley talked with him on the phone last night, and she could tell a difference from when she left. Peter has a doctor's appointment this afternoon, so we'll see what happens.

i was with the street women this morning. everyone, (meaning Alex, Rachel, Tall, and Julius), is in Mombasa (not sure if I mentioned that), so I was there by myself. Popo had other things to do today. I arrived and there were 3 women for about 45 minutes. I talked with them as best I could. Mama Vincent arrived and that helped because her English is perfect. She hasn't done drugs for the entire week and she has moved into a house! She looked very clean and nice today. Praise God! The pastor never came, and I thought he wasn't going to show. So mama Vincent and I went to buy food. I never knew where they got the food from, but I learned today that it's a little nearby "slum" restaurant sort of. It's just this little tin structure down the road from the church. I thought maybe I could get food and eat with them too, but it was really really dirty...worse than most places I usually eat, so I decided maybe not. I got chapati though...somehow it seems cleaner to me b/c it's been fried and isn't sitting in a dirty dish. Probably isn't...just a mental thing. We went back to the church and of course now there were 7 more women and the pastor and all sorts of kids. They spent forever arguing about coming on time, etc. And the pastor just sort of lets them talk and discusses it with them. Finally I said, "um, are we still talking about coming on time?" (i wasn't sure b/c the conversation was in swahili) They were; and I said, we need to move on. you know the rules and the consequences and that's that. and finally they finished up this discussion and moved on to the Bible. Seriously, do we need to have this same conversation every time? Follow through, please! I watched the babies while they talked. And can i just say that watching 6 kids under the age of 3 is really hard to do by yourself. One girl peed her pants and it was all over the cement and she was playing in the puddle. Mugo, one of the babies, is super mean to the kids. His mom is never around. And everyone punishes him by hitting him, which in turn just makes him hit the other kids.

By the way, I should have been saying how thankful I have been because lately I've been taking lots of hot showers! I think because we've been having less people staying at the house that there's more hot water to go around. It doesn't stay hot super long, so you have to be snappy and turn it off while you're shampooing your hair, but it does get hot. The water situation is still iffy. Usually it's off during the day. But on Friday I came back and there was no water at all, and we hadn't stored up any extra as we normally try to. I barely had enough drinking water to brush my teeth, and there was absolutely no way I could wash my face. Popo got up early and nicely asked the landlady to fix the problem. She didn't have water either and so somehow she pumped water into the storage tank. The water tanks are on the top of the building in a large black container. But we store water in some kind of cistern underneath our apartments. there's an opening for the cistern right by the gate where you enter into our compound. So I don't know if she pumped it from there or what but it was quite glorious to wake up and be able to take a shower.

Lately people keep making comments about my nationality. Several people have asked if I'm from China or Japan...seriously people? One girl told me she thought so because my eyes were small. And then as I was walking the other day, someone said, "hello miss. where are you from? Egypt?" Rach and I are always trying to guess where other mzungus we see are from. We're usually able to narrow it down pretty easily based on what they're wearing or how they're talking. it's strange though b/c when white people see each other here, it's like we're uncomfortable or something because we never maintain eye contact. People look away instantly almost as if we don't want to acknowledge the fact that we stand out.

Peter is Home!

2011-08-04T00:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true--Peter finally got discharged from the hospital, and it seemed to happen almost effortlessly. Ok, maybe that's not true. I've spent days and days seeking information and asking when he can go home and begging people to inform me. I had planned to call and possibly visit the hospital yesterday afternoon b/c they were going to look at his leg in the morning. I expected to wait hours for a doctor to give me information. Instead, we were in Kibera yesterday with the women making beads. Alex came in a bit late and made a casual comment about how the hospital called and Peter was being discharged. And I'm like, Whoa....wait, what?? I then called and talked to the surgeon and she said that the skin graft looked good enough for him to recover at home. The catch was that I only had 2 hours to get to the hospital and sign paperwork or we would be charged for another day. Now 2 hours might seem like plenty of time, but it's really not when you have to get there using public transportation. Plus we were deep in Kibera and someone always has to walk me out b/c i'm completely lost in there. so off we trudged out of Kibera carrying 21 straw baskets that Emily, one of the ladies, made for us. Oh, and we also had 2 wash basins, 2 thermos of hot water (all for washing the babies in the afternoon), jam and butter from making tea for the ladies, and lots of other stuff. We looked ridiculous and Joyce, who's house we were at, couldn't understand why I was in such a hurry. I ended up going to the hospital by myself so that Alex and Rach could go meet with the street women. I got there in record time; it only took about 1 hour 15 minutes...hooray for no traffic. I signed some papers, went and picked up his medicine from the pharmacy, found out I'm getting a small amount of money back from the hospital, and that was it. I think it's the only day I've smiled while at Aga Khan. So at this point he was free to go, but I didn't want to take a taxi with him myself, so I had to wait 3 hours for Alex and Rachel to come. Peter was asleep, so i found some lunch and finally finished a book I've been trying to read the whole summer. Around 5:00 we finally left for home. Peter seems glad to go home, although I just don't think he was truly understanding how careful he has to be. We have been reiterating this over and over. Rach and I have insisted he can only get up to use the bathroom and that's about it. They didn't give him crutches or anything and we have no chairs in our house, or any furniture except a falling apart stool, so he is pretty much confined to the mattresses. We go back on Monday for a follow up with the plastic surgeon. Thank you so much for your prayers for Peter and continue praying for his recovery.

Also please be praying for Rachel and I as we prepare to come home in a week. We are both really struggling with not wanting to leave and we try not to talk about it too much. I don't really know how to merge these 2 lives of mine together. I know it will be difficult leaving everyone behind here, and I think it's going to be a hard transition for me. I pray that I may take the good things that I have learned from America and Kenya and that they may shape who I am wherever I am living.

Celebrity Encounter

2011-08-02T23:27:00.000-07:00

So I met, or rather saw, a famous Kenyan yesterday. I went to the doctor here (yes, I am very scared of health care matters here but decided to take the risk) because I've been having this pain in my stomach since before I left the U.S. After many tests at home, no one could figure anything out, so I thought I'd pay a visit to Dr. Saio, my favorite doctor here. He is the Italian doctor who specializes in tropical medicine and was the one who finally figured out what was wrong with me last time I was here. Funny enough they still had my file from 3 years ago, and he asked for a whole recap on how I'd been doing since then. He was telling stories of travelers who'd developed diseases here that no one could diagnose at home but he finally figured it out. And when you hear him tell these things you can just tell he knows what he's talking about. Anyway, I was in the lab having blood work done, and the same lab doctor was in there too. I said, hey I remember you. You're the one who told me last time that I didn't have malaria b/c if I'd had it this long I'd be dead. And he said, yeah I remember you. He was all frazzled and flustered though and proceeded to tell me it had been a crazy afternoon because people kept coming in without appointments. and i said, oh is that common? And he said, well we have these Olympic athletes in here. I asked for clarification and he explained that the woman I'd seen in the waiting room with the nice Nike shoes was Nancy Langat, the Kenyan runner who won a gold medal in Beijing. I'm sure that was a breach of confidentiality, although that maybe doesn't exist here, but in any case I thought it was pretty sweet. So again I definitely feel like I'm at the right doctor if they're treating Olympians there. And my whole appointment took only a little over an hour. I love Western time :)

Today we are off to see the women in Kibera and hopefully they've made some sweet artsy stuff for us. They are making necklaces, earrings, and bags. If anyone is interested in purchasing this stuff when I get home, let me know. They really do great work and the money goes back to supporting them. Not sure if I mentioned that we bought some things from them last week and they were so happy b/c many of them hadn't been able to feed their families for several days. We're also trying to bring hot water to wash the babies this afternoon and then off to the hospital for an update on Peter.

Have a great day everyone. God Bless.

Thoughts on Culture

2011-08-02T03:26:00.000-07:00

Today is our day off, although I'm not exactly sure that it feels like a day off and usually I stay pretty busy anyway. I slept as long as I could before going to lovely Aga Khan Hospital. I found Peter in a wheel chair trying to explore as much of the very small surgical ward as possible. He seems to be in less pain today although I'm not for sure b/c i was by myself and I don't know how well he understands me. I went to pay the hospital bill, which seems to be mounting everyday, although my mom reminded me it would be costing 10x this in the U.S. I still got no answer as to whether we would not have to pay for the extra time he's been in the hospital due to a delay of surgery. So I guess I just wait and hope for the best and keep talking to the manager as I did again today. They are supposed to look at his graft tomorrow to check on the progress. One cool thing is that the surgical beds in the hospital are made by HillRom! yes, that's right. For you Brookville people, you understand that it's a big deal since HillRom is right next door in little Batesville, Indiana.

It occured to me today that I don't talk a lot about some of the basic cultural things I encounter everyday. I guess I figure many of you have already read my book and know some of this. But let me brief you slightly...for instance, I take a bus to town every morning. The bus conductors stand outside of the bus and yell for passengers to come and wait for it to fill up before continuing. Then they come around to collect your money. Most days it's 30 shillings but it varies on the same route and i glance around at everyone else hoping to know the cost. To get to the hospital I take a matatu, and these have become much less blingy these days. The music seems softer than my last time here and they aren't decked out with as many stickers and all sorts of writing anymore either. New laws have caused these changes. I used to see Obama's face all over them and Britney Spears, and various other pop stars but not as much now. Sometimes I think the matatu drivers must just be bored and that is why they choose to take these ridiculous "short cut" routes that go off the sidewalk and through the dirt and are always very bumpy. Often people are selling bananas right next to the matatu and Rach and I are usually eager for them to come to our window so we can by a snack. There is a small shop with food and household products right next to our house. I love it and will really miss the convenience of it. We go there every morning to by milk and bread for making tea. They sell airtime for the phone, snacks, rice, oil, toilet paper. you name it, it's there.

i went to exchange american money today, and i can't say i enjoy this. you have to go into a small "room" where the cashier is behind glass. And no one outside can see completely into these rooms although you can make out shadows. it's all meant for security, but i don't know if it helps. once in the room i could completely see how much money the person in the room next to me was exchanging. how exactly is that secure? and by the way, they hate small bills here. $20 gets a worse exchange rate than a $50 or $100. does that happen at home? at one point during the exchange someone handed the cashier a huge wad of thousands of shillings. just seeing that much money makes me fear theft. i left quickly once i was done, hoping that everyone on the street didn't notice that i just came out of this place. it's not exactly great for people to know you're carrying around lots of cash.

A Success Story

2011-08-01T07:34:00.000-07:00

I'm very excited to tell you that Ephantus, the boy from the streets that Alex took to his house, has now been safely delivered to his home somewhere in Thika (I think). He stayed at our house last night and was doing quiet well. He speaks great English, so it was easy to communicate. He ate 3 chapatis that Rach and I made (which weren't too bad), and seemed quite content. Alex took him back this morning and left a little money with the grandmother for food. They are going to try to look for a place for him to go to school. Alex says that no public schools will admit him when the term begins in September (they are off in August) b/c public schools only admit people when the school year starts in January. So hopefully they find a private school to send him to (and no it won't be fancy like some private schools in the U.S.). I thank God for his return home, and I urge us to continue praying together that this boy will continue staying off the streets and be able to go to school.

By the way, this keyboard that I'm using is amazing...it's one of the few I've used that doesn't have keys which stick hence the reason I'm able to use capital letters :) But for some wierd reason yahoo doesn't work today. Only Google programs like this blog. TIA

I just returned from the hospital with Rach and Julius. This was of course a 3 hour event like normal. It ended up that Peter didn't have surgery until Sunday, so all that running around on Saturday morning to sign paper work was completely unnecessary. Rach and I met with the manager of the hospital to try to avoid having to pay for all these days that Peter unnecessarily stayed in the hospital when he could have been discharged. Pretty much I think we just paid for him to stay there and eat chicken. The manager was more helpful than other people and she was able to find us a doctor to talk to within 45 minutes (better than the normal 2 that we wait). The surgery went fine I guess, but now we are waiting 3 days for them to remove the bandages and see if the skin graft took. They took skin from his upper thigh and grafted it on his fibula. This is the first day in many that Peter seemed to be in pain. Please pray that there will be quick healing and that he can be discharged soon.

This morning we were with the street women. We had planned to wash the babies but all the women complained that it was too cold. And it probably was. August is a bit chilly here. I'm wearing a dress and a fleece jacket today, and I'm cold. So we decided to postpone the washing until Wednesday. We're hoping to make it a joint effort where the women do it with us so that we are teaching responsibility. Plus, there is one baby, Mugo, who is constantly smelling like poop. He must never get changed. Just being close to him turns my stomach and Rachel has to encourage me not to think about it. Last week we noticed that one of the women, Mama Vincent, was using a plastic bag as a diaper for her kid. He kept making swishing sounds as he walked around. Actually I think it's a pretty resourceful idea really. I mean at least his clothes aren't always soiled. We were sad today b/c Mama Vincent was doing drugs when we arrived. She has been clean and drug free for weeks since we met her. We pulled her aside to discuss this and she said it's because she is very stressed since she lost her house a few weeks ago. I fear that she will slide down the same path as the rest when she clearly has a chance to make it out of this situation. She speaks great English and she was wearing this cool bracelet that she made today. I told her she should sell them to make money. She said, "I make one and you buy it from me." And I said that maybe we could trade the bracelet for food. Money would be a bad idea I think.

Rachel and I discussed with the women about all being part of the body of Christ and looking out for each other. We made them work in partners to make bracelets, and they did a good job with the teamwork. And then someone started playing with my hair and before I knew it, 4 women were standing around me braiding my hair. I love when people play with my hair, so it was nice even though it looked pretty ridiculous. I think women are always surprised at how white people's hair doesn't easily stay braided like the Kenyans'. Somewhere during our time one of the babies was pulling on my very large hoop earrings, until I yelled, "Hapana" meaning, "no." And Mama Vincent commented that the baby was trying to turn me into a Masai (since their earlobes are very largely gauged). Alex jokes about Rachel's ears since they are gauged, saying she is turning into a Masai.

On a good note, the landlady agreed to let us stay in the house for 2 more weeks and only pay half month's rent, which she previously wouldn't agree to. I figured she'd come around since she has no other renter. So Rach and I are happy not to have to move our stuff around. Also I am feeling better. I self diagnosed myself and got some amoxicillin (no you don't need a prescription here). And I should also mention that I'm enjoying the food much better this time. Rachel and I have learned to make quite a few Kenyan dishes and I think we are much more content since we get to decide what to have for dinner everyday. I'm about over the whole peanut butter thing though since I eat it almost everyday for lunch. We make it our mission to eat as many mangoes and pineapples as possible since they are amazing and cheap. Even the bananas taste better here. We make jokes about how a lot of my pants don't fit, which I like to think might be because I've lost a little weight, but I think mostly they get stretched out during washing and never shrink back since there's no dryer. And although I'm really ready not to have dirty feet everyday when I come home, I'm really not ready to leave here in 2 weeks. Yes, things are hard some days, but there is so much to love about the people here and the work we are doing.

Progress?

2011-07-30T03:41:00.000-07:00

I'm never sure if things that i think are really positive news are actually going to pan out, but perhaps some positive things have happened in the last few days. let us thank God for these blessings: First, the street women are continuing to show up on time and listen much better. We made necklaces with them this week and discussed trust and they seemed to enjoy. one woman named naomi made me a necklace and bracelet. people make things for rach and i all the time. i joke with her that we should see who can wear the most bling at once.

another exciting thing is that shaniza, the young girl we found on the streets and took home, finally called alex. she is staying with her brother and found somewhere to go to school. so i'm hoping that this will pan out and work. also yesterday i talked with a street boy who i hadn't seen much. he's only been on the streets for 2 weeks and hasn't done any drugs. he was living w/ his grandmother and ran away b/c there was no food and no one could pay for his school fees. alex again took him to live with his brother and told him if he's still there on monday that he'll take him home. the boy kept saying, "you're going to pay for me to go to school?" and i said, yes as long as you hold up your end of the deal: no drugs, no running away. he was super excited, but we'll see. we didn't risk buying him any new clothes this time like we did w/ francis. perhaps if he's still there monday we can get him some then.

peter is having surgery today, which is a good thing b/c we've been waiting forever. they took the vacuum off his leg and part of the skin has healed back together. but they are doing a skin graft for the other part. the wound is very clean now but you can practically see down to the bone. the hosptial has been overwhelmingly frustrating. i still can't get answers and am being charged ridiculous amounts of money every day. they don't communicate at all. they called tall this morning to tell him someone had to come to the hospital immediately to sign release papers before surgery. why they didn't tell me this yesterday or thursday when i begged for information, i don't know. i was sooooo furious and mad this morning. it was all i could do to keep from either crying or screaming. how would jesus react in this situation i wonder? Rachel was there for hours earlier in the week with Tall trying desperately to get information (they made her cry). and i was there on thursday with edwin for almost 4 hours. i think they finally understood my frustration b/c evenutally there were 3 orthopedic susurgeons by Peter's bed trying to talk with me. there was much discussion and conflicting views about whether or not his bone had an active infection. b/c if it did they need to work on fixing it or the wound won't properly heal. everyone has a different view, and no one is sure it is even fixable if there is an infection. and by the way, he has compensated for the pain of his leg by walking on the ball of his foot, which has permanently misshaped his foot, and i'm not sure it will ever be right. i do hope after all this that he is at least somewhat better and able to walk. this problem is so much bigger than me and completely out of my control. so just pray that God would work through this and i would trust Him.

Another awesome thing is that Popo graduated from college on Thursday. he said it was the best day of his life and kept saying thank you so much for sending him to school. he was saying how much of a role model he had become for people in kibera and that his mom was so proud. i went with him to the ceremony, which was so ridiculous that you have to laugh. we left at 6 a.m. after several buses and matatus we arrived at 8 something. popo went inside and we proceeded to stand in a very long line for nearly 2 hours. just as we were starting to get nearer to the entrance a part of the line we had already stood in that was looping around completely turned around and went the other direction so that there were now 2 lines. so we basically wasted an hour and a half in that part of the line. then when we got to the entrance they took our tickets, and we went in, and there were no seats. anywhere. people were sitting far from the tent on the grass and you couldn't hear or see anything. and it was hot and eric was with us and went to find a shady place for popo's mom to sit. that place happened to be the sidewalk far away where you couldn't see the tent at all. i sat on the sidewalk reading for 30 minutes before popo walked out. all the graduates were walking around and no one of them sat in their seats to listen for long. apparently being present at the graduation or listening is optional. i left after not long to go to the hosptial, but at least i was there for moral support i guess. popo even walked me 20 minutes out to the road to put me on a matatu before going back into the graduation. and there were vendors selling all kinds of funny graduation signs and tinsel and flowers. it felt like a fair in some sense. TIA.

I heart BOLM

2011-07-26T08:26:00.000-07:00

Popo and I just got back from BOLM. For those of you who've read my book or heard me talk much about Kenya, you will probably remember this place. BOLM is a children's home where I used to spend a lot of time when i was here last time. unfortunately, they've moved about 2 hours outside of the city so it's impossible for me to go there regularly. but fortunately i was able to go visit last night. Popo arranged with Agatha, the director for us to come. it was fitting that he come with me b/c he also used to spend a lot of time there. after the street women ministry yesterday (where rachel and i spent a lot of time watching kids while alex talked to the women and then we did some watercolor painting with them and helped the kids who were trying to eat the paint) popo and i took a matatu to get there. we waited an hour for the matatu to fill up so that we could leave so it took us over 3 hours to get there. it was already starting to get dark when we arrived, but the place where BOLM is now, Kirinyga, is beautiful. i love the villages of kenya. they are much more peaceful (despite the bumpy road getting there), and relaxed. people were selling sugar cane at the stop where we got off. everyone welcomed us and i recognized many of the kids. the place has really grown. there are over 100 kids now and there were only 40ish last time. there are 2 big dormitories for boys and girls. after saying hi, we joined the kids in what agatha called a "fellowship." we had to go inside one of the classrooms b/c it started raining. we sang worship songs and the kids danced and clapped around and then agatha preached. she kind of scares me because she yells so loud and intensely. i know this is common for kenya, but i can't help wondering if it's too much for these small children. in any case they seem very happy. many of them are orphans or former street kids and they are obviously in a better place now. during all this it got dark and there were no lights. of course, dumb me forgot to bring a flashlight.

as soon as i got there, i could tell i was very emotional. agatha kept telling me that the kids still remember me. they were asking about some of the other MSTs that i worked with last time, and they asked where my mom was too. i think i was so happy and surprised/grateful to be there. as we sat there singing in the dark i kept telling popo that i was going to cry. and then i did. and not just little tears either; they were pouring down. maybe it was also the realization that i'm leaving soon or the nostalgic feeling of being there; or the peace that came over me; or how it reminded me of being at summer camp as a kid. i don't know, but i was crying a lot. popo was wearing a t-shirt that micah and harry screen printed with the BOLM school on it, and he was telling the kids about how i remember them so much i put them on a shirt. i saw zakayo, my favorite kid who's in the picture in my living room. he speaks english now and he remembers me too. of course, he's no longer attached me the way that he was before, but the fact that he remembers is enough.

we sat there singing in the dark for a long time until the kids were practically falling asleep, and then they finally got to eat dinner in the pitch black dark. i've decided that eating is one thing that kenyans do really fast (as do i). popo and i waited b/c agnus served us food in her house. i always feel bad knowing that people are sharing the little that they have. we sat and talked with her for a while. i don't completely trust this lady b/c of things that happened the last time i was here, and she spent considerable time mentioning about how they needed help there with food and sending kids to school. i actually would be happy to help but i know it would have to be by directly bringing food there or something not in the form of cash. i hate that helping is so complicated b/c of trust issues. at one point she said, "so what are you going to do for us?" and i said, "I'll be praying for you." popo said that he laughed inside when i said it. shortly after popo decided he was going to sleep and he left me there with agatha. i was a little scared b/c it was so dark, and i had no idea where i would be sleeping. it ended up that i shared a bed with agatha, which was funny. i mean i have no problem sharing beds, but it was funny that it was her. she had all these dolls and stuffed animals lining the bed that she removed for me, and she put so many blankets on the bed. she then left, and i was confused if she was coming back. the ceiling was vaulted and tall and teachers were in the other rooms laughing and yelling at agatha to make the other go away. the sound was carrying everywhere, and i wasn't sure if i would be able to sleep. agatha came back in and put up a mosquito net, which just ended up falling all over my face. i got so hot and sweaty at night (it's much warmer than nairobi), but i was afraid to take off my jacket b/c i heard mosquitos and i'm not sure if it's a high risk area for malaria or not (and i'm not taking any medicine). but no worries, i don't think i got any bites. all night i woke up as agatha came in and out (yes she did sleep there eventually) or the net fell in my face. at one point i had to go the bathroom but i knew i couldn't get up (the bathroom was an outhouse and i had gone there earlier in the dark with a kerosene lantern). i was sleeping against a wall too, so i felt a little trapped in a cocoon. agatha and the kids get up very early. it was still dark out, so i think it was about 5 a.m. when i woke up there were about 4 kids in the room making tea on a gas burner, agatha was changing, and everyone was talking loudly. i stayed there for a while not knowing what to do. eventually i got up and asked for some water to wash my face. they were going to boil it so it would be warm, but i told them i was fine.

we ate breakfast, chai and bread with honey from nearby, and then went to play with the kids. popo and i brought lots of puppets and did a skit about jesus calling his disciples and telling them to be fishers of me. the kids loved the puppets. we sang songs and then passed out markers and construction paper and had them write down ways they can follow Jesus. they all wrote lots and drew and enjoyed themselves. i took the older kids and broke out the modeling clay for them to make pendants. they really liked this, more so than the juvenile boys i think. we came back together later for more games and singing and prayer. this was such an uplifting joyous day to my heart. I am so blessed that God allowed me to go back there. i love that these kids are so happy even though they have little (one nice thing is that someone had just provided new shoes for all of them, but their clothes are pretty basic and worn). and i forgot to mention that the night sky there is incredible. i'm pretty sure that i could see more stars there than anywhere else i've ever been in my life. it was beautiful.

please continue praying for peter in the hospital. this situation has become a disaster because of communication problems. we hope that he's improving, but i'm having trouble getting clear answers. i don't want to write much or i'll get mad, so let me stop there. also continue praying for my health; i walk around coughing all day.

i was able to see dottie on sunday and make chapati with her. it was great reconnecting.

and a funny endnote: before ash left last week she got out her packet of info from the doctor about kenya, the health risks, transportation, climate, etc. there was all sorts of comments about the matatus being unsafe and there not being an official bus system and health risks and not eating fruit unless you peel it, etc. she started reading some of this stuff out loud and alex couldn't believe it. he thought everything was very exaggerated and far fetched. and it's funny b/c it's a pretty accurate description really. he said something about probably no one wanting to come here b/c of this information ( and then the next day something happen and he said, "it is true what they wrote.") one part said that approx 10 vehicles are hijacked everyday. and alex said, "do you have a car? NO, so you don't need to worry about it" anyway, we were laughing in good fun about it and because we broke all those rules on day 1 :)

i wish i knew swahili

2011-07-24T05:03:00.000-07:00

So I'm still feeling pretty crummy. I have a bad cough and feel like I have junk stuck in my lungs. I'm sure the moldy house is really not helping the problem (perhaps it's the cause), but I found some medicine today, so maybe that will help. I tried really hard to rest last night, although it's difficult in our house. Lots of people keep their clothes in our room, and Popo came in late last night and turned on the lights and asked how I was doing. Yes, lights and noise policies are very different at home.

Yesterday Alex and I went to the juvenile and talked with them about honesty. we shared the story from acts 5 about Ananeis and how he lied to God about the amount of money he was giving. Alex talked about how people rip off mzungus by overcharging them on the matatus, and he's always able to tell stories in a way that makes the kids laugh. rachel went with julius that morning b/c he had a toothache, so it was just alex and i. sometimes it's hard for me just being with one other kenyan b/c there is no one to translate what's happening, and i often feel lost and not that useful. i brought model magic for them to work with. some of the kids really loved it (especially antony who's good at clay), but many of them just made it into a ball of clay and were throwing it around all over the place. i tried to explain how to make something else and get the point across that it would probably break once it dried if they used it as a ball, but no one seemed to care. i suppose it doesn't matter much since they don't have much to play with. at least they were enjoying themselves.

in the afternoon i went to the hospital to check on peter. getting there was a challenge b/c i was by myself and i couldn't figure out where to meet the matatu from where i'd gotten off on the way from juvenile. i almost started crying, which is completely ridiculous, but every person told me something different, and i didn't know who to believe. it is so challenging b/c in america i'm very independent, and it's much harder to be that way here. i wish i spoke better swahili and that i wasn't white. anyway, peter seems fine, but it's becoming a huge frustration b/c none of the doctors will tell us what's going on. they have this vacuum sort of thing on his leg and i guess they don't know if it's helping until they take it off every few days. no one would give me a clear answer about anything. and our attempts to call the doctor have been worthless. he says he'll update us, but he doesn't or he hangs up. rachel and tall are there now trying to clarify. we're concerned that if this isn't working they won't tell us and we will just keep getting charged per day for the hospital stay and we have no idea if they will want to try to do something else instead. i can't help but wonder if this is partly b/c i'm white and that people think i have all sorts of money. the one hope is the lady in the billing department who is helpful and doesn't make me wait for hours. she was talking with me yesterday about what i did. her sister lives in alabama. she asked me how i like teaching and if the kids were bad. i explained that most were good, a few more challenging than others. and she said, "just like kenya." but then she said, "at least we can punish kids here though by beating them." and she was asking all sorts of questions about how we discipline kids. there's some issues like this that are just hard for me to understand.

Friday evening i went with edwin to deliver samosas to nakumatt. this lady bakes them at her house and pays him to deliver them to various nakumatts around nairobi (yes, very different health code laws). it was pretty cool being in the delivery part of nakumatt and knowing what happens behind the scenes. everyone was staring at me like, "what's the white girl doing here." our first drop off was a success and then we had to go to another nakumatt like 30 km. outside the city. there was lots of traffica and when we arrived the delivery part was already closed. actually we'd have never made it on time though b/c the samosa lady said they were open until 8 but it was actually only 6. edwin wasn't sure what to do, and the lady was yelling at him over the phone about how it was his fault and he'd have to figure it out. we weren't permitted to bring the coolers in the front door b/c of store policy. edwin was pretty upset, but then i suggested that we find someone inside to make an exception. i went with him to ask because although i hate admitting it, sometimes in these situations, being white helps. sure enough we found someone and i just was very smiley and they agreed to let us in. the delivery people were again surprised to see me when they opened the gate. one man said, "wewe!" (pronounced way, way) meaning "you."

today rachel and i met everyone at church. we slept a little longer and went late since we can only handle a few hours of church without falling asleep. it was peaceful having the house to ourselves for a bit. i did some laundry and the basin of water turned completely brown. awesome! i'm excited b/c my friend dottie is on the way to visit me. i knew her last time i was in kenya (she gave me the pink skirt).

update on the week

2011-07-22T06:07:00.000-07:00

I apologize for not posting for many days. There have been many late nights at the hospital this week where we get home too late to go to the cyber or instances like yesterday when I had time but the power was out. I finally have a free afternoon to write. Let's see...Monday morning we went to work with the street women, and we made some amazing progress I think. Only 4 women showed up, and we wouldn't let anyone else come in late, but it was nice to have only people there who really wanted to be there. Because there were so few of them, there was hardly any fighting or yelling going on. Everyone was calm. We discussed the fruits of the spirit, i think (my memory is fuzzy now), and then we brought beads for them to make bracelets. They loved this! everyone sat around stringing beads and they were excited to wear the finished product.

The afternoon was less than stellar. it was ashley's last day so she wanted to do something fun and treat everyone to going to the movies. rachel and i went with tall early to sit at some tables outside the theater to practice making some beads that we wanted to teach to the HIV+ women on Wednesday. Unfortunately when 3:15 rolled around, no one was there for the movies except our friend James. Tall wasn't planning to come with us, and all the other 7 or 8 people who had planned to come were no where in sight. None of us wanted to go into the movie and keep coming out to pay for people as they arrived. And personally, I was mostly just coming along to the movie b/c everyone else was excited, and Rachel felt the same. So we decided just to leave because Ashley was so frustrated and upset that no one cared enough to make it there on time. so us 3 mzungus went to Java, which is a very Western restaurant/coffee shop, with very good food. We decided we just needed to be away from everything. I was also very upset b/c earlier in the week Popo wanted to take Peter to get his haircut. I asked him not too b/c he still had the cuts on his head, which were just starting to clear up and I didn't want them to get infected. Of course, a few days later Popo took him anyway, and they next day Peter proceeded to get a really bad rash all over his head. it then spread to his back. we're pretty sure that whatever they put on his head to sterilize it made him have some kind of allergic reaction. i think he got his haircut in kibera, and you can't ever be sure of how clean things are there. so monday night i had a melt down b/c peter appeared to be getting worse (and when he went to get his leg rewrapped they did a blood test, which i didn't want them to do b/c it's not the best hospital and I don't really trust any diagnosis that they give) and that no one really cared. I walked in the dark (which massively freaked me out...I wrapped a scarf around my head so people couldn't see my mzunguness as much) to the chemist to find Benadryl hoping that that would help somewhat. Ashley reminded me later that I needed to stop worrying and trust God more.

Things got better though b/c a big group of 10 of us decided to all go dancing since it was Ashley's last night. Finding a place to go was a challenge and several changes of plans happened before we finally piled into our cab driver friend, Edwin's van. our land lady was later commenting to Alex about how many people we stuffed in there. anyway, all of us girls were pretty embarrassed b/c we hardly brought any money with us. we hadn't planned on going all the way to town and so we had barely enough money to pay to get in, and had to pay for our cab after we got home. and getting home was quite the ordeal. we came back around 1:00 a.m. and no one at home was answering their phone to come open the gate to let us in. we stood outside for a long time trying to figure out what to do. ashley wanted to climb over this tall tin fence, which totally wouldn't have worked, and other people were softly banging on the gate hoping not to wake up the land lady. finally another neighbor came but he was absolutely furious with us, and rightly so; it was Monday night after all. anyway, we did have lots of fun and despite being locked out it was worth it.

Tuesday we went on a field trip with the kids from Sara Junior (a preschool I volunteered at last time i was here). we took them to the safari park walk, which is a national park in nairobi. there are a few animals, which are hard to see, but the walk itself was high up near the tree tops on wooden bridges, and I liked seeing all the trees and natural side of nairobi. but ash, rachel, and I agreed that they are totally ripping off foreigners by charging them $20. I wouldn't even pay that much to go to a zoo at home. The kids seemed to like it well though it was difficult keeping everyone together. we each chaperoned a group, but these small kids are not used to any sort of structure like this and they often kept running off and we were frantically looking around for them. by the grace of God I had a really calm group that was well behaved. i think everyone else had a headache by the time they left.

afterwards we came back to town to take ash to the airport. we got stuck in a really bad jam so we proceeded to walk several miles into town so that we could meet the taxi on time. Edwin, Alex, and Steve took her to the airport and rachel and I left to take peter to the doctor. it was really sad seeing her go, and it's crazy how fast that month went. we got to the doctor (after getting on the wrong matatu and having to walk back to town for another one) only to find that the doctor wasn't there. we waited 2 hours for him to come. but thankfully he had a plan for fixing peter's leg, and we were able to admit him that night to Aga Khan Hospital. they are doing negative pressure therapy where they apply some kind of vacuum on his leg to mend the skin back together. The doctor studied in the U.S., which was comforting to me, and he knew exactly where Iowa and Indiana were. I do hope that he knows what he's doing and that this works. We've been to visit peter twice since then. He was really freaked out about being admitted at first b/c he was in Kenyatta Hospital before, and wasn't well taken care of. There were 3 patients staying in one bed! But now he's doing fine b/c they are serving him chicken, fruit, chips, and soup everyday. i'm pretty sure this is the best he's ever eaten in his life. he is supposed to have this treatment for 7 days, and then they'll see if they need to do something to the bone. please keep praying for him. it is a relief to have him in the hospital where i know that someone is taking care of him each day and he's not just being left alone to fend for himself.

Wednesday was the best day yet. we met with the HIV women and showed them this bracelet of ash's made of paper beads. it's very different though from the necklaces that i sold at home. i think this kind of style is more original than other things i've seen here and would sell better. we showed them how to get started, and this new lady, Beatrice came. she pulled a paper bead necklace out of her bag that she had made, and she was a great help at showing the other ladies what to do. she was very intrigued by this new style. everyone got really excited and started cutting, rolling, gluing. and then we brainstormed other things that they could make with the beads that they could try to sell. everyone had ideas and was giving input. it was awesome to see them empowered to make something. they are planning to make us a bunch of samples before wednesday so we can decide what we think people would like to buy. at the end they started clapping for us b/c they were so excited.

That afternoon we met with the street women and praised them for how respectful they were on monday and how much patience they showed. we did a lot of times of encouragement with them before tall demonstrated so ideas of cards they could make. we tried this another day, and no one was interested then, but everyone loved it this time. they got so caught up in making cards that no one noticed when the food came, and no one stopped working. i hope we keep seeing this progress. we saw Lydia, one of the women today, and her leg is crippled, so she came hobbling up with her cane but was smiling and so happy to see us. on monday we didn't give her food b/c she was late, but on Wednesday she was there on time.

Thursday we were in Kabete with the juvenile small boys talking about the fruits of the spirit. there are lots of new kids arriving daily, and it seems like it's getting harder to manage a big group of people. today we met with the street boys. Gerwin, our Dutch friend, brought this great video to show them about AIDS and he previewed it there, but when the boys came we couldn't get it to work. TIA. it felt like an unproductive morning, but we had a nice chat with John, one of the boys. he recited this poem for us: "In front of you is John Jenga, a street boy, ready to present to you a poem entitled, "I"ve got the Power." Life is short; life is sweet; take time to taste it. life is a journey. find the right path. but most importantly, life is what you make it. thank you."

it was very heart warming watching him. he really wants to go to school, and we're trying to figure out where he can go. alex is possibly going to try taking him home on sunday, although this worries me a little b/c i think there is some history of abuse/violence in the home, and i'm not sure how he'll do there. but he's very small and clingy, and really going to get beat up if he stays in the streets.

a funny story to finish: on the way back from the hospital on wednesday, alex was sitting in the back of the matatu. when people got off, he came up to sit by rachel and i since a seat opened up. he pretended like he didn't know us and said hello. he asked us our names, and we made up new ones. he made small talk with us as if he'd never met us. then he said, "are you married?" and we said no. and he said, "good because polygamy is legal in kenya." this lady in the front seat turned around b/c she thought he was serious and she gave him the most dirty, disgusted look. we could only keep the whole act up briefly though before we started cracking up.

all right that's all for now. pray for julius. he's having a toothache and might have to have it pulled. also, i'm getting some sort of sinus/cold kind of thing so pray for that too. have a great weekend :)

Relaxing with the Dutch

2011-07-17T08:31:00.000-07:00

The past two days have been really good. I feel like God has really given me peace, strength, and encouragement that have been much needed. A quick recap on what's been happening: Friday we met with the street boys and while we were waiting to start we taught them the macarena, which was quite funny. Then we had a very serious discussion about AIDS and sex education. After hearing the street boys talk on Monday, Alex was very alarmed, and we felt it was super important to talk about these things. The guys did most of the talking, but then we split up the group into the smaller and bigger kids. Some of the street boys are actually adults or late teens, so we took the smaller ones. There was one boy in the group who is only 8 years old, and he is on so many drugs that he can barely stay awake during our sessions together. Our talk with the smaller boys was pretty good. They took things more seriously than the older ones, and we got them to really open up. It's amazing that despite the very high infection rate of HIV in this country that these boys don't know much about how the disease is contracted. Plus there are all sorts of crazy myths going around about ways to get rid of the disease. Don't think I've mentioned this but Ashley really is a rock star of a teacher. She's really great at asking questions and explaining things. I already knew this, but I don't often get to see her teaching, so it's been good to have that experience. She is leaving on Tuesday and I"m really going to miss her, and Rachel said the same thing. We realized that this is the most time we've spent together since I was in high school. i'm glad to have had this experience together this summer.

After the street boys we took Francis to get new clothes. The plan was that Alex would take him to stay somewhere in Kibera for a few days and talk with him and mentally prepare him to go home. we walked forever far away to the market (where we constantly get harrassed, "sister, tops, tops, these are nice, etc) to get him clothes and we were carrying heavy bags. but we finally finished and once Francis changed he looked nice and no longer like a street boy. Julius took him to Kibera and the rest of us went with Peter to the hospital. The doctor there referred him to a plastic surgeon at Aga Khan hospital, which is apparently one of the best hospitals in the country and the best plastic surgeon in the country. we go there on tuesday. i feel like we're on a bit of a wild goose chase, and I hope that we can just get on with the surgery. every doctors appointment involves at least 2-3 hours of waiting, and while I'm using that time to read a lot, it gets old.

Back to Francis, unfortunately on Saturday when Alex's brother went to get him food he ran away, and now he is gone. Partly this doesn't surprise me but rather breaks my heart, but partly I just can't fathom why someone would choose street life over going home. I have 2 theories: either he is too afraid to go home or he recently has been using more drugs and he is addicted and he left to get drugs. I can't really imagine any other scenarios. Alex thinks we will find him again, although i'm not so sure.

In good news, Saturday Rachel and I went to the big boys juvenile. we did the flood skit (again, yes we do every skit about 4 times during the week) and sang songs before doing some arts and cooking. julius and i took a group of kids and i taught them to make french toast. the bakery classroom was locked and so we did this outside and i had them sit on this ledge of concrete (the headmaster came later and said, oh i had no idea you were coming. alex had told them but the man is very flighty). we only had one jiko (charcoal burner) and one frying pan, and we did this with about 60 kids, so you can imagine that this took several hours. it was pretty smooth at first but crowd control became a big problem in the afternoon. i expected this because it's always an issue. doing things in an organized fashion is not Kenyan style, so you just make do. there were a list of kids for the afternoon cooking session but many more tried to come too. boys were shoving each other and yelling and kicking people out, and it was impossible to get their attention. i gave everyone one piece of bread and made them sit and wait. it took so long that one boy, felix, correctly pointed out that the sun was making his bread stale. i said don't worry, the milk will soften it up again. meanwhile rachel was making picture frames with foam, and several boys used it as an opportunity to make love note pictures for her. one note said "black guy featuring white girl." i don't think they realize, even after telling them, that we're a lot older. all in all, despite the chaos, i think the boys liked it and it was a good day.

we got home and ash had prepared snickerdoodle batter. we went to our dutch friend's house in a nearby nicer neighborhood, and got to use their oven. however, there are no temperature settings on it and i added too much flour i think and the altitude affects the baking, so they tasted a little different. anyway the dutch people made us pancakes and we got to meet their adopted children (one from south africa and one from kenya). they've been in kenya 8 months and are still waiting for their son's visa so that they can go home. they help us with the street ministry, and it was a joy to hang around western people in a clean house where the roads outside are not dirt. the roads outside our house are dirt and so dirt gets tracked all over our house. it's just nice to be able to relate to people and clearly communicate with them. and i think it's awesome that Erec, their 5-year-old, is getting exposure to so many different nationalities of people at such a young age.

we came home last night and our key didn't work for the gate. guess what? the land lady changed the lock again! but she came to the gate and gave us a new key (at 9:30 p.m.) um hello...isn't that something you should tell people about earlier in the day? but we laughed it off. I offered her one of our cookies and said, "oh we thought maybe we had the wrong gate." she laughed and said, no, no. i think she likes us now. our toilet is leaking like 1 liter of water an hour by the way and it's created mold all over the back of the toilet. we paid someone to fix it, and he fixed it by putting the handle on upside down so that you flush it up. unfortunately this only worked for about 8 hours. by night time it was leaking again. i have been informed that this building where we're staying is brand new. i don't think that's possible. it is so poorly put together. the counter top is unlevel and things roll off of it. everything keeps breaking. the sink leaks and we keep a pan underneath. my underwear were covered in mold on friday from all the moisture in the room. at least it keeps us laughing. the other funny thing is this man, gitau, who works in the building. he's always wearing this hat so we refer to him as the man with the hat. whenever he sees us he asks how we are and then when we ask back he says he is very hungry. we shared some food a few times, but even alex has gotten annoyed at the way he seems to take advantage (only he makes it into a funny story that he tells the kids about how the man acts when he sees the mzungu). one day ashley said, "yes, we're really hungry too. we haven't eaten yet."

this morning we went back to juvenile for a devotion. amazingly the kids were all sitting listening and ready to go, and alex had no problem getting them wound up with his funny stories. we talked about the fruits of the spirit in galatians and talked a lot about patience and self-control, which is a huge struggle for them, and definitely me too. it is awesome to see how much the kids look up to alex. i think God is really using alex to influence them in positive ways and i'm glad for them to have him as a role model.

then we had tea and went to church 3 hours late again, and then were at church for about 3 hours. we hung out dancing around the church afterward while everyone packed up. our friend Tall (don't know if i've mentioned him. he's someone new that i've met this time) took Rachel and I to the masai market today. he is excellent at bargaining. ash is at home getting her hair braided i think. she went with popo to church in kibera today.

hope you're having a great weekend. thanks for your prayers. please continue to pray for peter and his situation and figuring out schooling for him. the next school session begins in september. also pray for francis that we might find him again and have wisdom about what to say to him.

Francis, Obama's people, and one year older

2011-07-14T08:20:00.000-07:00

I feel like everyday things happen that could possibly turn out to be really good but that they don't always or i'll never know for sure what happened. for instance, this afternoon alex and i went to track down the street boy Francis. We found him pretty easily, amazingly, not far from where we meet with the boys on Fridays. I recognized the back of his head. Alex wanted to speak with him without the other boys around so we took him to a park. Alex had a talk with him about how the other boys are influencing him to use drugs and how it's not too late to turn his life around. I encouraged him as well saying that he had lots of potential and should go back to school. although he never could look me in the eye, he also agreed that he wanted to go back to school and back to his parents (I didn't know this was an option, but they seem to be on ok terms.) alex thinks that he might have left home when his parents couldn't pay for school fees. So we got Francis soap and food, and the plan is that tomorrow when we meet with the boys Alex will take him to stay somewhere in Kibera I think for a few nights. And then if he does ok there, we will try to take him home to Nakuru on Monday and arrange for paying for school. That's several hours drive, by the way, and it amazes me that kids from far away make it all the way to Nairobi. In any case, I'm really hoping that Francis follows through on his part and that this could work. I will believe it when I see it, and pray in the meantime. Unfortunately, Sheniza, the girl we met Monday, has not called Alex about paying for school, so she could be back on the street again. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and tired by the lack of progress that seems to happen. I'm praying that while we are here we would see at least a few kids leave the streets. Please pray with me and that we would not grow weary in meeting with them.

we visited the little boys juvenile home this morning. and did the skit about the flood coming and the man not accepting the help that God had sent. we talked about being grateful for God's blessings and using the opportunities in front of us that he has given us. we sang some songs and then split up for arts and games. Rachel and I broke out the beads for bracelet making. Kids love beads here, and I mean LOVE them. alex and i went over to the big boys juvenile afterwards b/c he needed to meet with someone there about us coming (it seems although alex has been coming for a long time and even though we've told them and met with them, it's not quite right. TIA). and can i randomly add that as i'm sitting here at the cyber cafe, the man next to me is listening to shania twain in his headphones while singing out loud and playing the music so loud that i can make out every word. we're also sitting in plastic pool like deck chairs, which are popular here, even in churches, restaurants, etc.

anyway, juvenile: when we got there, class 6 was in class with no teacher--typical. so alex decides to give them an english lesson so that they're not just sitting there doing nothing. i tried to help as well as we discussed nouns and verbs, etc. i tried to have them practice writing something until it became clear that only a handful of kids had a pen or pencil to write with. can you imagine going to school and not having pencils for students?

yesterday we tried to go minister to the street women but they took forever to come even though we walk right past them and say hello before we go into the church where we meet. they just leisurely come at their own pace. the time ticked by, and ash, rachel, and I were needing to leave soon to go take peter to the doctor. we started talking with chantel, this dutch lady who comes to help, about how the women are taking advantage of the situation. she agreed and said there needs to be a cut off time where the women must come by or else they don't get food. we explained this to the pastor, and he said yes we can try that. and i said, how about we go tell them they have 5 minutes to come or they don't get fed. and guess what?...they all came pretty quickly. alex then started talking to them about coming on time and being respectful, and it resulted in this huge yelling/interrupting fest by the women. it was pretty ridiculous. i think that they've sort of done things how they want for so long that they've really manipulated the situation. the fighting was still going on and we had to leave for the doctor. we then proceeded to have many bus drivers try to rip us off and overcharge us for bus fare, and so i kept refusing to get on any bus. a worker for one of the bus companies tried to radio another bus to put us on at what he said was a fair price, but i couldn't really tell if he was being honest or not. finally, we found a bus to take (it had to be the right number) and we only paid 30 shillings instead of the 50 that many were insisting we pay. it sort of comes down to how long are you willing to wait for the correct price and is it worth fighting for 20 cents. it's just the idea of corruption and trustworthiness that are important to me and we had a little time to spare, so it was worth it. we waited 1 1/2 hours at the doctor, even though we had an appointment. the doctor said at the very least peter's leg needs to have skin grafts for the fibulua because that part of his leg has hardly any skin. there's just muscle and tissue showing barely and the bone is right underneath. he couldn't tell if the bone was infected b/c the x-rays weren't clear enough so he sent us to have an MRI done down the road. he called the place to see how long the wait was. they told him to have us come tomorrow and he said, "No, these are Americans; they don't want to wait all day. Please be nice to Obama's people." we were cracking up. unfortunately, rachel and alex waited with him for several hours anyway. i got a little worried about them b/c they came home around 9:30 p.m., which is late to be traveling around Nairobi. i came back at 8 myself, and i remembered why i don't travel at night. too creepy, risky, dangerous. nothing is well lit, so you can't really see who's coming up behind you or towards you. tomorrow we go back to the doctor to see what should happen with Peter. the doctor was planning to refer us to a plastic surgeon if the bone isn't infected. continue to pray for this situation.

on a funny note, we helped alex realize that he's 26 and not 25. we were talking about birthdays and he was saying how he was born in april of '85 (which is 1 month and 1 year after me), so i said, oh you're 26 then. and he kept saying, no i'm 25. and i said, well you must be born in '86 then. and he insisted that he was born in '85, so we told him he had to be 26 then. he said it's common for people to sort of fudge a date on the birth certificate b/c in his case he was left at the hospital without his mom around for a while so no one knew the exact date.

please pray for ash, rachel, and i for strength and perserverance. the lack of communication continues to wear on us but we pray for positive spirits and loving hearts to overcome this.

evicted/not evicted and hanging with street boys

2011-07-12T08:08:00.000-07:00

i started typing this yesterday, and then we had a sudden blackout and the computers all turned off. so we'll try this again:
the past day and a half seems almost so ridiculous that i don't think it really happened, and i feel kind of silly telling the story. but it went something like this:
yesterday was a great morning for me. alex and i went to the juvenile on sunday morning for devotion time with the kids. i talked with them about how we are one family in christ and that it's our responsibility to look after each other and care about each other. alex expanded on this by saying that no matter what tribe we're from or what city, we're all united in christ. we sang songs afterwards and i thought we were about finished since we'd been there for 1 1/2 hours. then a bunch of kids came in, and alex said, ok it's time for session 2. he looked at me and said, are you ready to speak? i just gave him this blank expression wondering what in the world he was talking about. and he says, "you didn't prepare something for session 2?" um, no...you didn't say anything about 2 sessions. no worries though. tia, you just make it up as you go. this type of miscommunication happens a lot with everyone and after a while it's really exhausting. it helps though to have ashley and rachel to talk about it with. i know that there is no way i can ever come here by myself again. it's too difficult. you must have another westerner to relate to. anyway, juvenile was good and then we went and got tea and prolonged going to church, which was fine b/c this service is at least 5 hours long....yes, for real. we got there around 12 i think and it ended at 3. i think it started at 9 or 10. but it was one of the best services i've been to. the pastor was funny and told lots of stories and we were dancing around and jumping up and down so much during worship that i was sweating. ashley said we should have worn workout clothes instead of skirts.

the drama started when we got home. we've been having more small problems with the land lady and alex mistakenly thought that we could use our deposit money to pay for this last month of rent. mixed in with this is that we were trying to figure out a place where some of these street boys could live and start going back to school. we were thinking of trying to rent a place and have julius and alex stay there with them and that we would stay there until we left. so alex decided (sort of without telling us) that we were moving. he told the landlady as much and we started looking for other places. we found a sweet apartment and things seemed good to go. we packed up everything. and alex nicely asked the landlady for our money back. i think twice she promised it the next day. so sunday afternoon we sat around forever waiting for her husband to bring us our deposit and check us out. he never came and never came. we had the entire apartment packed up (which wasn't much stuff really). he finally came at 9:30, and it was this huge altercation with alex about all sorts of things that we'd have to pay for. apparently no matter what you always have to have the apartment repainted when you leave. and he was making up charges for all sorts of things. he wanted to keep all our deposit and told us we owed more as well. the whole thing was pretty ridiculous. ash and rach finally went to look at the lease papers, which alex did not have, to make sure everything was true, and it was very brief and open for interpretation, so pretty much whatever the landlord says goes. we went to bed not really sure what to do. in the morning when we looked at the lease for the other apartment there were a lot of red flags to me. like you have to repaint and varnish the floors before leaving and you can't put any nails in the walls and there are no set charges for damages. so we collectively decided we shouldn't move. it became clear to us girls that none of these guys have ever signed this type of lease before and have no idea of what is involved in renting apartment. and ashley correctly said we can't blame them b/c they've grown up in kibera and have never had this experience. so we went and nicely talked to the landlady, and she was happy to let us stay as long as we paid our rent for this month (but i'm sure we're going to lose our whole deposit b/c of repainting charges, etc). we then had to unpack everything again, and now all my clothes and stuff are just wadded up in my suitcase, which by the way has mold growing on it b/c it is sitting in that damp room that never dries. we're chalking this all up to a good learning experience for everyone. we've been extra nice to the landlady, and we're trying to show her love despite some of our falling outs. we also decided that we won't be renting a house to put these boys...there are too many what ifs involved for us to think about that right now. perhaps we can look around and find other alternatives homes to place them in, although alex has many doubts that that could work due to trying this before without much success.

on a positive note, some good things happened yesterday. we went to see the street women and arrived very late b/c we were unpacking the house. the pastor that helps with this ministry was there wrapping up his talk with them. i looked around (everyone was sitting in plastic chairs on this cement patioish thing) and almost everyone was sniffing drugs. i think the pastor is either naive or too nice, b/c he seemed unbothered by it. he told us he was leaving to get food for the women. then he said, "and this lady over there prayed and accepted christ today." rachel and i asked for clarification on which woman, and it was a new lady who was sitting sniffing drugs. we just looked at the pastor like, "seriously, you have to be kidding me. the lady is totally high right now." i know you're wondering about the good part...here's where it gets funny. i became super frustrated b/c we've clearly told the women that they can't do drugs there. i don't think it's too much to ask people to not sniff for 2 hours in exchange for us feeding them (and talking to them). they were all crowding around alex asking for things, complaining, etc, and i couldn't take it. and so i just started yelling, without even telling alex i had something to say, i started yelling, and he started translating. i said that we cared about them a lot but that they were treating this time together like a joke. they weren't respecting the rules, and it was a complete slap in the face to us. we're here to help and love them and they can't even leave the drugs for a short time. as alex is translating, they start yelling and blaming each other. agnus, one woman, is sort of the ringleader and she's always super doped up. she started to interrupt, and i looked at her and pointed with my finger "skiza", meaning, "listen!" and she did. and everyone got really quiet. i think it really surprised them to see the nice white girl yelling. and then everyone started apologizing and agnus took out her drugs and poured them all out on the pavement (alex says she poured out a lot and that it cost a lot of money). it was a small victory, but it was great. i think tough love is really important, and we've been more than nice and loving and perhaps too soft at times. alex also had me talk to this pregnant lady that we've talked to multiple times. he had me tell her what the drugs are doing to her unborn baby. i really think that this baby is going to have massive birth defects and learning problems but i pray that i'm wrong. it is unfortunate that sin does not just affect us but others as well.
also during this time, a young girl came with the street women. she was only 13. alex, rachel, and i sat down with her b/c alex said she left the streets 6 months ago and was now back. we found out that she no longer had school fees and so she left home to look for money and hadn't slept for days b/c she was worried about being raped or hurt on the streets. we had a long talk with her about going back to school and how dangerous it was living on the streets. we made cards with her and some street boys who joined us later. and then we walked her all the way across town (probably 2 miles) to get on a matatu to go home. we gave her matatu fare, and alex's number. she's supposed to call him so that we can talk to her mom and arrange for paying for her to continue school when the new term starts in september. the fees are less than $50, so the cost is not a problem, but she will have to find somewhere new to go. she hasn't called yet, which makes me a little nervous. she made cards for rachel and i though saying how much she appreciated us talking to her and encouraging her.

after taking her back to the matatu we walked (many more miles) to a park to meet some of the street boys. we had fun playing frisbee with them while alex went to get them some food. but then while we were eating, the conversation became so disheartening. first francis, my fave kid, was back and had been doing drugs today. he has been clean every other time i've seen him. he first lied to me saying that the drugs on the sleeve of his shirt were not his b/c it was someone else's shirt. but it turned out later that he told alex he did the drugs today b/c someone stole his pants and he had to wear dirty muddy ones and he was embarrassed. then all the kids started talking about how they got tested for HIV yesterday b/c some organization was giving away free food if you got tested. b/c they found out they were negative, the went and did who knows what that night. they really have no clear understanding of AIDS i don't think, and when we talked to them they were just laughing. alex said that even though they're only 13, they are already sleeping around on the streets. rachel and i just looked at him with huge eyes, like oh my gosh these kids are so little, please tell me i miss heard you. so we talked to them the best we could even though they didn't seem to care much. please pray for these boys, for their safety, for their futures, for their relationship with Christ. it is so heart breaking seeing the ways that they struggle and i pray that we would be able to find somewhere for them to live and go to school and that they would be willing. remember too that alex used to be a street boy for several years in kisumu, and he is such an awesome testimony of how God broke those chains.

today was our break day. ash and i got up early and ran to nakumatt to get food to make biscuits and gravy. while i know i'm out of shape, i was particulary having trouble breathing while i ran and i wonder if that's partly the altitude. we made it back though and made delicious biscuits and gravy. ash decided it should be a birthday celebration for peter today b/c he doesn't know when his birthday is. so we sang to him and gave him a candle to blow out, and she gave him an activity book with a map and stickers of animals that live around the world. also some letter flash cards and some deodorant spray (the other day he sprayed ashley's dry shampoo all over him b/c he thought it was deodorant). we then went to the giraffe center and kazuri bead factory in karen. these were fun things, but it was a long day b/c there were 10 of us walking around together (and also we were surrounded by mzungu tourists all afternoon, which is just wierd here). i find myself growing very impatient with having so many people and things taking forever and waiting around and people not communicating well. i got really upset b/c we went down this trail at the giraffe park, and alex had us go up this steep hill. i kept saying, peter should not climb up there and they said they would carry him, and then they let him walk up there anyway. i think this is where the mom in me comes out. what the kenyans don't understand is that we paid a lot of money and that his leg is really serious. i don't think peter understands either. we're taking him back to the doctor tomorrow, so pray that that goes well. also pray that i would learn to hold my tongue more and think before speaking. and that despite not knowing what is going on half the time that i would have a positive attitude.

swimming with street boys

2011-07-08T07:20:00.000-07:00

first, let me say that i really appreciate the comments that people post. it is very encouraging to know that people are reading what i'm writing and staying connected with what's happening here. it's not always easy for me to communicate back to you b/c the internet is slow and the keyboard keys all stick and the internet goes out in the middle of typing, but i am thinking of you all back home and praying for you.

today was a pretty awesome day. i've been feeling overwhelmed lately by the number of people in our house. we've had a lot of get togethers recently, which is fine, but having 20+ people in this very tiny apartment of ours is a bit much. plus there's always loud music on or movies or people constantly getting phone calls/texts in the middle of prayers and no one switching off their phones (totally ok and acceptable). it's really hard for me to take in, but i try. this man two computers down from me has someone loudly calling him through the computer, but it doesn't sound like skype, and he was snapping at the cyber cafe worker to come fix the computer. everyone snaps here to get people's attention. anyway, despite all this, good stuff happened today.

we went to minister to the street boys today. we did the skit about the man who is in his house when the flood comes. he prays that god would save him. 3 people come to help him (one on foot, one in a boat, and one in a plane). each time he rejects their help and says god will save him. and the water gets higher and higher until he dies. he goes to heaven and asked what happened, and god tells him he sent 3 people to help, but he refused each person. we compared this story with the boys to their lives and how we're here to help them make better choices to get off the streets but that the decision is in their hands. alex got a guitar today, so we were able to sing some worship music with them. we then took about 11 kids who were "clean"ish, although not really, and not using to drugs, to go swimming. (most of the other kids sold the soap we gave them for drugs and they were really dirty). we had this huge group of us walking to the YMCA, and everyone was staring at the mzungus walking with all the street kids. i honestly didn't think they'd let us in at the Y b/c these kids were pretty dirty, but they did. the dutch guys came to help giving swimming lessons. the kids loved getting in the water, and we were able to teach them a little. apparently, the jump in the river a lot chasing plastic bags, and sometimes they drown b/c they can't swim. unfortunately, the water was super cold even for me, and since africans are always wearing sweaters when it's 75 degrees, they were of course very cold. most of the shorts we bought them for swimming were too big, and so all of them were falling down or barely staying up. we were a sight to behold splashing around in that pool, people frantically kicking their feet, and trying to learn to breath under water. afterwards we took them to a big park called aboretum. it is my new favorite place in nairobi. we had to walk pretty far out of town up a hill to get there. it's a shaded park full of trees and paths, flowers, even monkeys and it's pretty clean. i didn't feel like i was in nairobi there, and i thank god that this beautiful place exists in the midst of a city that is so chaotic. for most kids it was their first time to see a monkey. we sang songs, ate chips, and walked around. it was really sad to leave the boys this afternoon. i think god has really given rachel, ash, and i a heart for them. we hope to visit them more and more. we gave them big hugs on the street corner and had to leave not knowing if we'll see them again. (francis, my favorite kid from before, was no where to be seen today). they were already asking people waiting in traffic for money. please pray for these boys, that they would desire to make good choices, and that there would be a place for them to go. we took peter with us today, and the boys were very impressed, and jealous to see him looking clean and in nice clothes.

another funny thing that happened yesterday was that our matatu was over filled (with 18 people i think). the matatu conductor told us that if we get pulled over we should all start crying and pretend we're going to a funeral so that no one would be in trouble. so we practice fake crying in the matatu. and speaking of funerals, people take pictures at funerals, which is really creepy and wierd for me. popo made his girlfriend a movie slide show full of pictures from her sister's funeral..complete with the casket and grieving people. i've seen it at least 3 times, and it bothers me to watch it. and he used this really cool swahili song, but i don't want to listen to it ever b/c it makes me think of death.

crazy landlady and street boy in the house

2011-07-07T06:15:00.000-07:00

we have a crazy land lady. on monday we had lots of people over for our 4th of july bash. honestly, the house is very small and in the u.s you would never try to cram this many people in there, but it's super normal here so it shouldn't be a big deal. we had a fun time at first. we invited our neighbors over. they are eritreans. we met them a few nights ago because our gas cooker went out right in the middle of making tea, so we asked if we could borrow theirs. they let us and we gave them a thank you card and tootsie pops in return. so they came to the party and brought popcorn and we taught them to play jenga. us girls are really tired of this game, but everyone likes it so we just pretend that we do too. anyway, popo and friends came in later around 6, and they were being a little loud (but pretty typical to most kenyans) and the land lady freaked out. she insisted that everyone had to leave immediately. popo and his friends were really hurt b/c they think the main reason she was mad is that she's scared of them since they're from kibera. but the story gets more ridiculous. the land lady also locked out the man who lives in the apartment across from us because she wanted him to leave. she put a new lock on his door and the lock is underneath a steel panel in the door and you have to reach your hand up inside so it's almost impossible to cut it off. well the man came home yesterday and couldn't get into his house. so he came back with 3 police officers and i think they arrested the lady. then she came home later and had someone cut out his whole door (it's metal) and the apartment was left standing wide open with debris everywhere. all the people in the building kept coming in and asking what was going on. then, the lady put a new lock on the outside door that leads to the street and no one could get in or out the building. ash and rachel left to get drinks and this other man who works in the building was letting people in and acting as a watchman for the gate. he tried to steal ashley's key saying that it no longer worked but ash took it back from him. then alex came in to witness all the nonsense and he started yelling at the man about how ridiculous it is that everyone's being locked out of their houses and that we're paying to stay here. they also keep purposely turning the water off everyday and we don't know why. we have to ask them constantly to turn it back on or it will permanently stay off.

besides that drama, we have another challenge. this is the story of peter. peter is one of the street kids we've been working with. alex met him a few months ago and took him to stay at his house b/c he hasn't been doing drugs and wanted to go back to school. alex worked out something with the dad so that he was able to go home, but the dad started beating and abusing him and peter ran away again and was on the street. he came to our street boys meeting last week and that was the last time in a while that alex has seen him. but it's more complicated than that. the worst part is that he was hit by a car atleast a year ago or longer, and he was never properly treated. his leg is bloody and swollen everywhere. he met up with us on monday so that alex could take him to the doctor, only he'd suffered another injury at this point. someone had thrown rocks at his head and he was cut on his head too. obviously living on the street is rough. alex sat with him at the doctor all day and he was never properly treated still. kenyan hospitals are a complete joke in my opinion. most are very dirty and you sit for hours waiting and will probably not get a proper diagnosis. i was taking popo to the doctor on tuesday anyway, so we decided to take peter with us. i think you don't mess around with your health here. you might as well go somewhere that you can be correctly diagnosed. so popo and i took peter to nairobi hospital. it was an all day affair of waiting, paying, having his wounds cleaned and bandaged, getting x-rays and then seeing the doctor again. peter doesn't speak much english so communication is difficult. the whole time at the hospital everyone is looking at me with a look of "what are you doing stupid white girl? why are you trying to help this one boy? you think you can just save everyone here? yeah right" of course this isn't at all what i'm thinking. it's more like, well i hope that this boy has a chance and that i'm not spending money to help him and that he just runs away again. but really, i can't be okay knowing how bad his leg is and letting it stay like that. after speaking with the doctor, he said that he has a bone infection that's really bad. he referred us to an orthopedic surgeon. i knew it was bad at that point. popo didn't even know what an orthopedic surgeon is, meaning they don't send many people there. we went to speak with the surgeon, and basically he needs several surgeries to fix it. we're supposed to meet with him next week again. the first thing running through my mind is, how much is this going to cost? fortunately, healthcare is much much cheaper here but i don't know about for this. we won't really know anything until next week. in the meantime, they gave peter some antibiotics and a tetanus shot. he covered his eyes during the whole time they were cleaning the wound and started crying at one point. i stood there and rubbed his arms...i didn't know what to do. is this what it feels like to be a mom? we took peter back to our house b/c he can't stay on the street in this condition. alex says it's fine for him to stay with us b/c he lived with alex for a long time and never tried to steal from him or do anything bad. i feel fine about it. there are other street kids i wouldn't be ok with living with but i think peter is fine. we left him school work to do yesterday and told him he had to wash his clothes, and he did. popo was with him for a while and then we locked him in the house. he couldn't leave, so it seemed fine, and we locked up all our stuff just in case. he also did his dishes this morning, so i don't think he's a bad kid, but just has a bad past. ash went with him and popo today to have his bandages changed. she was going to help him with school work. we worked with him yesterday, and it was pretty discouraging. he's 15 (although he doesn't know his birthday) and he can't read at all. he can count a little and add a little, and that's about all. please pray about this situation. i do realize it's very bleak, but i also think he deserves a chance.

yesterday we saw the street women. one of their babies had pooped in his pants and it was wretchedly smelling. no one had anything to change him into, so they just left him like that. it made me want to gag and i feel so bad for these innocent kids. our team took turns watching the babies so their moms could listen better to our message without being distracted. there are a few women who aren't using drugs, so that's a little encouraging. we've tried to be more strict about kicking out women who are using drugs during our time together but it's hard. they put the drug on their clothes and huff from there. what are we supposed to do?...rip off their shirts? a new woman named Winnie has been coming. i don't think she uses drugs but has aids. she is very quiet but has good english and i think she finds the time together encouraging. we also met with the HIV womenin kibera yesterday. we shared tea and chapati with them. eric says that's a big deal b/c people often won't even eat with them because of the stigma against them.

alex's girlfriend, ruth from wales, has been staying with us.she has been in kenya and uganda for 10 months and is briefly going back to wales today. she brought her friend, we'll call her Stasi, from uganda to stay with us. stasi is an awesome cook and prepared matoke for us yesterday (smashed plantains). she is very quiet, humble, and helpful, and has an inspiring story of how she has overcome obstacles. she will be with us for a few more days. she also brought us homemade peanut butter, which i mistakenly thought was melted icecream at first b/c it was in an icecream container.

today was sort of a wash of a day. we went to the market to get shorts for the boys to wear tomorrow. there are people everywhere selling stuff and walking on top of each other and mounds of clothes everyone. most vendors specialize in one thing like sweaters, coats, shoes, etc. one vendor came right into my face loudly, laughing and said, "ha ha. mobile boutique." and tried to get me to try on this jacket. i started cracking up laughing. we then went to find the street boys. we found a few and took them for chips and talked with them. stasi took away their drugs and poured them in the trash can. we tried to take them to the park but alex said we couldn't b/c the police might come and take them away b/c they're not allowed to be there.

i haven't mentioned that nairobi feels mostly the same. i remember where things are and how to get around pretty well. there are a few new bridges and roads being built (often through funding from the Japanese and Chinese), but otherwise it's the same. there seems to be less open corruption with the policemen, which is encouraging. i haven't seen any officers bribing matatus for money. alex says it's less but still there, although more secretive. we went to my favorite slum restaurant for beans and chapati today, and alex asked the owner if he remembered me from 2 years ago. the guy said, you used to sit at that table over there, right? and yes, i did. i told him he has the best beans and chapati in nairobi and he laughed. as we left there, alex said, oh this used to be the most dangerous part of nairobi here. people were always getting shot here. and i said, how long ago was that. he said a few years ago. don't worry though, the boys are very protective of us. we call alex gramps b/c he wears this hat like grandpa back and it's more funny b/c his girlfriend's name is ruth.

singing in kibera

2011-07-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

after a long afternoon, i feel a bit better because ash, rachel, and i just walked out of kibera singing disney songs obnoxiously at the top of our lungs. people were turning around staring at us, some smiling, some puzzled. it felt good. we went to church this morning and then went to nakumatt supermarket to get groceries for our 4th of july party tomorrow. alex and popo invited about everyone they know, which is a lot of people and i'm not sure if we're going to all fit in our very small house. this afternoon we went to action group, which is a group of young people that meet in kibera to discuss various issues. today's talk was about relationships and working hard to make them work. like most meetings here, this really drug on and on, and us 3 girls were getting a little edgy sitting there for several hours. i had an afternoon like this yesterday where i sat at a youth for christ meeting in kibera with popo for almost 4 hours. we were supposed to participate in a dance practice but there was no electricity so they couldn't practice. instead i sat and listened to them practice skits and discuss things in swahili. i got really frustrated and exhausted b/c i didn't know i was going to be sitting there all that time. ash and rachel wisely decided not to go. but there really wasn't a way for me to leave b/c it was deep in kibera and i don't know my way out. i often feel powerless...i never know the time b/c i have no clock or watch (last week i thought it was 3:00 but it was actually 7:00), someone has to wake us up every morning, and i don't have my own key to the house, so i hav to go there with someone. but since i'm never alone i feel safer. people in kibera were commenting in swahili today about how we were wise mzungus b/c we weren't carrying any bags for people to steal. some of andrew's friends from the u.s were robbed at gun point a few weeks ago and they were carrying all sorts of electronics and computers through kibera. andrew felt bad b/c he didn't know they had all that expensive stuff with them. about the only thing i'm carrying through there is water and puppets, and i can't imagine why someone would want that.

anyway, things got better yesterday after being in kibera forever b/c we came back and played spoons and had a huge dance party. we are learning this dance from popo and his friend rodgers and ash and i are teaching them our dance and putting the 2 together.

yesterday we were at the juvenile. we talked about acceptance, friendship, and how to be a friend to others. perhaps a simple concept but not so much for them b/c they are all from diferent tribes and places. we also helped them with their chores and they thought it was crazy that i was ok with geting dirty, hoeing, and moving rocks.

friday we were with the street boys. they are so happy to see us, perhaps because we provide the only hugs and handshakes they get for the week. we talked to them about the effects of using drugs and helped them set some goals for how they'd like to get off the street and progress. it is encouraging b/c several of them have stopped using drugs. francis is one boy that i'm particularly fond of. he really wants to go to school. so alex and the rest of us are working on finding a place for the to live and a way to make this happen. this is very difficult b/c alex has to go find their families and get them to agree. most of them are on bad terms at home and cannot go back.. i have many thoughts about how great this could be for a few of them, but there's a lot that has to fall into place to make this work. please pray for god's favor and hand upon this situation. i do not think we can change everything but i hope that perhaps we can help give a chance at survival for a few boys. we gave them soap too, and alex promised that we'd take them swimming next week on 2 conditions: 1 they must be clean (and they're really dirty), and 2 they can't be on drugs. we'll see what happens. 2 dutch guys have been helping us out with this ministry too.

something funny: last week i put a knife in my backpack so that i could cut my mango at lunch. we had to go through the metal detectors at this building where we were eating ethiopian food, and the guards pat you down with wands. but it didn't even go off with my knife. alex coulnd't believe it and thought i was lying. he said, it's all about formalities with the security guards, because clearly they're not finding anything.

i'm off to decorate for our party. alex wants us to make american flags for the walls...yes, cheesy :)

washing babies

2011-06-29T09:47:00.000-07:00

before i begin, let me say that all the keys on this keyboard are sticking. it's challenging to get the shift key to work at all, so there will probably be a lot of typos in this post. anyway, today began with a visit to kibera. we went to see a group of women and men who are HIV +, and they gather together every wednesday to encourage each other. there is a huge stigma that comes with having HIV+, so many people never get tested at all let alone admit that they have the virus. therefore, i'm encouraged by the boldness of these people. one man there has lost his hearing, and so we must write everything down to him to communicate. we decided last week that it would be nice to cook a meal for these people when we come. the government provides free drugs to help combat the disease (not drugs that cure but rather just help strengthen the immune system). but most of these people are taking the drugs on an empty stomach, which is hard b/c the drugs are strong and make them very sick. so today we cooked rice and stew, with julius and ashley doing most of the cooking. rachel and i played jenga with everyone else while they cooked. this game continues to be a hit. one of the ladies took it really seriously and was determined to not let anyone knock over the tower. she got mad when people pulled out the wrong pieces. everyone was appreciative for the food when it was ready.

then we had to walk back out of kibera to head to town. jamhuri where we live is right next to kibera, yet getting into the interior of kibera is about an hour walk. it's hard to tell b/c of all the houses but kibera is actually very rocky and hilly. so it felt like we were on a hike this morning. it was good exercise. we dodged around trash and sewage the whole time and often i thought i would fall right into the muck until someone grabbed my hand at the last moment. there are random electrical wires running everywhere and alex is always telling us not to touch them. sometimes i can't tell what's an electric line and what's a clothesline. and b/c everyone is stealing the power by rigging up their own lines no one really cares about how much electricity they're using b/c it's free. so often the sun is shining brightly but they keep the lights on anyway. we have seen the artwork that's kept on the roofs of a few houses there. there are tarps with giant faces on them that you can see from a plane. gloria showed me a picture of this that was online before i left. the artwork has been up for a while so it's starting to fall apart now.

we went to hang with the street ladies afterwards. we decided to bathe their babies b/c they are a mess. the kids hated it probably because it is the first time they've ever been given a bath or at least it has only happened few times in their life. it was pretty crazy b/c we only had 2 basins of water abar of soap and i wash cloth. we were mostly just throwing water on them with their hands and they were wailing the whole time. we had a few blankets to wipe them off with and we tried washing out some of their clothes. people put insane amounts of layers on kids. like one boy i undressed had on a snow jump suit sort of thing and 2 sweaters. it was at least 75 degrees today, so clearly that's unnecessary. he was sweating badly underneath. we tried to tell the mom to not put so many layers on but she said it's cold at night and she's too tired to put clothes back on him then. so frustrating. this whole situation is depressing but somehow i separate that experience from the rest of my life and leave a lot of it there. perhaps that is bad, but that's the only way i can function. maybe i will cry about this months from now when i'm back in the states. but not now. the women used some of the extra water to wipe off their feet, and they seemed pleased. alex talked to them about what the drugs are doing to their babies, but i don't think they really get it. we have cracked down a little on not tolerating sniffing drugs while they're there. i even got brave enough to take away someone's rag today. doesn't matter though because she just got another one. i find these people very hard to love, even though i know that jesus does love them. i just feel so bad for the kids that it's difficult.

we came home tonight and judy, popo's sort of girlfriend, had cleaned our whole house. the living room was swept out and had been scrubbed, which was awesome b/c us three girls have been shedding everywhere. i made mzungu soup for dinner...hooray for comfort food.

Chocolate City

2011-06-28T05:45:00.000-07:00

Hello again. you're probably wondering why i haven't been writing that much. it seems that there's been a lot of black outs lately. we tried to go to the cyber last night but the power was out. fortunately in the middle of cooking dinner it came back on. we only have a few candles and flashlights and i'd say we've been using them every other day at least. fortunately, the power has been coming back on pretty quickly but since it gets dark around 6:30 not having power is a bit gloomy. one day the power was out because this huge electrical box that sits on the power lines fell into the street down the road from our house. nothing hit it...it just looks like it fell. which is not so comforting, seeing as any of them could just fall off any day. there were wires lying there in the street and some probably toxic liquid seeping out.

we just came back from kibera. alex has taken to calling it chocolate city because everything is brown...the dirt, the houses made of mud, etc. he goes around saying, "chocolate city; what a pity." we visited a school in kibera. i felt like i was in a cave b/c it was made of rocks and seemed underground, but it wasn't. it's on the side of a steep hill and it was really difficult climbing up there dodging around all the trash and some pigs too. the school is one of the poorest i've seen here. we fit all the kids in a small room to do a skit for them and then did some art projects and games outside. the headmaster fed us rolls and soda afterwards. i always feel so bad when people do this for us b/c i know they can't afford it. but yet it's so offensive to them not to eat it. they tried to feed us porridge when we got there but we insisted over and over that we'd just had breakfast. the pitcher that the porridge was in looked so dirty that i was just praying we didn't have to eat that. even i have limits. we did eat with alex at this slum restaurant today though. we had probably the best pilau i've ever had here (rice with ginger, meat, tomatoes and onions and cucumbers on top).

it's been raining a lot so it was a muddy mess there. twice this week we were caught coming home in the rain and all our clothes and belongings were soaked. it's hard to tell in the morning that it's going to rain. it just suddenly happens. our house is wet too. we had to switch bedrooms because our room was so damp. the ceiling had absorbed so much moisture that it was getting ready to drop water droplets on us. everything in that room stays damp. i left my passport in a drawer for a few days and pulled it out to find it looking funny. all the pages were bent apart from water. it's fine, though, still usable definitely but i put it back in my suitcase. even the floor in our room gets a little damp at night. does cement not dry out well? our whole building is made of cement. they are adding 2 floors of apartments right on top of us. that seems to be the trend when they need more room. and by the way, i totally retract the statement i made about hot water. i had a warmish shower once, and the rest the time it has been cold. so i've taken to not washing my hair everyday. the water does work though, which is a miracle. the toilet flushes about 1 out of 3 times (it's constantly leaking in back, maybe that's the problem) but the sink water always works. only once has the water gone off.

yesterday was the craziest day we've had here so far. it started on our way to town. we had a crazy bus driver who nearly hit a matatu head on (ashley says we're always playing chicken with other cars.) but it got worse in town. he cut another car off going into the roundabout and we sandwiched a motorcyclist in between us and a matatu. i think the only thing that saved the cyclist from being hit was the small metal box on his bike that hit the bus first. we heard slamming breaks and yelling people and looked back to see the cyclist very scared. there are stickers on the buses with numbers to call to report reckless driving but alex says it doesn't do much good.

when we finally got to town we went to minister to street women. this experience was probably the hardest thing i've ever done. the women were all on drugs again and feeding their babies. we were holding the babies and one of them couldn't even latch onto my finger when i stuck it out (a normal reaction, right?) and even it's eyes didn't seem to follow what was going on. he was totally emotionless. we think he had poop or something else gross on his back. and the women let all the kids pee their pants and i guess eventually change them later. they don't have diapers. the same baby boy vomited all over the church floor later. it was all i could do to not puke as well as i thought about the whole situation. the smell of urine, vomit, and drugs was over powering. i think maybe that kid is sick from the drugs that the mother is taking. we decided to paint the finger nails of the ladies. we did a skit about love and talked about showing love for others. we brought baby wipes to clean their hands and nails. we filed and painted them. we used up all the baby wipes in the process. i've done this for people in america, and it was a much more enjoyable experience. these ladies didn't seem that grateful really. they kept making demands, like paint my baby's nails too, or i want this color, not that one, and next time you bring us chicken to eat. i know that it's easy to be taken advantage of but i think God wants us to continue loving them anyway. we know that we can't bring them diapers or chicken or new clothes b/c they will probably sell them for drugs. but we can try to keep loving them and teaching about the freedom they could have through Christ. we're going to wash the babies tomorrow, and i'm glad that the first thing alex insisted was that we wear gloves...important, yes!

yesterday afternoon we our skit and program at rhema house. on the way back to town the matatu decided he didn't feel like taking us all the way to town, probably because there was too much traffic.so he dropped us at some random place and we had to walk to town. as we walked, we passed dozens of street vendors with tarps of clothing and shoes. i was commenting on it being like a giant yard sale when suddenly people started running in every direction. it looked like an ant hill with ants moving all over the place, and i was caught in the middle. i had no idea what was going on, so my first instinct was to run like everyone else was. i guessed that someone had a gun. but then alex grabbed me and said just stand still. so i stood there panicking while people were running into me and around me. finally it died down and i learned that the problem was that street counselors (like policemen) were around and that the vendors had no permits. so they packed up their goods and took off to avoid being fined. and people started running in the process. alex thought my reaction was hilarious. he kept laughing and laughing. he said one time that happened to him when he was looking at a shirt to buy. the vendor took off and left him with the shirt, so he got it for free. jane said once she was left with one shoe.

while all this traffic and running is chaotic, i'm enjoying my kenyan experience much better this time. alex and popo keep things much more light hearted and we have fun hanging out at night. we dance a lot and play games at night. the food is better to me too. probably because we make sure to have fruit more often and we've had lots of different things so i'm not tired of anything yet. we're eating a million carbs again though. when i first arrived popo told me that i'd increased (meaning gained weight). but i had to explain that it was because my jacket pockets were full of my camera, money, etc. indeed with all that stuff in there i look pretty huge. it's also honest to say i look ridiculous. we still have no mirror (just a small shard that we've been using), so my hair is a mess, my clothes don't match, and i'm covered in dirt.

saturday we went to juvenile. there are actually several kids there that i remember from last time. i love being there. after our skit and lesson the boys showed us around the place. they've started lots of great new programs where they teach the boys various skills. some are learning masonry work. my favorite part was this huge room where they make pottery. it was covered with huge pots that they're going to sell in mombassa. they've created their own kiln outside by stacking up old pots and mud and creating almost a hut with a fire inside. they say that they leave the pottery in there to fire for 3 days. one boy, anthony, has made all these sweet sculptures of people and animals. i hope that i can pay him to make me something. they were so proud to show us their creations. and they seem more obsessed with mzungus than last time. they were hanging all over us and everyone wanted to hold our hands.

sunday we went to lamuru girls school an hour outside of nairobi. no one new how to get there so we got pretty lost and went in a big circle. we finally arrived and did a sunday school with young kids. afterwards we went in a huge assembly hall for the church service. there were over 1000 girls singing, and it was beautiful. popo and his dance team performed and rachel gave her tesitmony. popo also made us stand up and "freestyle" dance in the background for 1 song. let's just say we looked ridiculous. his friend, james, gave the message to the girls. he's a great storyteller and talked about christ waiting for us, welcoming us to him. he intertwined this with a story about, Rita, this girl he likes. it was funny and the girls were all cracking up.

also today in kibera, i was so surprised to find the Victorious Youth Center. It's a art center place where necklaces are created to be sold in shops and markets in nairobi. i was surprised b/c this place is in the youtube video that i randomly found and showed my class at school when we were learning about kenya. even the people in the video are the same as the ones we met today. and now i can say i've been there. we bought some goods from them b/c that only seems fair after being given a tour around the place.

Unwelcome, unwanted guest

2011-06-24T03:01:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned that our Kenyan friends and hosts are eager to please? Yes, they're willing to do just about anything to accomodate us. Unfortunately, they don't always know when we're joking. On Wednesday Ashley made some comment about how the house was so nice that all we need to make it more like home is a cat. She then said that she was kidding and Rachel made some comment about being allergic to cats. I guess popo missed hearing those parts because when we came home on Wednesday night he carried in a box and said he had a surprise for us. Inside were 2 cats meowing insanely loudly and obnoxiously. yes 2 cats. and not just any cats, but slum cats from kibera who were so little that they wouldn't even drink any water. ash tried to make a bottle by punching a hole in the top of a water bottle and dropping water into their mouths but it didn't work. and although it was kind of funny i immediately insisted that we had to get rid of them. for one, they weren't litter box trained and were going to pee all over the mattresses that are all over our house. and 2 rachel is allergic. and 3 they wouldn't stop meowing. they were so loud that popo recorded them on his phone as his ringtone. we were at this children's home yesterday and his phone rang and the director started looking around the house because she thought a cat had come in. anyway, popo took them right back to kibera the same day and we all had a good laugh.
we've been staying busy with many activities. yesterday we went to juvenile, to the intake center where the boys come for 3 months. we did a skit about the good samaritan. i was the man who gets beaten up on the road to jericho. we've done this skit 4 times now, and we have some funny pics of people "kicking me." we split the kids up to talk about ways they can be good samaritans. the juvenile boys are really well behaved compared to last time. there's only about 50 of them, and they were listening so well. ash taught them sharks and minnows, and it's their new favorite game.
in the afternoon we traveled to dandora to find this children's home called rhema house. i learned about this place through Brent at Small world connections. there are about 15 kids there i think, but many of them were still in school. we did the same skit and met the director. we are going to try adding this place to our schedule. it's in a very simple building and they don't have much. but the director feels called to help these kids. the hardest part about going there is that it's far outside the city. and yesterday the exhaust fumes were really getting to ash, rachel, and i. it's one of the worst days in terms of fumes that i remember, even from last time. our noses are full of black snot from all the exhaust.
we've also spent time with 2 other outreaches involving street women and boys. these are completely new experiences for me, since i didn't do this last time. wednesday we met with the street women. it's crazy because the whole time they were sniffing "glue" (that's what they call it but it's actually something more like turpentine). they pour it on a rag and hold it up to their mouth and sniff it that way. so they all smell like chemicals, and most of them were high the whole time we were together. they were breast feeding their babies at the same time, which is pretty disturbing. alex said they use their babies to get money from people and they spend 200-300 shillings everyday buying "glue." that's a lot considering most people don't even make that much money a day. anyway, we did the good samaritan thing with them too and had a discussion. they started getting very mad at alex when he said something about them using drugs. everyone was yelling in swahili, and we were trying to figure out what was going on. some of them kept insisting on us getting them shoes b/c their shoes are all torn and ripped. alex said even if we bought them shoes they would sell them to have drug money. he said that him and the pastor helping to run this ministry agreed that they wouldn't buy anyone shoes unless they'd stopped using drugs. we did feed them lunch though.
our time with the street boys today was sort of similar except alex made them give up their glue rags. he kept throwing the rags on the roof of the building...we were sort of on this terrace between 2 buildings, 3 stories up in a building downtown nairobi. the boys instantly loved seeing 3 mzungu girls and were hanging all over us smiling. 2 dutch men came along too. they are in kenya adopting kids. you have to stay w/ the kids for at least 6 months before the government lets you take them home. anyway, the street boys are pitiful, but i liked being there. they are covered in dirt. their clothes are so dirty you can barely tell what color they used to be. the dutch men provided money to feed them lunch, ugali and beans. they were gulping it down.

we've been having good food prepared for us. julius is staying with us and gets up early to make tea for us. ash is already sick of white bread. we eat it for breakfast and lunch with jelly and butter. we made mzungu spaghetti last night and it was really good. we've been teaching our friends all kinds of new games. our house feels like a youth hostel b/c there's different people staying there every night. most nights alex, popo, and julius are there. but last night Tall, a friend of Alex's, stayed too. other people like eric and steve come and hang out and eat w/ us when they have time or aren't in school. we're all having trouble sleeping through the night. we have bad jet lag. last night i woke up and thought it was morning (this happens every night so far b/c there's a light outside my window that i think is the sun.) anyway, i woke up and heard popo on the phone and said, "oh, good i slept through the night." and ashley and rachel both instantly said, no silly it's night time, popo's just being ridiculous. 2 nights ago i woke up and went out to the living room where he sleeps. he was up and eating, so i thought i was morning, but it was only 2:30 a.m. we don't have watches or a clock so i never know what time it is or the day for that matter. i might have to buy one b/c this morning we were an hour late meeting the dutch guys because we weren't woken up in time, and i have no alarm clock. we are also mirror fasting. there isn't one in the house, or anywhere we go for that matter. it's kind of nice not worrying how we look, but ash says we need to go get one today. they're only 60 shillings in kibera (less than a dollar). our bedroom is sweating. as in it's very moist for some wierd reason. the ceiling gets damp every night. alex says it's because they're doing construction on top of us. the toilet and the sink leaks too...TIA. so there is just water everywhere all over the bathroom. but we don't seem to mind too much. everyone is pretty chill about it.

we've been "scrambling" to get into buses, as alex calls it. everyone runs toward the bus at once shoving each other. sometimes i think that we won't all make it on the same bus, because there's about 6 of us traveling together, and it's easy to get separated. but we always do, and everyone knows the route back to our house now, so i think it's fine.

i'm feeling really blessed to be experiencing everything with my sister and friend. i don't think i could do this again by myself. some days are hard, but we have devotions every morning and pray that God would give us strength to go through each day and would use us to tell others about him. please continue praying for our strength, health, and purpose. also, special prayers that we would sleep through the night and get good rest. Asante sana. we're off for a relaxing afternoon of swimming. and don't worry, the pool has chlorine:)

Arrival, marriage proposals, and jenga

2011-06-21T05:19:00.000-07:00

we have officially arrived. after 3 planes and 27 hours of flying and layovers, we finally arrived this morning at 5 a.m. By the time we made it through the long bathroom line, the visa line, and claimed our baggage, it was almost 6:30. Alex, Popo, Steve, and Victor were all there waiting to pick us up (they arrived at 5 a.m....definitely on American time, and didn't sleep much the night before because they were excited). I started screaming and running towards them when i saw them. i must say i have so much peace about everything right now. I started having moments on the plane where I was questioning things and wondering if it was all going to work out, but it has beautifully so far. I really like the house where we're staying. it's in a suburb called Jamhuri, which is right next to Kibera (biggest slum in East Africa in case you don't know). We can actually walk right to Kibera, which is a huge improvement over last time. The house is small but painted bright blue and green colors. Pretty much everything except the kitchen and bathroom is covered in mattresses. Mattresses in the bedrooms and in the living room; and by the way they're not the comfy American ones, but rather simple thin foam ones which is precisely what i expected. we have no furniture except a t.v. and a broken trunk that popo stepped on during a dance party last week, but We have hot water!!! yes, you heard me right. The bathroom is just one floor for the shower and for the rest of the room, so the floor will probably be all wet most of the time, but i don't care. at least the water is running. truly i'm blessed. After the boys picked us up, we returned to the house and put things away. there is a very SMALL closet that we were able to put most things in. we have to prop the mattresses against the wall during the day so we can walk around the room because it's so tiny. Then julius made us tea and triple layer bread and butter sandwiches. As always, Popo and Alex are hilarious! i couldn't stop laughing at their funny jokes all morning. Alex led us in a short devotional about not worrying, trusting God, and being joyful. he said something about no matter if they have food or no food, house or no house, they are always trying to be joyful. i can see it shining through everything they are doing. i can tell Alex has really grown in his faith since i last saw him. he is so passionate about serving. he walked us through the whole week's schedule and we even wrote it down! i'm impressed. and they are doing a good job watching out for us wherever we go. alex led us on a short tour around Nairobi since Ash has never been here and Rachel only briefly. I feel like they are doing a million times better at having things organized and watching out for us then the last organization i was with. I truly feel so blessed right now and that this is exactly where i'm supposed to be. i love these people and can't wait to spend the summer with them.

we had a dance party in the living room to kenyan music and ash and i did this partner dance that we still remember from our days together on Dancz Catz and Dance Energy. popo thought it was really great. then we pulled out the Jenga game. OH my goodness...this was the best thing ever to bring along. we pulled it out of the suitcase in the airport in ghana during our layover. all these ghanians gathered around to watch. everyone was fascinated by this concentration game the white girls were playing. we ended up getting several people to join in and play. i know that this is a simple basic game, but people here really like it. one of the ghanians who joined us was phillip. we briefly talked with him before he asked if i'd like to marry him :) seriously, less than 3 hours in the african continent and i was already getting proposed to. after politely declining he really wouldn't steer away from the discussion. he said, "Why not?" and i explained that i didn't even know him. He said it only takes 1 day to get to know someone and decided, but i said, no in my country it takes many days. we eventually moved on and offered everyone some of my homemade cookies i brought. everyone was excited to try them, but i don't think anyone liked them. they kept saying, "Oh, it's soooo sweet. so much sugar."

Besides those fun times in the airport, the ghana experience was quite funny. apparently, no one knows what to do with people who are on connecting flights. there is no set system. we had to get in line w/ all the people who were actually staying in ghana in the same immigration line even though we had no visa and weren't declaring anything. we kept hearing different stories about whether or not we should fill out the customs form--yes, no, yes, etc. the immigration guy let us go through no problem, but we still didn't know where to go. luggage was sitting everywhere, and we spotted ours, which was wierd since it was supposed to go through all the way to nairobi. workers started pulling connecting flight luggage aside and scanning it (don't they normally pull off the connecting flight luggage before sending it on the baggage cart conveyer belt? someone told us to collect our luggage and check it back in; someone else told us to leave it there (that's what we did). there were no signs for connecting flights. all the white people seemed to be walking right past the declaration stage of customs (which was the next stop). it seemed that it was optional if you wanted to tell them what you were bringing in. several people helped us navigate out of the airport. we had to actually completely walk out of the airport, turn left, and go up some steps, before we were at the entrance of the airport and could walk back in and then we still couldn't check in yet. i'm pretty sure that even though we had no visa that we could have easily left the airport in a taxi without getting into any sort of trouble...just to have lunch or something. but we had too much carry on luggage to drag around and i didn't want to go outside too much since the risk of malaria is greater there and i'm not taking malaria medicine since nairobi is low risk. this is one of the smallest airports ever. kenya airways shares a desk with other airlines, and they just change the signs based on when flights are leaving and people need to check in. there are only 5 gates total, and all of the planes require that you load from outside on the tarmac after getting dumped off by a bus. so the 7 hours we were there were pretty long because there was only a short stretch to walk back and forth. i tried walking around other places but kept getting yelled at that i couldn't go there. ashley correctly pointed out that all the people working in the airport (the people who ended up playing jenga with us) were just hanging out. true, there wasn't much for them to do. they were mostly on cleaning crew, but it seemed over staffed to say the least. phillip told us he takes a 3 hour bus ride one way to get to work every morning. that means he has a 6 hour commute in total!

also, plastic wrap is the latest trend for luggage apparently. people were paying to have their luggage saran wrapped in ghana. and let me tell you, they put a lot of bright blue saran wrap on, around and around (there is a special machine for it). phillip said it kept people from opening the bags and stealing things. i hope it doesn't prevent the transportation department from checking for dangerous things too :)

1 week to go

2011-06-12T20:57:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving in 1 week....wait, what? Is that true? I've been talking about going back to Kenya for so long that it's a little surreal that it's actually happening. I've known for the entire last year that I was going, and now June has finally arrived. One would think with all this time to prepare that I would be ready. And in some sense, I suppose that I am. I'm ready to see Popo, Alex, Jane, Sally, and Victor. I'm ready to hang out with kids again and teach them about the Lord. I'm ready to learn Swahili songs and funny games. I'm so ready to hear Popo's laugh and the way that he says, "Oh, hallelujah."

But in so many other senses, I'm not really ready. I have 4 days of school left and other random things going on that are juggling for my attention. My room is a hodge podge of junk that I'm bringing with me or deciding whether or not to bring with me, and I want to just stuff it all in the suitcase and be done thinking about it. I know that this summer is going to be a time of re-learning how to be flexible. I know I have been a lot more rigid than I want to be lately, and I also know that's about to be stripped away (or if not I'll be miserable). Tonight was the first true test of flexibility. I got an email from Alex, who is arranging our living accomodations. He's already thrown a house warming party at the apartment we're renting, so apparently it must be nice since everyone came over to enjoy it. This part is all fine and well.

The slight adjustment in plan is that we're not able to rent the apartment from the middle of june to the middle of august as we'd hoped. instead we had to rent from the beginning of june to the end of july (which is pretty normal as far as rental situations go). so we are homeless for 2 weeks in august...ok not really, but sort of. so alex's plan is that we go to western provence for 1 week to treat people with jiggers (a type of flea that infests people's feet, causes infections, pain, and impairs their ability to walk) and do children's ministry there. and for the second week of august we'll go to mombasa and stay with his friend from alaska (yes he knows lots of people) and do some sort of minsitry there. i actually love the villages and mombasa is great, so this could be a nice change of plans. i was joking with regina that i'm excited to go to mombasa because I can retake pictures this time. last time i got mugged there and my camera was stolen so all my pictures were gone. so yes, i'll be flexible and this will all work out i'm sure.

the only part that makes me nervous is that mombasa is so much more hot and humid that it is a higher risk area for malaria, so i'll definitely need to take the malaria medicine before i go. I hadn't planned to take any medicine at all because of the entire fiasco with the drugs last time. many of you know that i was super sick from all the medicine. nairobi has a very low risk of malaria because of the higher altitude and cooler temps at night, and the doctor i saw in nairobi who specialized in tropical medicine said i shouldn't take anything in nairobi. and i didn't the entire last 2 1/2 months i was there. but now it looks like i'll have to take something for atleast the last 3-4 weeks. so i guess what i'm saying is please pray that i don't get sick and experience all those side effects again. i just don't think i have it in me. and pray for rachel as she's figuring out what to do. she also had bad side effects to her malaria medicine again, and she was going to take mefloquin this time until i begged her not to. Mefloquin is CRAZY! that's my soap box statement for the day.

Please pray for safe travels next week, for healthy bodies, for a peaceful week, for open hearts to serve, for positive spirits, and for the love of Christ to pour out from us. Stay tuned for more stories from Nairobi soon.

Kenyan moments here at home

2011-05-26T19:56:00.000-07:00

It's been pretty sweet lately because I've had several opportunities to hang out with Kenyans or "almost" Kenyans. A few weeks ago I went to a graduation party in South Bend for a Kenyan who just graduated from college. I was 1 of 3 non-Kenyans there, which I rather liked. The day definitely ran on Kenyan time. We arrived in South Bend and had some leisure time sitting around chatting, eating nyoma choma, and drinking tea before going to the party. Dinner was about an hour behind schedule and people continued arriving two-three hours after everything had already started. TIA...wait...no, this is America. But all the same, it made me laugh and I felt super relaxed not having to adhere to any sort of schedule. I ate every Kenyan food imaginable: sakuma wiki, samosa, irio, chapati, rice, etc. It was a wonderful sneak peak at what's to come.

Additionally, I was able to meet up with an American family who lived for about 15 years in Kenya doing mission work before moving to Malawi for another 13 years where they are presently living. They were back in the States for a visit with their son, Chad, who grew up in Kenya but lives here now. There were about 12 of us that sat down around a huge table for dinner, passing around chapati, ugali, githeri, sakuma wiki, stew, chai, and other vegetables. Everyone spoke Swahili throughout the entire meal, except me and Sue (Chad's wife). I was able to pick up a word here or there but was reminded of the severe disadvanatge I have not knowing the language and realizing how much I miss out on. I know this is a huge frustration for Sue too. She likes that her husband gets to practice his Swahili so that he doesn't forget, but it's hard being the outsider that only knows part of what is going on. But in any case I liked that we were all huddled in this house together in Indiana but that it felt like we were somewhere completely different. After dinner I helped Sue with dishes, which was a wonderful opportunity to get to know her. One of the first things she said to me was, "I read your book, and I totally get it." That was really encouraging to hear because a lot of people tell me they really like what I wrote, but I don't think everyone can completely relate to it. Sue, on the other hand, had the opportunity to go to Malawi a few years ago, and she understands the culture shock I experienced and how difficult it is to merge these 2 different worlds together. She told me she read the book out loud to her husband during a road trip so that he could better understand an outsider's initial perceptions to Africa. It's comforting to know that other people truly understand me.

People have been asking me if I'm excited about going. I am definitely excited to see people. I miss Popo and Alex and Victor and Jane so much. I really care about my friends there. But I know that there are a lot of emotional struggles that will come with being there and questions that I will wrestle with concerning the poverty/corruption/lack of jobs, etc. But I'm staying positive and am truly grateful that my sister and Rachel will be there with me and we can process our experiences together. Please be praying for us as we're preparing to go. I'm a dork, and so I actually started a little packing today...just sorting through things and putting clothes in the suitcase. i know I'm jumping the gun a little hear, but there's lots of things coming up in the next few weeks, so I figure it's ok to be a little ahead of the game. Anyway, pray for our health...that we would not be sick and would have an easy adjustment to the food and water. Pray that our time there would be purposeful and we would be flexible and go where God leads us. Pray for unity and teamwork amongst the people we'll be working with, and pray for our safety. Asante sana

Lala salama (good night). I'm off to sleep.

Disheartening News

2011-04-20T20:45:00.000-07:00

Today I was on my lunch break when I learned the news of the controversy surrounding Greg Mortenson and his book Three Cups of Tea.
It crushed me.
In case you haven't heard, there was a 60 Minutes episode, which aired this past Sunday, that raised questions about the facts in his book. It is believed that he embellished many details, exaggerated the number of schools that were built, and has used questionably used money raised towards operating his non-profit, Central Asia Institute. Allegedly more money has been spent domestically in the U.S. talking about raising money for these schools than what has been spent internationally in actually doing the work. From what I've been reading, it sounds like he did build schools in Pakistan and some of them are doing well. But others are closed or being used for storage. I find this whole incident to be completely disheartening, especially knowing how popular Mortenson's book has become. I know it's becoming a popular choice of required reads for many freshman college courses. How disappointing it is that someone who has been an inspiration to so many is perhaps not to be trusted. While I did thoroughly enjoy the book, I did wonder as I was reading what kind of accountability and follow through was being given to the schools that had been built. After all, it is great to build a school but not all that beneficial unless learning is actually happening inside the schools. And I'm sure there is great things happening in some of those places...but perhaps being honest about what maybe isn't working out inside the other schools would be good to know too. This situation reminds me a little of what was happening at Blue House in Kenya: American donors were handing out money to support the school, but the teachers were not even being paid.

It shouldn't be this way--we shouldn't be afraid to donate money to a seemingly reputable organization. We shouldn't be afraid to help people. I want to believe that we can be honest enough to prevent some of these problems. Giving kids an education should not be so difficult, should it? But I suppose that even trustworthiness is not a fix all. There are so many external factors involved that can lead to problems too. I think about the money that was used to send 2 of my Kenyan friends to school. Neither of them have found a steady job even after finishing their education, and honestly I wonder how they are able to survive. I know that they are talented people, but that finding employment in Kenya is difficult. I play this wrestling match in my mind about whether or not it was worth it to send them to school in the first place. Did that money go to good use? Could it have been used in a better way? Am I making wise decisions? But then I think about my college education and the things I've learned...so much valuable knowledge and insight...and yet much of this knowledge doesn't directly relate to making me good at teaching. Yet I know it has molded my thoughts and views and has helped shape the person I am today. Many people have the same argument about art class--that it's irrelevant and unimportant. But where would our creative thinkers be without it? Without an art class, what would happen to the self-confidence of the artistically talented student who struggles academically?

I have to believe that education is important and that it can promote change and understanding. I have to believe that it's okay and good to assist in sending Kenyans to college when they desperately want to go. I have to believe these things, or I will lose hope. But mostly, I have to believe that God is bigger than all these questions and worries, that He will provide, and that we can trust Him.

Reflections on Others' Thoughts

2011-04-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

I'm realizing as I'm sitting here typing that it's almost exactly 2 months before we'll be leaving for Kenya. People have started to ask me if I'm getting excited, and yes, I guess that I am a little bit. Mostly I'm trying to enjoy and make the most of the moments that are here in front of me now. There's much that will happen before June and I want to appreciate the present.

I've had the privilege to hear about other people's experiences abroad twice recently. Tonight I went to hear a girl named Ashley speak about her mission trip to Haiti. Haiti is of course completely different from Kenya, but I'm struck by the similarities between Ashley's experience and mine. She read an entry from her journal about how the Haitians must completely rely on God because of their lack of material possesions and about how our money often intereferes with our ability to trust God. I basically wrote the same thing about Kenya in my book, just in different words. It is comforting to hear others drawing the same conclusions that I did and know that someone can fully relate to what I'm talking about.

A few weeks ago I went to a dinner at VU that was supporting a school building project in Tanzania. I was mostly excited about the event because it meant that I'd get to eat some sweet East African food. And of course, I would never turn down an opportunity to have chapati. What I didn't know was that the chapati would turn out to be pretty bad (I didn't think you could mess it up, but mass production by American caterers equals something only reminiscent of my beloved favorite food of Kenya)...but I got to hear a wonderful talk by a VU professor, which was exactly what I needed to hear (more than I needed to eat chapati). This professor grew up in Ethiopia as a missionary kid. He began by saying that people who visit Africa often tend to keep coming back over and over again, which made me laugh to myself. He talked about whether or not volunteering abroad is worthwhile and productive. He discussed the historic view held by anthropologists that culture is rather permanent and not to be altered. But he gave stories of how cultures have adapted and changed and that culture is rather dyanmic and not stagnant. Therefore, his conclusion was that volunteering abroad can be good and fine if it is done in the right way through seeking out the needs of locals and empowering them.

He told a story about a group of people who went to some country in Africa with the intention of building a school or a hospital. when they arrived they asked the locals what the needs were of the community and what they could do to help them. The locals went away for a day to discuss this question amongst themselves. When the locals went back to the Americans, they said...we would like a soccer field for our community. Of course the Americans were very taken aback by this answer (they wanted to build schools and hospitals...not soccer fields). But someone had the wisdom to ask why they needed this field, to which the locals replied that their youth had nothing to do to occupy their time and keep them out of trouble. the soccer field would be a way to bring the entire community together and to help the youth make positive choices. Amazing, right? It's funny how we can think we totally know what's best for someone when we really have no idea. This story reminds me of a similar scenario in Greg Mortenson's, Three Cups of Tea. He wanted to help build schools in Pakistan, but first he had to build a bridge for the community because travel was nearly impossible.

But back to the professor...he emphasized that people should pick a country and stick with it...meaning keep coming back to the same place to pour into the same people and build into those relationships. This is exactly my reason for wanting to go back to Kenya. I think it's also the harder option than just going to various different places for short amounts of time. When you stick around longer you start realizing the depth of the problems plaguing that society and this can be an overwhelming feeling. Yet, understanding a place better is essential to knowing how to more effectively serve people.

Speaking of books, another great book that I just finished is Little Princes by Conor Grennan. I can't recommend this book enough. I read the entire 280 pages in about 3 1/2 days. I love the honesty and humility with which Grennan writes about his experiences in Nepal and about starting a children's home there. Read it...you'll be inspired!

Art Show in Iowa

2011-02-02T09:27:00.000-08:00

Hello friends...it has been almost 2 years since I've posted anything on my blog, which means soon it will be the 2 year anniversary of when I returned from Kenya. It doesn't really seem that long ago to me because the memories from my time there are still so fresh in my mind. I haven't forgotten about the friends I've made there, the kids I've met, and the hardships I've seen. No, Kenya still brings out the passionate side of me. And so, that's why I've decided to go back this summer. I'll be staying with a different team of people this time, but I'll be doing similar types of ministry activities as last time. I'm also going with people this time, too. My friend Micah introduced me to a girl named Rachel. Rachel was in Kenya last March. Although she wasn't there very long, she greatly desires to go back and experience more of this wonderful place and serve others there. My sister, Ashley, will also be accompanying us for part of the time. This weekend I traveled to Iowa to see Rachel and to have an art show to benefit our trip. Rachel and I discovered we have many things in common even though we don't know each other that well yet. First, she's an art education major like me, we've both been RA's, and she drives a Ford Taurus just like the one I used to have. And of course, we both love Kenya. Anyway, here are some snaps (that's what they call photos in Kenya) from our time this weekend. By the way, I also just wrote a book about my time in Kenya called Encounters in Kenya: My Spiritual Journey Through Nairobi. I'm finishing up the logistics of getting an ISBN number, and I just had it coprighted on Sunday. If you'd like to purchase a copy, let me know. Any proceeds that I make are going to go directly back to Kenya to help pay for student's high school or college education or any other worthwhile causes that I encounter.

Micah and Rachel making burritos the night before the art show.

Me and Rachel....the Kenyans will think we're sisters, don't you think?

We love that Micah is tall because he was able to hang everything, and we didn't need a ladder.

Art for Africa: Here's work from our art show

T-shirts that Micah and Harry screenprinted for us...anyone one want one? We have lots left.

How much should it cost? That was the question we kept asking each other. We're both very indecisive about pricing, so we could never decide.

Isn't this lamp sweet? There were several of them hanging up in the venue where we had our show.

Rachel's sweet ceramic vase

i'm home

2009-02-16T05:33:00.000-08:00

first, here's some clips of what i wrote in my journal during my time in the airport:

is this really for real? that i'm sitting in an airport about to go home for the first time since June? ti's so crazy b/c i felt this day would never come, and yet here it is, having come so quickly. and suddnly i have this new feeling of not wanting to go back. of knowing how difficult it's going to be. i think i'll always wish i could fuse together various places, times, and people that i've encountered. i'm alway stuck in the middle of these separate wrlds. i haven't been emotional much until the evening was winding down. the entire day was just a blur--another walk in kibera, another visit at popo's, another day of art at BOLM and me frustrated rying to cram so many people in 1 room. somewhere after all this i started to get sad. maybe it was Dottie giving me her old pink skirt as a thank you (i had told her a few weeks ago i liked it) and me knowing she hardly has anything. or maybe it was all the thank you notes and hugs and sappiness. and the anxiety overy leaving and wondering if my bags were too heavy or if i'd get stopped at immigration. but God is good and faithful and there were no problems (i scoped out the immigration people ahead of time and looked for the smiling ones).

these americans are sitting here whining about having their crochet needles taken (read the website people). why are americans always the loud, obnoxious ones?

ways my life will change tomorrow:
today i ride in a mat. tomorrow a car
today i eat only carbs. let the fruit/veggies begin tomorrow
today i'm hiding money undr my clothes. tomorrow i can safely carry a pure.

feb. 14 london, heathrow airport
it's quite an overwhelming odd expereince sitting here people watching at startbucks, where I just spent $7 on chair and a muffin, which is hard for me to fathom b/c i could have spent the same and bought a large meal for 3 people in nairobi. the 1st thing you notice is the overwhleming sense of fashion pervading life here. i've never seen an airport with so many perfume stores and expensive clothing shops. everyone's wearing a peacoat except for me here in my Jesus sandls that barely fit after my feet swelled like a pregnant woman during that flight. i scared the man next to me half to death trying to jump over him unsuccessfully on my way to the toilet. (i didn't want to wake him up).

i've forgotten how fast fast foo dis. it's funny watching people run through the terminal after never having to worry about being late. with my hair plaited and this loud, floral shirt, i stick out like well. the only slight cultural redeeming quality is my purse from Melissa (from target and from this season and similar to what everyone is carrying around here) and the fact that i'm wearing blac. my head is starting to spin and i feel off balance from lack of sleep and al this traveling. i have to laugh at all the Ugg boots and LL Bean bags--the dressing to impress. the BA customer service woman was complimenting about my hair and where i traveled from.

tara says she likes the long journey back home, that it gives her time to reflect, adjust, and prepare for what's next. i don't think i like it. it's too prolonged of a period waiting full of anticipation but of not knowing what to expect, which I suppose leads to anxiety. anxiety of waiting and wondering if i'm going to get through immigration w/o problems.

it's a short term limbo that feels much longer than it actually is. limbo b/c you look back at the people you've left behind wi fond memories and sadness at being removed from their lives and looking ahead to the people at home which are part of your past and yet they will again shape your future. it's like a time machine--you've been taken forward into this new life and now you're jolted back to the old, expected to pick up somewhere where you left off. in this limbo your body doesn't relly know which way it wants to go. there are gravatational pulls on both sides, leaving you confused and exhausted. combine all these forces with jet lag and your body becomes a swirling mess of dizziness and confusion.

i suppose an instant jolt form 1 culture to the next would be too drastic of a change and cause more problems. so despite the exhaustion of the limbo, at least it gives you time for reality to sink in that life is about to drastically change. at least the airport provides the beginning platform for culture shock--the materialism, consumerism, before you walk out the doors to "actual life."

chicago airport:
the one thing americans do slower are phone conversations--on and on, just like in person, with no worries about running out of minutes.

my hair is opening so many doors for conversations with african americans. they all keep stopping me on the way through security and while walking around the airport. "she did good girl. it even looks like your hair." i like this.

feb. 16, today right now:
i had a nice welcoming in the airport: mom, dad, ashley, andrea, judy, jeff, kristen, nedra, jeff, brooke, matt, ryan. they were all holding big signs, blowing bubbles, and yelling. i started running up the terminal when i saw them and all the security guards were turning around wondering what was going on. my face hurt from smiling so much in that first 5 minute.

i have been pigging out like it's thanksgiving or christmas. seriously, not joking. i came home and ate lots of fruits an vegetables that mom had ready. on the plane it was funny b/c they brought us chicken and pasta and salad and i loved it even if was like eating cafeteria food. i've never been so excited to eat plane food.

i've already changed from how i was in kenya b/c i havent' been shaking people's hands like you do there. i guess i've been giving lots of hugs though. there's been several comments by people now who thought that i'd come back really skinny. i had to explain that no, most africans are not super skinny. and lots of people thought i lived in a hut or something? come on now.

being home is fine. but i suspect after the celebrity feeling rubs off in a few weeks that reality is going to set in. the reality of not having job and being clueless about what's next for me in life. i pray that God will open doors and give me wisdom about where i am being called next.

my last night

2009-02-12T13:49:00.000-08:00

so tonight is my last night here. somehow i've managed to still stay awake, even though it's past 1 a.m. melissa, lauren, and i were up making buckeyes for the kids at BOLM tomorrow. they had a little party for me in the office today. lots of people came and said all sorts of nice things and we had some snacks and juice. they gave me a masai blanket as a going away present and sarah gave me a batik. jane and sarah were both crying, which surprised me a bit. i guess you don't realize how much people are going to miss you until the time actually hits. i got so sad going to the juvenile today to say bye to the boys. i feel like i really know them, and i'm afraid i'll lose contact and not really know how they're doing. salim pulled me aside and held up a paper in front of his face so know one could see. then he whispered to me that he was really going to miss me. he's a pretty shy boy, and i thought this was really sweet.

we had devotions tonight, and i said goodbye to amie. she's been working nights, so i probably won't see her anymore. in the midst of this began this event: first, i've sort of known for most of my time here that milham likes me. he never really said anything directly, but there were hints, and i could just tell. i wasn't sure if everyone else in the house knew though. in any case, he made some comment about it after the devotions when everyone else was sitting in the room. something like asking if God had granted me favor with a mate from Kenya, or something goofy like that. but it was funny b/c amie cut him off before he even asked saying that she knew what he was going to say. then she made some comment about how milham desperately wanted an american wife. the whole thing was pretty hilarious, and it was pretty clear that amie and peter both knew about the whole situation. i never really had any other marriage proposals as i expected to get while here, so i guess this is as close as it gets.

i went to kibera in the morning to deliver the penpal letters and have them write responses. it was funny b/c all the kids were staring at my hair as i came in and making comments. that class seemed very sad about me leaving too. i decided to give away the pictures that judy had sent of her class. i put them on a sheet of posterboard and wrote lots of stuff. i had intended to hang it up in the classroom, but victor said i couldn't b/c someone would steal it. so for the past 2 months, it's been sitting in the office in the school. i pulled it out today and gave it to this boy, leonard, who had been sharing all these foam animal things for making cards with everyone around him. i said b/c he was being so generous i was choosing him. he was very happy.

popo went to the doctor yesterday b/c there are these big growths on his skin that are really bothering him. we thought it could be cancer or some kind of cyst. i insisted that he had to go to a good hospital to get some real answers. so he went to nairobi hospital. the dermatologist he saw there seems to have good credentials. he suspected cancer but after blood tests and other things said that it wasn't. it's some kind of growth though, that is spreading and really big under the skin. so he's scheduled to have surgery next week. he was really upset when i met him yesterday...partly b/c these bumps were bothering him and b/c he found out the surgery was really expensive. but i think this is a pretty serious thing and told him i'm willing to help pay for it. victor thought maybe another hospital could do the same thing for cheaper. but i don't think it's a good idea. i think this doctor knows what he's talking about, and i've seen what other hospitals do to people. please pray that the operation goes well. it's a two day thing, and they'll be putting in stitches and removing them. you can tell that popo is not himself right now, and i'm really praying things will turn around quickly.

my things are packed basically, and i just have to say bye to the BOLM kids and a few others tomorrow. i've given victor strict instructions for when the taxi should arrive b/c i've seen lots of other MSTs almost miss their flights b/c they can't get out the door. again pray for my safety, that my bags would arrive with nothing missing or broken, and know problems with the visa. i so appreciate all your prayers and support. i couldn't have done this without you.

anxiety, hamburgers, and chaos

2009-02-11T06:26:00.000-08:00

i feel relaxed and good at the moment. i woke up with a lot of anxiety. i've been having wierd dreams...like of me being in nakumatt when it was burning down and then i got out, or of me teaching and my class being completely out of control and me promising never to teach again. i've had this dream several times even while teaching. lauren says it must mean something...some anxiety about something. anyway, it better not mean i have to stop teaching b/c i don't want to do that. but today i think i was partially anxious about leaving and partially about talking with peter about my time here (we had a meeting today). but i remembered that verse "do not be anxious about anything but by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." i wanted to be tactful but very honest about things can be improved, especially regarding communication between everyone. kenyans absolutely avoid confrontation, and i talked a lot about how it was so necessary. the meeting went really well, and i feel very relieved. i want to leave africa remembering the good. yes, there have been hard parts, but that's to be expected anywhere, esp. in a non western environment. i want to come back someday, and so i want to leave remembering positive things. peter asked me what i wanted for my last meal--chapati of course. i feel like a death row person who's selecting the last meal before execution. okay wierd comparison.

i've spent all of this afternoon hanging out with my good friend, popo, who happens to be sitting right next to me watching me type. i introduced him to what we call a "hamburger" today. exciting experience. he gives it an 8 on a scale of 1-10. now we've been at the cyber for a while trying to print all these penpal letters to give to the kids tomorrow.

i've had a bit of a headache all day b/c of these silly braids. maria sprayed my head down with all this tea tree braid treatment, which seemed to help a bit. i said bye to her today. i think she's quite sad.

as i'm getting ready to leave, it makes me think about how to best describe nairobi to people. if i had to sum it up in one word i'd say "chaotic." i mean seriously, people are going a million different directions at once. furthermore,it's such a blend of old and new...i mean you have people pulling crates of stuff, others riding bikes, and others in cars all in the same place. there's competition for everything, including just getting into a matatu or even the supermarket line. i finally stuck up for myself today when a man jumped over to the next available ATM even though it was my turn. i said excuse me in a fairly nice way and then he let me go.

popo was reminding me how shy i was when i got here and how i'm so different now. peter was saying i'm very self motivated and determined. i guess that's true. i like to see things happen. he tells me i'm not a quitter, and that i win the record for being the girl who stayed the longest at one time with SYN. only richard morton, the british guy holds a longer record than me. and he's a pretty intense guy who would walk right up to an elephant or something, so i guess being 2nd to him is an honor. anyway, it's certainly not a contest, and i've only been able to pull through everything b/c of God. i look back at my life and what i was like before college. it's a huge miracle that God has brought me here b/c i used to hate being away from home. i mean i was the cryer at all the slumber parties in elementary schools :) just goes to show that God can really change a person. i look at people like lauren, who can adapt to just about anywhere and never miss home. i wish i was more like that. but the truth is that as much as i enjoy being in new places it's still stretching for me. i guess i will always have an attachment to my roots but a longing to venture out somewhere new.

10 pounds heavier in 1 day!

2009-02-09T23:33:00.002-08:00

i gained 10 pounds yesterday...5 in hair weight; 5 from amazing food. let me clarify this slight exaggeration. i got my hair plaited yesterday: a 5 1/2 hour adventure. it looks pretty sweet, but oh my goodness the girl used 4 1/2 packages of extensions! it is so heavy! i mean seriously my head is in pain now b/c of all the weight. she had to sew together the ponytail part in the back with a needle and thread b/c it couldn't stay up on it's own. i kept waking up during the night b/c i can only sleep on the side of my head. but hey, this hair thing really works to your advantage around here. like at the post office today, the woman was commenting about how nice it was and she didn't get mad about looking for my package like on normal days. i think i have a new record going...i was only at the post office for 1 hour 20 minutes today. i found some really nice guy who tried, with no luck unfortunately, to find other things of mine there that have been missing. as soon as he saw my name he said he recognized it. he took my email and said he'd let me know if any of my stuff showed up. even though this will be long after i'm gone at least maybe victor or someone can go get it. another american girl was there and she finally got her package that had been sent in october! TIA.

the 5 pounds of food: we made tacos and crepes last night...even our own tortillas and guac and homemade whipped cream with cooked cinnamon apples for the crepes. soooo good! lauren was having an interesting time with the crepes b/c the frying pan at the house is missing the handle, so she had to blow on the batter to get it to spread out. plus the little gas cooker thing is hard to control and the gas will start going on really high heat without even touching anything and then everything burns.

milly is staying around to be our house girl. she's just been filling in temporarily but has decided to stay. i'm surprised but glad for her. she says she gets to go home on sundays for church and then come back since she lives nearby in kibera. that will be a good break i'm sure. it's funny b/c everlyn called last night on victor's phone about something milham was helping her with. so basically everyone in the house is secretly in contact with everlyn except amie and peter. guess we all know she's a good person.

please start praying for my safe journey home on friday night. and that my luggage gets there and that i have no problems with my slightly illegal visa. i started getting all sappy about leaving on sunday. i mean it just hit me that my life is absolutely going to change drastically in 4 days.

name that disease

2009-02-07T07:49:00.000-08:00

i had to just about laugh today when popo told me he went to the health clinic in kibera and he was told that he had malaria and cholera. melissa and i asked what his symptoms were. he gets headaches, he can't breathe well out of his nose, and his throat is bothering him. i think he has a sinus infection, which is what i have and lauren just had. obviously if you had cholera you'd have diahorrea and if you had malaria you'd have a fever and be vomiting. what's with these crazy doctors here??? popo was feeling really dizzy which obviously was from that stupid malaria medicine.

today was my last day at blue house, so the kids were all hugging me and telling me bye. yesterday at BOLM i made rodgers tell zackayo in swahili that i would be leaving friday. he didn't really believe rodgers at first and started laughing. but we told him again and he looked so sad.

after leaving blue house, we were walking towards popo's house. two women got in a fight and yelling at each other. one woman was walking away past us, so we got caught a bit in the middle. fortunately we got out of the way before she started throwing rocks.

i stayed with maria last night. she made all sorts of good food as usual. she is enjoying her volunteering experience at a local school so much, and keeps telling me that it's me that got her to do it. but if it's anything i did, then it's just God, period. that's it. maria seems much happier now that she has more to do and something to look forward to each week. i think volunteering does that to you. anyway, maria gave me this beautiful hand woven ethiopian scarf as a good bye gift. i love it. it's so me.

i think the bugs are mostly done eating my drum, and so i'm going to try to take it home. i finally found a bag to fit it in today. it's wierd packing up all my stuff. i've given away most of my clothes and lots of things that i brought. it feels good to downsize and bring back less. i'm going to get home to my closet full of clothes and be in complete shock over how much i have.

there's a fountain flowing...

2009-02-05T06:46:00.000-08:00

I'm thrilled to announce that a recent breaking of a water pipe at the house has resulted in an abundance of water and hot showers. While Collin was here, he was trying to help turn on the pump to bring water into the house. Somehow it broke, and it has been a glorious thing. it was a bit chaotic that night as we kept filling up buckets of water in the front "yard" (um it's all cement and dirt there) where the pipe was and then carrying it to the back of the house where the storage containers of water are kept. the water just kept coming and coming and wouldn't stop. the plumber came the next day, fixed the pipe, and also said something was clogged, which was increasing the water shortage, but he fixed that. last week i took a hot shower 3 times!!! and this week once already! as far as i'm concerned, the pipes should break every week if this is what happens.

please pray for the people in northern kenya. there is a massive famine going on because of the drought here.

yesterday i went for my last java trip with melissa, lauren, and we took jane for her first time. i ate quesadillas and apple pie and ice cream. it feels so good to act american for one meal.

i did the last major activity i'll do with the older juvenile boys today. we got to do our body of christ skit that we were supposed to do in siaya. there's this australian man that's probably about 60 there volunteering right now. he participated in all our songs and games and popo had him doing all sorts of goofy dance moves. i thought the guy was being a pretty good sport. we can always be young at heart.

i took everyone to see the movie "changeling" on tuesday night. a good one; i'd recommend it. also a glorious experience b/c they had mustard for my hotdog. american condiments are hard to come by here. the ketchup is watery sugary tomato something that i'm not a fan of. in any case the movie is quiet tragic and sad. i can't imagine being in the mom's shoes and spending half of your life absolutely restless with no peace.

i only have 8 days left here, which is hard for me to believe. at times this journey has been a big challenge for me, but now it seems to have gone so quickly. i know that this country has forever changed my life and the way that i think. i have a new perspective of poverty, giving, faith, and how little you can survive on but still be happy and content. yet, there is so much of me that is the same that i wish would have transformed more. i'm always reminded of "Little Women" where Jo March says she is "hopelessly flawed." i'm still impatient, despite living in a slow culture. i'm still stubborn, even after needing to be flexible working with so many people. and i haven't become the prayer warrior that i would like to be. i'm convinced that change can come in our lives but it takes so much time. i hope that i will take back to america the best of this culture: the simplicity, thankfulness, friendship, patience, dancing, joy in small things; and then combine it with the best of america: trustworthiness, cleanliness, running water, not fried food, church services without shouting preachers, and free verizon to verizon calls.

tragedy

2009-02-02T22:30:00.000-08:00

this could be a bit of a depressing post, so i apologize in advance. more stories from the nakumatt fire have been coming in. apparently the security guards locked people inside the store during the fire b/c they thought people were stealing things. i guess they didn't realize how severe the fire would be and that everything would burn up anyone. consequently, probably many people died that shouldn't have. this account makes me want to vomit, and peter said b/c of this he'll never shop there again. it looks as though over 40 people died. there were all sorts of pictures captured of people jumping out the 2nd story windows, hanging off of the awning (sp?). crazy how this constant lack of trust issue creates so many problems in this society.

another tragedy occurred a few days ago. an oil tanker overturned, and people went to collect the spilled oil (ordinary citizens, poor ones, i'm guessing). then there was some sort of argument and someone let a match, and lots of people died. then another oil tanker overturned yesterday, and people were back out collecting the oil again, oblivious or ignoring the recent tragedy only a day before.

there have been other fires as well...emma, my friend from kibera, had her tailor shop burned down by thugs. i went to visit her there, and it's so eery looking...everything in the little tin building has been charred black, and the remnants of sewing machines are the only things left inside. it's quite amazing that it didn't affect the other stores directly next to it. the watchman put out the fire, and i have to wonder how he did not see someone come in and start it. elisha's sister's house in kibera was also burned down. and then there's the horrible incident with sara's baby. sara used to teach at sara junior for a few months. she had a baby in october. we went to visit her the saturday before i left for kogelo. the baby was beautiful, and we brought her baby clothes. she had been in the hospital for pneumonia 2 weeks before, but seemed to be doing fine. i found out a few days later that the baby died the following day. something was wrong with the way the umbilical cord was tied, and it affected her breathing (or so they say, but who knows around here). we were told that her stomach inflated like a balloon and then she stopped breathing. what really upsets me is that this baby had just been in the hospital, so if something was wrong, why didn't anyone catch it? it's b/c medical care is so absolutely bad here. this is such a tragic story. please pray for sara.

it's amazing how people do not know any of the basics about illnesses. like lauren has a bad cold, and milham went with her to the store to get some things to help her heal. milham told her not to get anything citris b/c the acid was bad for her stomach. he suggested milk!!! lauren had to explain that actually vitamin c is the best thing you can take. wow!

on a happy note, i passed this pharmacy in kogelo and it was called "Most High Drugstore". nice.

in other good news, i took yesterday to be a tourist here. we went to the giraffe center in nairobi. the giraffes there are tame, and we got to feed them. they eat right out of your hand. lauren and melissa let the giraffe "kiss" them by putting food in their mouths and having the giraffe lick/eat the food right from the mouth. one of the tourists there thought that popo was one of the guides working there and started asking him questions about the spots of these giraffes compared to the ones in masai mara. i laughed.

afterwards, melissa, popo, and i went to the kazuri bead factory. it's a fair trade company that makes ceramic jewelry and pottery. most of the over 300 people working there are single moms. it's such an awesome employment opportunity. i got to see the way all the kilns work and women glazing and sculpting the beads. they make 30,000 beads by hand everyday! we also passed by the karen blixen house, the woman from the Out of Africa story (meryl streep movie also from the 80's or 90's). it was good to take a break and enjoy the city. i'm so burned out right now and just tired. it's becoming difficult for me b/c kenyans have a lot of issues with confrontation. they just avoid it, which leads to talking behind people's backs, which is bad, and quite damaging to ministry. this is really frustrating lauren and i. i end up internalizing everything, which is also unhealthy. please pray for swahiba. there are a lot of good things that they are doing, but the disorganization makes things quite ineffective, and leads to people like me finding a lot of ways to serve on their own. i think if things are going to grow and become more effective around here that there need to be a lot of changes and push towards unity. also please pray for me as i get ready to come home. i'm excited to see all of you, but i know that reverse culture shock is going to be so difficult for me. i'm afraid of easily becoming depressed b/c of what i've seen here and wondering about what i've done to help as well as by the lack of not knowing what is next in my life.

by the way we had another house girl, mary leave. goodness we should keep a running tally or something.

a big fire

2009-01-29T23:28:00.000-08:00

I'm considering myself extremely blessed and very thankful right now to have avoided being part of the massive fire that consumed and destroyed the Nakumatt (like Wal-Mart) downtown Nairobi on Wednesday. I frequently go to Nakumatt 1-2 times a week, and actually had to go that day, so the fact that i wasn't in the store when it happened is amazing. i was on the way back to town around 4 that afternoon when i saw the smoke. 1 person died and over 30 people are missing b/c no one can go into the building right now for fear it will collapse. the fire station apparently responded in time but the problem is that there are only 2-3 working trucks for the entire city of nairobi! can you imagine? we have more than that for the little town of brookville. so additional private fire fighters were called in. it took over 24 hours to put out the fire, which is believed to have started when the generator exploded after it had kicked on during a power outage. people were jumping out from 2nd story windows to escape. everyone was lined up and down the street watching, and unfortunately creating a difficult situation for trucks to manuever down the street. the police had to tear gas people several times to clear the way. i finally saw what a tear gas gun looks like that day.

i have been feeling more at peace the last few days. on tuesday night i came home and had a debrief with collin piper (the icy director from the UK) about my stay here. i shared the good and all the concerns i had. i felt like a huge weight was lifted. collin is very concerned about getting things right here, and making this program more successful. it has been a good experience for me, and fortunately i am self motivated and able to do many things on my own. but i suspect this situation could be very difficult for people who are not as independent. collin is also concerned that the lack of water in the house is creating a health hazard and wants peter to move soon. i have already seen improvements made since collin left. like when peter came back from chatting with him at the airport, we immediately started doing house devotions and worship again at night. i suspect this is b/c i talked about there being a lack of unity and teamwork amongst everyone. i am really enjoying these nightly gatherings. they are lifting my spirits, and helping bring us together. there has been a lot of tension between melissa and lauren b/c they are complete opposites. but last night they spent a long time working out this song together and playing my drum. it sounded awesome. lyonne and i cooked pilau during this, and i made fried zucchini and eggplant. i was amazed b/c everyone in the house loved it. even peter who hates vegetables.

the schools have ended the strike as of last night, so that's good news for the kids here. and lauren tells me the kids at BOLM were playing with their beanie babies last week, and it sounds like they got there books back too. so things are looking up. on the other hand, i found one of the boys from BOLM on the streets in Donholm where i live (very far from BOLM) on tuesday. a street boy was asking for money. and then john (this boy) comes running around the corner yelling my name. i wasn't sure who he was at first. but i did recognize him. i could tell all the boys had been sniffing glue, and i'm sure he'd been living out there on the streets. he came home for christmas and hasn't come back. he told me he was coming back to BOLM this week, but i doubt that's true. i became very angry that the director let this boy go home for so long. clearly there is not a loving family waiting for him there, and he has easily fallen back into bad company. my heart breaks for situations like these where kids are shuffled back and forth from one environment to another. please pray for him, that he might return.

back from obama land

2009-01-26T23:22:00.000-08:00

i'm back a few days early from my village trip due to a nationwide teacher's strike in all public primary schools. consequently we were unable to go on the school mission as planned. but no worries, i did enjoy the week that i was gone. it went something like this:

we left late monday night, frantically running across town with heavy bags only to almost miss the bus. fortunately everything runs late around here. upon arriving in chavakali (the district of popo's village) on tuesday morning, we were dropped on the side of the road at 5:30 a.m. with about 8 bags. the sun had yet to rise and as i was wearing a black fleece hoodie, my mzungu identity was easily hidden. victor ordered me to put up my hood and turn away from the drivers of the piki pikis (motorcycles) so that a fair price could be negotiated for transporting us to the village. everytime headlights approached, i turned my face in the opposite direction. no one suspected my skin color. there was something comforting in all this...a sense of belonging, a sense of being an average normal person. negotiations reached, we piled onto the motorcycles...popo and i on one with the driver and 2 large bags, victor and jane on another, and a third for the remainder of our stuff. we set off down a dusty dirt road, full of bumps and rocks, and gigantic holes. 3 people on a bike is pressing your luck a bit i thought, and i rode in fear that we would tip at any moment. my one comfort was that the rough terrain forced us to travel slowly. but even the turtle speed could not prevent the fall that soon followed. the bike hit a rought spot and we preceeded to tip to the left, falling along with all the luggage. popo's first reaction upon my hesitation at getting up, was that i had broken my leg. fortunately, i was fine and crawled out from under the bike unscathed. but at this point the sun had begun to rise, quickly, as is typical of kenyan sunrises, and my mzunguness was revealed the moment the driver turned to help me up. i'm sure he was a bit surprised to see me.

we napped after arriving at the village and later traveled to kogelo. i was about ready to slap popo as he encouraged the driver of this piki piki to race and pass victor and jane. i thought i would die. some of you watched the youtube video of me being interviewed on KTN. you can check it out at http://www.eastandard.net/ then type in kogelo in the search box. then click on the video on the page. i haven't actually listened to the sound, so i don't know what i'm saying. but i was super excited to be picked for an interview. BBC and ABC news were there too, and although i didn't get an interview there, i was still happy. there was lots of dancing everywhere, food, and crazy signs reading (our son, our hope) or kenya, the 51st state. we took sometime to go see the grandmother's house. i got really close to the windows to take a picture of her obama stickers. there are police tents camped out all over there. men were putting in sewage and water lines. the compound was now fenced in with barbed wire. and i spoke to one of her neighbors or relatives who spoke no english.

the rest of the week was spent doing lessons and activities with kids. we made art projects, did skits, and taught them Bible stories. it worked out well b/c none of them had anything to do since schools are on strike. they loved the parachute too. the place where we stayed was very nice. my initial impression of the village is that it is much cleaner than nairobi. very tidy. the people had never had a mzungu in the village before. the bed was more comfortable than the one at peter's. the main family (popo's uncle i think) had a cement house with a tin roof. ours was made of mud and sticks but still nice, and the roof was also tin. the only creatures crawling around were geichos on the walls and a large cockroach, but nothing really bothered me. everything about the village seemed better to me than nairobi. clean, pure goodness. no electricity, but no distractions from what really matters in life. one man was always reading his Bible whenever i saw him. i knew however, lurking under this goodness of growing plants and well meaning hardworking people, that there were hardships. popo's cousin was widowed after someone poisoned her husband with rat poisoning.

we were overly well fed the whole week...chicken, beef, ugali. i managed to eat a third helping of ugali one day...the ugali tastes better and different there. we had to ask popo to tell them not to treat me or victor or anyone else differently when it came to food. the first night they served us generous helpings of meat and everyone else less. (i didn't really know what to do b/c sometimes if you say something they're offended. plus they kept saying i wasn't eating enough.) i ate ugali everyday all week. we had eggs for breakfast (a huge treat) a million cups of tea. popo's uncle invited popo's dad over one night. this was so wierd. popo hadn't seen the man in 9 years. they barely spoke to each other at dinner and when they did it was the father asking popo to give him something. seriously...the man disappeared from popo's life for nearly a decade and now wants something???!!! messed up. alex came over on thursday. he hadn't been there since he was about 9. on his last visit, he got used as a scape goat when him and some cousins sold some of the families cows and were all planning to run away with the money. only the kids left alex with around $1 to go buy bread, and they ditched him. alex knew he couldn't go back to the village or he would be arrested. so this incident forced him to live on the streets of kisumu for a few years. wow. i think this was a good way of making amends for alex now. people at the village seem to understand that he's now a christian and a changed person.

we made some home visits while there, giving away food to widows with large families. one of the houses we went to the man there was scared to death to see us. said he was about to get his weapon and it got worse when he saw me. then realized we were there on good terms. on later that night did we realize we had gone to the wrong house and given food to some random people. oh well. i liked the visit anyway b/c the celing was decorated with all these cut up workbooks from the kids, hanging by strips from wires across the celing.

tara came saturday afternoon from uganda. we enjoyed filling each other in on what we've been doing the past 3 months. sunday popo insisted that i "preach" at church, as he called it. i like to call it a talk, b/c i'm not a preacher. but in any case it went really now. definitely must have been God's favor. b/c when i got up there to talk suddenly i was not nervous at all and so at peace. i spoke about trust, and i think it went pretty well.

victor took us on sunday night to his rural home in siaya, not really his family but people that took him in when he was an orphan. we stayed there, and the next day he walked us all over the place visiting people's huts. i felt like this was the part of africa that most people invision. the huts, the tattered clothing, the harvesting of crops. his "grandma" was blind and came crawling out from another room to greet us. her skin was shriveled, she looked nearly 100 and in a lot of pain. yet she came out singing songs of rejoicing at seeing victor. he hadn't been back there for 4 years. all the kids and people, despite their poverty were all smiles to see us. it occurred to me that i had more possessions in my backpack than they had in their entire house. but i thought about what tara said about poverty being relative. that if people have food and clotehs are they really poor? or are they blessed not to be bogged down by all the material possessions like we had? i would say these people were really poor. but i'd say the people in popo's village weren't really. they just lived simply.

monday we went to kisumu and saw lake victoria..also infested with water hyacinths like lake naivasha. i was less than impressed by the town. everything was dirty, including the lake. and much smaller but similar to nairobi. i arrived back in nairobi this morning at 4 a.m. and was on the bus until 6 when i could get off and catch a matatu home. popo put me on the wrong one (which i tried to tell him before i left), and so i ended up walking a long way in the rain with 2 very heavy bags. TIA

off to kogelo

2009-01-19T06:41:00.000-08:00

i'm about ready to get on a bus in a few hours to go to kogelo. i'm absolutely exhausted b/c i spent around 5 hours just walking around town today to get stuff to take. i bought all sorts of baby clothes to give out to people there. peter says this is a big need. another MST left money to buy a sewing machine, so we also purchased that and some fabric. the kids in the villages have very tattered clothes, so hopefully this will be a big blessing to them. i'm excited too b/c victor and jane are coming with popo and i. although we have to keep this a secret b/c we will get in trouble for this. victor was originally supposed to go to uganda, but that hasn't worked out so he'll be joining us. we got ingredients for making s'mores. we tried this on saturday for sarah's birthday over a candle, and they tasted great.
collin, the ICY director from england was here sunday, so i finally was able to meet him and hear him preach at church on sunday. he was talking about the challenges of churches in various nations. he said as a generalization (b/c they're not all like this) that the american church struggles b/c it is so inward focused on how it spends money and reaches out to people and that when much is given much is expected. this is very true i think. as americans we do not struggle like people do here, so it limits our trust in God and makes us more self centered.
saturday night was horrible. we came home to find the door locked--very unusual b/c everyone was home. finally peter opens it and i see everlyn sitting on the couch, her face down, and her suitcase opened with everything in it. turns out that her and peter had gotten into an argument. she left with baraka to the supermarket and didn't come back for 2 hours. they got really mad at her, started yelling, and then she told them she was leaving. so she went to pack her stuff and then they wouldn't let her leave b/c they thought she had taken people's stuff. so they locked her in the house and made her sit there until we came home. i knew she didn't take anything of mine b/c i've had several hundred dollars sitting in my room in a drawer and she's never touched it. so she sat there while peter requested we all come and make sure nothing was ours. they found nothing. then amie starts saying how ridiculous it is that everyln won't wait until morning to leave when it's safer. but there's no way i'd stay the night after all that either. plus she would have left at a reasonable hour if they'd let her. apparently peter's sister, maxine told everyln she could go to mombasa and work for her there. everlyn was very underpaid and not treated well at all. i feel really bad for her, and i couldn't even say bye b/c i was scared of being yelled at. i did sneak an extra phone victor had to her, and i thought for sure i was going to get caught. what really made me mad was when peter sat us down to talk about the situation b/c he said a lot of things that weren't true...like how she wanted a phone and that there had been a house phone for her to use. i know this isn't true b/c we all had to sneak our phones to her to use. victor got caught giving her a phone to use and amie flipped out on him. so now there is no one to cook or clean. everyone's been getting up early to try to help. amie was supposed to go to work today but she couldn't b/c there's no one to watch the kids. i don't understand how amie and peter can treat the house help this way. everlyn never had a single day off. she got up every morning at 5:45, cleaned all day, watched the kids, made food, and went to bed around 9-10. she even worked christmas.

on a happy note, we planned the skit for siaya yesterday. it's all about the body of christ. i get to be the mouth and so i have to say everything with long drawn out syllables and smile really big and sing annoying off key parts. it's so hilarious and we all kept laughing at each other. my jaw was hurting after all that last night.

i did get another visa. praise God. basically they stamped my passport to make it looked like i left and then gave me a new 3 month one. i knew someone who knew somone at immigration. i had to pay to do all this, but it was the cheapest option and i was told i could end up in court if i didn't take care of this. i'm pretty irritated that this pastor who peter had helping me basically took my $200 and never got me a work permit or receipt or anything. so sketch. and the only people concerned about this whole matter were victor and lyonne. whatev...God knows what's going on, and he can be the judge.

okay, i'll update you in 2 weeks. look for me on CNN tomorrow :)

things are looking up

2009-01-17T05:14:00.000-08:00

i'm happy to report that things have majorly improved in the last few days. i stopped worrying about all the stuff going on, and no one seems terribly mad at me for anything, so that's good. thank you for all your prayers to uplift me. i know i'm going to make it the next few weeks, and i bet i'll even be sad when i leave. we had a new MST named Lauren come on thursday. she is super cool...very quirky, artsy like me, and really into singing. she's only 18 but seems older, probably b/c most of her friends at home are older. she's half phillipino half caucasion and from california.

i made slight progress with the stolen gifts issue. i wasn't planning to fight about it anymore b/c i'm so sick of the situation. but the principal at juvenile, also the principal at BOLM brought it up. he said, Agatha, the director, could tell i was annoyed after i confronted her the last time. and he told her that when you don't follow directions of white people when they give you stuff, they'll never trust you again. (yep, true). he said he was working on getting things back, and he really was genuine. he even knew that agatha was wearing the shirt without me saying anything. i was explaining about mom's shirt being taken and getting things here from america and having everything stolen and how i wanted to help there but now i didn't trust people, and i think he really did feel bad. when i went on thursday, the box of beanies was now sitting in the office. they still haven't been passed out yet, but they're not at agatha's house anymore. hoping something may happen with this. we got the bibles out again, and did a puppet show and then had the kids read in them. they seem very excited to hold a nice book in their hands.

we started planning things for siaya. i think it's going to be a lot of fun. i actually got a typed schedule of activities for the week, which is a first. we're working out details for a skit, songs, etc. popo and are leaving monday night. please pray for saftey going to kogelo. i will be without electricity for 2 weeks and we have to pump the water. that means i won't be writing anything on my blog until feb. 1, so don't get worried. basically, we'll be going to several schools to do the same program each time. at night we stay with peter's grandma (who knows obama's grandma i think), and playing with kids. one day we'll paint a school. with popo we'll be visiting schools too, and i'm going to be speaking at the church in his village. i haven't even begun this, so you can pray about God giving me words, fast. i think i'm going to talk about trust...how i had to trust God when coming here, and leaving behind my other life. and how we need to put our trust in God, but that we should act like Christ, and so we need to be trustworthy people. as i see it, trust is one of the main problems here, so this is what's on my heart. also, i had to start taking a different malaria medicine b/c we are going to a high risk area. i already felt a bit wierd this morning but better now so hopefully it's fine. please pray that this medicine does not make me sick. i don't think i can handle that again. please pray for energy too. i'm pretty tired, plus it's an 8 hour bus ride there, and i want to be very effective for those 2 weeks. i know this is the last big thing i'll be doing, so i want to make the most of it.

funny story, 2 weeks ago, katie and i went to church and were taking communion. when they passed out the "wine" it looked very funny. we couldn't figure out what it was. now i've had lots of things for communion--grape juice, wine, punch, wafers, sliced bread, torn pieces of bread, etc. but i'd never experienced this mysterious drink. victor smelled it to see what it was. it was coke! katie can't have pop either b/c she's allergic, so i had to drink it for her. we laughed about this experience a lot.

another funny thing today, this short little persian looking woman came up to us 3 mzungus standing outside the supermarket and starts going on and on about her son, and how she's looking for a wife for him and would we accept an invitation to her house. i was in the process of saying we can't when lauren says, "do you have a picture of him?" and the lady did. she pulls out a copy of his passport and starts rambling away again about how this is an old picture and he's more mature now. then lauren finally tells her no and says she likes her umbrella. it was this little kids' umbrella with cartoons on it. i couldn't keep myself from laughing through it all. the lady leaves and comes back again and starts telling us a story of some prince of somewhere--i'm guessing the son was some how connected. it was hilarious.

God will give us rest

2009-01-14T00:03:00.000-08:00

hey all. the past week has been a bit rough for me. i think i'm starting to step on a lot of people's toes and it's becoming clear that i should go home soon. i'm getting very frustrated by the lack of communication about things and the long pointless african meetings. school has started here again and that makes it tricky for the things i'm doing. i can't commit to teaching for a term b/c i won't be here long enough, so i have a bit more down time in my day. i'm trying to prepare things for going with popo to his village next week. i'm not sure that peter is happy about me going to kogelo, and i really don't understand why. i've hardly taken a break over christmas, so i don't think it's that. there will be 2 other MSTs here to carry on. basically people get upset about things but they don't explain why. plus there is a lot of tension between victor and peter right now and it's making things less than stellar. i feel bad b/c i haven't been overly friendly to Melissa, the new MST. she is only 18, and i can't help but keep thinking she's the same age as my former students last year. in any case, she's nice, and we get along fine. she can't believe i've been here since june. sometimes i can't either.
fortunately, i have the haven of maria's house, which has really helped me. last night i taught her to make play dough and gave her a bunch of books. she's going to use them to volunteer at a school. she kept hugging me and was so grateful.
Despite all of the muck, I know that I'm here to serve God and not man. I pray forgiveness for the things I have done wrong, but after that I'm trying to focus on moving on. I cannot please everyone. I take comfort in this verse:
Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.
I pray that you would all remember this, as i know things in the U.S. are difficult now. the economy is bad and january is cold. but God can give us strength. I try to remember that our lives here are so temporary and in the long run, these little petty problems have no meaning.\
we were able to get out the Bibles we gave the kids at BOLM yesterday and use them before doing a puppet show of jonah and the fish. so they haven't been stolen or anything. they were in some of the classrooms, which makes me think they are being used a bit.

worn out

2009-01-08T07:13:00.000-08:00

i was just riding home on the matatu; traffic was stopped; i was in a daze. the woman next to me taps me and says, "look, you can see the brains." i glanced out the window, hoping not to see what she was talking about. first i just noticed the mass of people lining both sides of the empty street staring. i was just turning back around when i see the top of a head and a massive pile of red. made me sick. i'm guessing this person was either walking, on a bike, or carrying a cart of something when he got hit by a car. there's no way he was thrown from a car b/c traffic moves too slow for that. (mom, i understand your experience like this now).

i have become extremely mentally drained this week mostly b/c i can't trust anyone. monday night, peter called the child protective services counseling place (where amie works) to anonymously report the many cases of abuse that i've seen at juvenile. he didn't want me to do it b/c they would know it was a mzungu voice and it could jepordize us being able to go back to juvenile b/c people would likely know i reported it. but the entire call got us no where. we all listened to the conversation on speaker phone. the guy basically told peter to report it to the manager of the juvenile. amie realized by the way the guy answered that the juvenile is a government facility and they share an office with the place that we reported to. so there's nothing that can be done b/c it's like we're reporting to the same place that's causing a problem. amie was sure by the answer that this case had already been reported. so this whole thing irritated me b/c it's like every other problem here...there's no way to fix it.

tuesday at bolm we found out that the director, agatha, took all the beanie babies we gave the kids and put them in her house. and she took the Bibles and stored them in the office. so alex and i were really fired up about this. unfortunately, agatha was not there, so alex spoke to a teacher about it. he says he'll ask. i talked to the prinicipal, who also works at juvenile, about it. he seemed genuinely concerned and understood my point. he promised to ask about it. i told him that we want kids to keep the bibles in their rooms so they can use them any time. and i said it was a lot of work to get that other stuff here all the way from america, and we want them to use it. i don't know why agatha took this stuff, but i'm just getting really fed up with things. i'm going to keep pressing the issue. at this point, i don't care if i step on people's toes b/c i'm leaving soon anyway, and i'm just tired of this. please forgive my negative tone. i would appreciate prayers to pull me out of this "slump" so that i can be energized for the last few weeks.

as of right now i'm planning to come home on valentine's day (i know many of you were curious) when i booked my plane ticket last march, i booked out the farthest return date possible, which was february. originally i was planning to change the ticket to april and stay a bit longer. but honestly, while i've enjoyed being here a lot, i'm starting to feel ready to come back even though i know it will be very hard to readjust. the constant long days of traveling and running all over, plus dealing with above issues are starting to wear me out. i know in my heart, that i would love to come back again someday soon. but for now i think i could use a break. besides staying longer will cost more money and i think it would be better to use this money to sponsor people for school and help them out in other ways. i hope this doesn't mean i'm taking the easy way out by leaving. i've wrestled with the issue a lot, but unless i get some sudden memo from God, this is the current plan.

today at both juveniles, alex and i taught about recipes for a successful new year. i compared our lives to a peanut butter sandwich (God is the bread, etc.) and made it right in front of them and then gave pieces of the sandwich away to kids who participated. they seemed to like this.

in happy news, i'm planning to go to kogelo (obama's grandmother's home) for the inaguartation. then popo and i are going to his village for about a week to visit schools and do activities with the kids. some of them have never seen a mzungu, so this should be interesting. then we'll go to siaya and meet the rest of the team for a week of school ministry too. should be fun, except i'm not sure how it will be to not have indoor plumbing for 2 whole weeks. please pray as i prepare to go there. i'm glad to get out of the city for a while and think our time here could be very useful.

other exciting news, is that i have been able to use money from you generous people to support steve to go to school for engineering. he thanked me a lot today (i told him to thank God and you guys, not me) and said that God will richly bless me. he was telling me his life story, about how there's 10 kids in the family, his father makes less than $5 a day. his mom used to do laundry for people in a nearby estate but now she just had twins and can't work for a while. so i think their family is really struggling. but when he told his dad that he had a way to go to school, his dad was so happy. there's also another family friend that the dad knows that has paid a bit as well.

Some things I've neglected to tell you...

2009-01-05T06:33:00.000-08:00

the light hearted stuff first...
i bought a drum; it's being attacked by bugs, not termites (did i already tell this story?); they're making holes in it everywhere. i sprayed it with bugspray, no luck. i had it varnished, no change. milham spent over an hour trying to smoke them out. there's still saw dust falling to the floor from where they're eating it. um, hello...how did they not get carbon monoxide poisoning and die????

when alex saw the policeman standing collecting bribe money from the mataus by the juvenile, he very loudly says, "hey, this is not an ATM here."

a lot of kenyans are nosy. or maybe to be polite i should say curious. for example, whenever something even minor happens life stops and everyone freezes and stares. like today 2 men were in some sort of quarrel in the street. the entire block of people stood glued to the sidewalk, eyes fixed to a not that exciting event. and then today i decided to help alex pay for some of his college tuition for this term. we went to the bank to deposit money. this man next to us was being so nosy staring at me giving him money and how much alex was writing on his deposit slip. jealousy right?

people make comments about me all the time. except i can't understand what they're saying. and it always happens with victor or popo. like the day we went to carnivore, the matatu conductor went on and on about me. kept asking victor questions about which matatu i take home, and what i'm doing for lunch tomorrow, and i'm sure some comments about my africanesque body (thighs and butt). i think they get a kick out of this b/c they know i can't understand them.

now the good stuff...
the scariest thing that's happened since i've been here occured on october 2. it was matt's first day here. we were coming back from juvenile. there was a big jam of traffic. or so i thought. i looked up from our stopped matatu. we were close to the action, but not too close. i saw police running across the road throwing out tear gas and then firing off something. i've been told it wasn't bullets, but i sure thought it was at the time. they were chasing someone. i turned to matt and said, "this is bad. this is really bad. we need to get out of the matatu right now." everyone jumped out, i clutched his hand, and we ran across the street. we stood watching on the steps underneath the entrance to a building. finally when things no longer looked eventful, i asked the man next to me, if we could use this other road to get up into the city. he said he thought so. so we went walking and passed lots of people covering their noses with handkerchiefs so they wouldn't breathe in the tear gas fumes. and that was the end of that. i didn't tell you before b/c i knew you'd freak out, but i told mom when she was here, so i guess the secret's over.

another great one...
one day 2 men were shot dead in the park outside our office by the police. they had previously robbed a store and murdered the owner in the process so it's not like they were innocent. but still...shooting people in broad daylight? comforting. by the way, this is the same park where i spent christmas. :)

on christmas day, this boy stole something from a woman at the park. i was in the office and could hear her screaming outside. victor and i looked out, and the kid was booking it across the street with the woman chasing behind him. he was too fast.

okay that's probably enough for you to lose sleep about for now.

found out that the "lost" boy from juvenile was really not lost. he was trying to escape. yep, lied to us. apparently he's back there now, since the night victor put him on the matatu. but i haven't seen him. 4 boys have escaped in the last month. and if they escape, that's about it for them. i mean, what will they do? their parents don't want them, they won't be able to get a job. they'll be stuck on the streets.

special mzungu price!

2009-01-04T07:13:00.000-08:00

I just finished a trip to the masai market with catie and rodgers, and i must say i'm getting a lot better at bargaining. i got them to lower prices a lot and didn't even need rodgers' help. i think it's b/c i know now when people are really ripping me off. and this sunday market is much better, they don't harass you as much. i actually had some nice chats with the vendors. usually at the markets in town they yell at you "special mzungu price." it's a special price all right...triple price. knowing a little swahili helps too b/c they know i've been here more than a week. i got this beautiful handmade quilt that looks a lot like the cool africa bag the sieberts gave me for graduation that i always carry around to school. i think i got an excellent deal and the lady seemed pleased when i told her it was so beautiful.

i haven't written in a while b/c i've been forcing myself to stay in the house and rest. i was getting tired and stressed, but i'm feeling much better now. i managed to sleep until 9:30...a first ever for here. i think the ear plugs mom left are really helping. i wasted over 5 hours last night watching season 3 of prison break. what's my deal? in the morning though i went to kibera. popo was given a chicken from his village for bringing all the clothes to the children. he wanted me to come enjoy it i guess since i helped get all the stuff for the village. so he slaugthers this chicken right in kibera. but the best part is, they eat almost everything on the chicken. we made a stew, and he put the head in, and all the organs. the intestines were grossing me out. they were going to put in the feet until i pleaded with them not to. i kept thinking of the chicken foot from prison break and it made me sick. i watched as popo devoured the entire head later.

we spent friday at juvenile and BOLM. we got the parachute out again, and mom you would be happy to learn that we were able to make the big mushroom cloud where everyone sits under it. we took it out in the grass, so it wasn't so dusty this time. later i was holding zakayo in my lap. i saw a speck of "dirt" on my arm. i tried to flick it off but it smushed. i smelled it...yeah definitely poop i think. lovely.

peter's half siblings annie and fairburn came back to stay, and then their mom came too. she lives in texas and hasn't seen them for 6 years. i don't think they talk much b/c they weren't overly excited to see her as i was with mom. and they didn't really know where in the u.s. she lived either. i'm not sure why she left them here. mostly they've been on their own too b/c i think their dad is dead. i think milham was helping take care of them until he came to nairobi. they both go to boarding schools now i think, so i guess they're not really at a home. i try to understand how people can leave their kids here when they go away, but i can't.

catie came back from tanzania. get this, when you cross the border, you are charged for a visa based on your nationality. most people are charged $50. but americans, mexican, and french are charged $100. is that massive discrimination or what??? catie said the french people caused a massive uproar at the border over this.

alex spent yesterday building a mud house in kibera. he's making it into a Bible study area for different kids in the "neighborhood" to hang out. i thought that was really awesome of him.

goodbye 2008

2008-12-31T06:08:00.000-08:00

it's new years eve, a time to look back at how the year has changed us and made us grow. a look at our struggles, triumphs, and blessings. i know that the past 6 months has forever altered the ways that i view poverty, money, friendships, and my faith. i came here hoping to change people's lives in just small ways by bringing them hope, but ultimately i think it is me who has been changed and blessed the most. i guess that's what happens when you serve others--you are richly blessed. part of me wonders still what have i done here, and i'm sure you will all beg to differ. i have not been able to have people arrive on time, nor have i gotten schools to stop beating kids (one boy at the juvenile had his wrist wrapped up 2 weeks ago from where he had been caned), and i certainly haven't even made a dent in the poverty situation around me. sometimes i continue wondering if people only want to talk to me b/c they think i'm rich (a security guard at the hilton yesterday asked why i wasn't staying there. i told him i'm just a volunteer and the hilton was expensive. he said that all volunteers have money). but i pray and hope that maybe God has used me to make just a few children smile and know that He loves them.

i'm not really into making new year's resolutions...they tend to end up broken anyway. but i hope from this experience that i have learned and will continue to try to enjoy simple things in life. i experienced a christmas without many presents, and in most ways (except for being away from family) it was better. i hope that when i get home i'm better at just sitting and listening to people, as i've done often here. i hope that i remember the 2 months of sickness when i often woke in the middle of the night and prayed fervently to God for healing. i hope i remember the mice crawling in the houses of kibera, and the lack of running water in our house. i hope that i remember how often i ate rice, and how loud the matatus are. b/c by remembering these things, i will appreciate things in america more and complain less. i hope i remember how much you all have been curious about things here, eager to know more, and praying for me often. for it is your love and support that have helped me over some of the humps. i remembering talking to people last new years about coming to africa and now a year later i'm here.

so that was a bit deep, on a light hearted note, i've spent some time today pondering where the blue raspberry flavor came from. thanks so much tara for the jolly ranchers that have inspired these thoughts (we've all been eating them while playing spoons). but seriously, blue raspberries do not exist, or do they in willy wonka world or something? why couldn't the flavor just be blueberry? amie and peter thought it was a miracle i've stayed in the house today. i'm trying to force myself to rest...always a struggle for me.

forgot to mention that i took mom on a wonderful farewell ride home in a very loud matatu. somehow before this she had avoided the ones with the video screens and loud rap music with explicit lyrics. she said the bass was so loud she could feel her heart pounding. her head was touching the ceiling too. did i mention that all the rap videos have people wearing cincinnati reds hats?

Kwaheri (Bye)

2008-12-30T07:08:00.000-08:00

I said kwaheri to mom last night. We had a very fun day in Kibera at Alex's house. We taught mom to make chapati and even sent some home with her for the Indiana folks to try. i hope it actually tastes okay after that 33 hour plane ride. and we made skyline chili. All the little kids in this area of kibera sat waiting a few houses down for us to bring them chapati. we made about 50, so there were plenty to go around. Mom really got to see some of the interior of Kibera yesterday, complete with lots of trash, flys, and kids asking "how are you?" Once you get past all the filth though and inside a house, there are always warm faces and friends welcoming you in. Vincent, who lives with Popo, came over to help and was telling us all about last christmas how him, alex, and popo got a group of street kids together, taught them about Jesus, and then fixed them food. this story is amazing to me b/c here are these guys from kibera, who have nothing by american standards, and yet they take the little that they have and give it away. wow...what an excellent example of Christ they are. popo and julius arrived later in the afternoon to tell us about their time in the village. i helped popo buy all sorts of clothes and shoes to take to them and he kept talking about how grateful they were. he said these kids have never put on a new pair of shoes before this day. we laughed too b/c he brought the older girls lots of sanitary pads. okay, yes, i was the one to get those from the store and it was quite funny buying 12 packages of pads b/c no one buys anything in bulk here. everyone in the whole store was staring at me. popo wrapped them in a dark plastic bag to carry them so no one could see inside. but the girls were so grateful b/c they hardly exist in the villages and are too expensive if they do. and i have to give popo a lot of credit b/c it was his idea and i don't know any other guys that would willingly carry around so many feminine products :) popo's house is the opposite wall of alex's. so as we cooked we kept yelling at him through the mud walls things like "hey bring us some spoons." imagine if you lived so close to your neighbors that you heard everything through the walls.

i forgot to mention about the police incident the other day, that it really didn't matter if mom had a seat belt on or not. they would have found something to charge us/ bribe us for no matter what. so don't give my mom a hard time. allen got smart about the police on the way home. he made sure to follow really closely behind a small car in front of him. this makes it less likely for them to pull you over. but when you're a lone car, you're doomed for sure. i've become so paranoid about the theft thing that i've been wearing victor's money belt around my waist. by the time i put my money and phone in it i look like i'm pregnant. my other favorite trick is stuffing everything in my bra :) (a common mzungu trick, i've noticed) sorry if this is too much information, but i think this better helps you understand my level of paranoia. i'm hoping i get over this soon b/c that belt is starting to cut off circulation and leave marks around my stomach :)

good news...it's been a whole month since i've seen a doctor! praise God for that. mom had these wierd red marks on her leg that she was worried about (but they went away) and had to drink some unboiled water. but i kept saying, just make it home. you don't want to go to the doctor here!

popo and i had a nice long lunch talking about his trip to the village. sometimes i get so depressed hearing his stories...like one lady there is now a widow b/c her husband was a preacher and someone recently poisoned him and he died. now she has 8 kids to care for on her own.

Back from Naivasha

2008-12-28T07:43:00.000-08:00

i know you're all a bit disappointing that i haven't written as much since mom has arrived, so i'll try to catch you up. we just got back tonight from naivasha. it's a town about 1 1/2 hours away which is known for it's big lake. i was disappointed on monday b/c they canceled my reservation at the place we were supposed to stay the past 2 days b/c my phone was stolen and they couldn't reach me. so ruth spent several hours calling around trying to find a new place to stay. we finally ended up at this really nice place but it was super far up this mountain. allen, one of victor's friends, drove us there on friday. we got pulled over during the random checks by the police...the one's where you have to bribe them with money. they pull us over and i think victor, catie, and mom all weren't wearing their seatbelts. i know that sounds really bad, but it's so common. no one does b/c the one's in the matatu don't work and mom was having trouble getting her's latched. everyone else managed to quickly pull one on except mom. and for some reason he decides to pick on mom. tells us to open the car door and says he saw her just putting hers on as we pulled over. then he says he'll have to charge a fine blah, blah, blah. i don't know why but at this point i just lost it. i'm so sick and tired of the corrupt police. it would be different if they were to write some formal thing up, but we all know that guy is just going to pocket any money he takes. so as he's asking all these questions i start snapping things back and then i started crying. victor's in the front seat telling me it's going to be fine. and allen and the police go back to look in the trunk of the car. of course they're only doing this so the police can bribe them. i know it was really stupid to cry but i think if you had to put up with this nonsense all the time then you'd understand. so the policeman tells allen that he has to pay him money or he'll take us to the police station and give allen a fine for not have a fire extinguisher in the car (um, no one ever has this). so we payed about $15 and left. fortunately that was the only bad part of the trip. allen drove us to lake elementeita first where there's lots of flamingos to see. we had to jump a chinese couple's car. mom, not thinking as she gets out of the car, makes some comment aobut chinese fire drills, not even remembering that we're helping chinese people and they probably wouldn't think that's funny. lots of little kids were on the beach selling flowers made from the flamingo's feathers. we bought one and gave them each a few shillings b/c they all looked pretty poor. then it was on to the lodge. the place we stayed was off the nice paved rode. it was a 30 min trip up this really dusty mountain road. mom kept putting her shirt over her face so she didn't have to breathe all the dust. she said it was good she wore such a loose top. the food at the place was amazing, better than carnivore. we got really confused b/c the first meal they brought us a bill that was super expensive. i was confused b/c i thought the food was included but since ruth booked it i wasn't sure. we ate so much that meal that we didn't eat dinner. and we weren't prepared to spend so much money on food. finally we asked the next day and the manager and everyone apologized and gave our money back b/c it was all included. so then we ate lots and lots at all the rest of the meals. all of them were huge buffets. i was so happy to have vegetables and good meat. they had ugali last night and i passed on that. one morning we took a boat ride on the lake. our driver/guide was really friendly and knowledgeable and mom and i got our own private tour. the lake is covered with these water hyacinths that are messing up the fishing industry and animal life. they've only been here the past 20 years...some american missionary brought them to kenya to put in a pond and they spread to the lake ( why are missionaries often doing bad things?) then teddy roosevelt introduced black mouth bass here b/c he couldn't catch any of the local fish. these in turn also messed up the other fish population. seriously, the americans need to lay off :) besides the boat ride we relaxed at the pool and slept a lot and went walking. 2 of the former kenyan presidents have houses up on this mountain where we stayed! it was a relaxing 3 days for me, and i think i really needed it. plus i stood under the hot shower for a long time. my feet are looking a little less black.

we never did see the movie on tuesday b/c it was playing at a different time...T.I.A. mom keeps pronouncing this tia (like the spanish word). instead of movies we took everyone for pizza. alex said he hadn't had pizza in 4 years (b/c it's too expensive for them). i think this worked out better anyone b/c we all sat around and talked and laughed. we found out upon coming home that someone stole mom's nice shirt she was going to wear to the dinner on friday from the bag we left at BOLM. so annoying.

on christmas eve, mom and i started trying to clean up maria's house. she was scrubbing the floor and had to get new water. then in the morning she took a shower and immediately the water ran out. she felt so bad that i didn't get to take a shower on christmas, but i really didn't mind b/c i'm so used to it. i took mom to church in kibera for christmas. at the beginning of the service they hung up 4 balloons, one on each string down the aisle. they finally got the christmas lights working. sally, jane, catie, and i sang some songs in front of everyone while victor played guitar. mom got to experience the 3 hour service. but it wasn't as bad b/c the sermon was cut short b/c some kids came to sing carols. we went to the park afterwards with everyone. mom and i made them buckeyes and pasta salad. this was our christmas lunch. she put string on some foam christmas ornaments and milham and steve hung them up in the trees in the park nearby, pretty funny. we all sat around singing carols while milham played guitar and playing uno and spoons. it was a lot of fun, and mom liked it b/c everyone knows how to enjoy simple things here and there was no commercialization to get in the way. victor said it was the best christmas he ever had.

on christmas eve we had the last christmas party at the juvenile. we broke out all the model magic mom brought. everyone seemed to have fun with that (even though they stole some of it too). we gave them presents and cookies, had a lesson, and played some games. alex was telling all the kids how mom is so funny, way funnier than me. i think everyone's going to miss her. i can't believe she's leaving tomorrow. it's been lots of fun, and fortunately it won't be that much longer before i'm home and see everyone too.

it was a bit of a reality check coming back home tonight b/c the water is off and the house is full. i've been spoiled for too long.

A Dedication to the Chex Mix

2008-12-23T06:50:00.000-08:00

I would like to dedicate the first part of this entry to the chex mix that my wonderful aunt judy sent with mom. it was a smashing hit on thursday night. so fantastic, i'm not sure how i neglected to mention it during the last post. we decided to share it with everyone before we went to maria's on saturday. everyone was a bit skeptical at first b/c it looked a bit strange to them. mom made them close their eyes and smell it before she put some in their mouths. everyone loved it. we had to hide some back for peter and milham so everyone wouldn't eat it all. when milham came he finished his share and started eating some of peter's. then peter came and amie said, "now in a marriage 2 become one and we have to share everything" and then she started eating his. she tried convincing him she didn't have any. before this we got out the christmas cd mom brought and we were all dancing around the house to "grandma got run over by a reindeer." we think we remember grandma franzman saying it was such a nice song. there was not a crumb of chex mix left and lyonne begged to have the container (the gladware) b/c it's very nice compared to most plastic containers people have.

on a sad note, last night mom and i were going home and were waiting for the bus. it was 7:30 p.m. suddenly this little voice says,"hi amy." i turn around and one of my juvenile boys is standing here in downtown nairobi by himself. my first thought was maybe he escaped. but then i found out that his parents had put him on a bus the night before. he'd been in town since 8 a.m. completely lost. he looked so scared, hadn't eaten since the day before, and had no money. his english was making it difficult to communicate. i called victor and had him come over b/c it was too dark and not safe for my mom and i to take him to the matatu stop where he needed to go. we gave him some cookies we had while we waited and he gulped them down. mom said his whole body was just shaking with fright. i'm sure he was freezing and he looked pitiful with buttons falling off his clothes. victor and jane came and got him some food and gave the conductor of the matatu directions where to drop him. what kind of parents dump their kids on a bus headed for a huge city they know nothing about? i'm guessing he's about 14. none of those boys have been to nairobi. they're from rural areas. it took me a month to learn the city. he said people kept telling him where to go in really vague directions and he just kept wondering around. this is probably one of the things that's bothered me the most since being here. but it's totally a God thing that we found him when we did. it had been such a long day but everything worked out for a reason.

i found out yesterday that when my phone was stolen the place in naivasha where my mom and i were going to stay tried to call to confirm my reservation. but since i had no phone and didn't answer they cancelled my reservation. so ruth spent a long time yesterday and this morning calling around for a new place to stay. what a disaster. i've been dealing with the dumb visa too. not going to happen. i did find someone to help me that lyonne knows from immigration but i'd have to pay another $150 and i've already payed $200. so i just decided oh, well i'm not going to tanzania. i'm just getting really frustrated with not being able to trust people and being ripped off.

on a positive note we had the christmas party at bolm today. we made lots of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. the kids were picking the bread apart and only eating one side at a time. mom did her bubble stuff, we acted out the christmas story, and everyone got presents (lots of former Back girl beanie babies in there). i think they enjoyed it a lot.

yesterday we went to juvenile and did lots of teambuilding stuff and a lesson. and we had mom try ethopian food. she said this was the food everyone was making fun of in the pictures but she liked it a lot. our stomachs seemed to be fine, so praise God i think we're through whatever we had. until yesterday we've mostly just eaten chicken noodle soup and sprite. mom's getting a kick out of all the hand washing in the sink. but she's enjoying the hot showers at maria's. she even had to walk to the supermarket herself when i was sick to get me medicine. we're breaking her in fast. we're all going to a movie as a big group. this is a treat for everyone. most of them have only been to the cinema once in their lives.

baraka is super sick, similar symptoms as us. they think it might be malaria. i'm skeptical.

lots of sickness

2008-12-21T21:49:00.000-08:00

sorry about the delay in writing but things have been a bit crazy here. on friday we went to both juvenile homes. in the morning we had a christmas party. mom and i helped the kids make foam ornaments. this is the first day i didn't have any scissors stolen, i think b/c mom was there. alex taught the lesson and at the end we gave them gifts...paper and pens and candy. the kids were so happy. we had juice and cookies too and some of them told us this was the best christmas they'd ever had. the afternoon kids were also excited to meet mom. some wore their best shoes just for her. friday we went to bolm. they loved the parachute mom brought and painting ornaments/singing songs. mom, catie, and i stayed and ate lunch. they experienced the wonderfully bland ugali. we came back to maria's to change for the volunteer party only to discover i had left the whole bag of our nice clothes at BOLM. so we're scrambling around trying to find something to wear. i had to wear mom's capris, which were pants on me, more like high waters though. and they were falling off my waste. she let me have my christmas present from ashley ( a scarf) early so that i could wear it. we had to go buy mom some shoes to wear b/c all she had was her dirty sneakers. then we waited with everyone else at nakumatt (like walmart) for the rest of the group to pick us up. they were 2 1/2 hours late. so while waiting we were teaching alex, popo, and others the chicken dance, electric slide, etc. and they taught us some african stuff. it was a lot of fun, and it turns out the only fun i would have for the rest of the night. when the bus finally came it took us to the middle of no where for this party. it was 10 by the time we got there and we hadn't eaten since 2. i finally went to bed at 11 b/c i was exhausted. we were spending the night there, and they still hadn't eaten. then i got really sick with the chills and fever. and by the time and few hours passed i was vomiting. lovely. we had to leave early in the morning. we found someone to take us back close to maria's. on the short walk back from where we got dropped off, i kept throwing up by the side of the road. everyone was staring at me, and at one point i told mom i had to sit down on this stump by the side of the road. we laugh about this now. in any case saturday and sunday we just slept to get well. i think i'm finally a bit better today. mom is cracking up about this kenyan dressed like santa at the store b/c he's super skinny and the beard is so thin.

Tabasamu

2008-12-17T09:23:00.000-08:00

Mom arrived safely last night. i was so excited to go pick her from the airport. we got there in time for me to just barely spot her looking for her luggage and struggling to put everything on the cart. peter could tell i was so eager for her to come out. i kept standing on my tiptoes over the crowd looking for her. last night was quite a breaking in experience for her. there's no running water at the house right now. i think this is good in a way b/c it will give her a true taste of what it's like. it felt like a big campout as we were preparing for bed with me trying to explain to her and catherine (also a hoosier that arrived yesterday) how to dip out the water from these storage containers outside. and i tucked her into her mosquito net. i think i freaked her out a bit after i told her that her skin can't touch the net or they will still bite her.

today we left super early to go decorate for tabasamu. we hung lots of tinsel and balloons in 4 various tents right by the school we volunteer at in kibera. and then started painted faces. face painting here is awesome b/c it's just lines, squiggles, and designs. much easier. we painted several hundred faces (about 6 of us were working on this) in maybe an hour and a half. the kids were super excited about this. i had a near very bad experience when dumping out the dirty face paint water. i just dumped it out the window of the school. you have to understand that there's no grass or sinks or good places for it to go so this seemed fine to me. i looked out the window when i dumped the first containers and it was fine. but the last one i dumped from a different window. a few minutes later a man peaked his head in the window and told me to come here. i looked out and the nasty purple water had splashed onto this sweater that fell off the clothesline. i felt super bad b/c he probably doesn't have many clothes. i kept saying "pole sana" i'm very sorry. i volunteered to wash it out but he said no. so i took ruth back to his house a few minutes later. he was then pretty nice about it. he'd already washed it out and it came out. and ruth thinks the sweater was actually a rag. the man said, "it's fine. we're all christians. i can forgive you." i felt better after that and it didn't spoil the day.

there was lots of entertainment throughout the event. mostly popo and alex making jokes in swahili. they pulled me alone up on stage twice to dance in front of over 500 people. it was quite funny. then mom, catherine, and i led some christmas songs in the afternoon. this went less than stellar b/c the kids don't know any of the words. they were just staring at us mostly. but all the same i think they were just glad to see some mzungus being silly. everyone thinks mom should be my sister b/c she looks so young :) lunch was catered and again we fed hundreds of people. it was hard to control the number of people coming into the event. b/c even after closing the gate there is no way to completely block off other entrances. everyone wanted to come when they saw a tent up b/c it meant free stuff. we gave away shoes towards the end. kids were very happy. but again it was so hard b/c not everyone got them. we probably had around 400ish but there were more kids than that. i think all of this was very hard for mom to see. sometimes i tend to block out some of the things i see. i guess b/c i'm so used to it now. i know this is probably bad, but in a way sometimes i have to separate myself a bit b/c it is so emotionally draining. however, it was good for me to watch mom and catherine experience this for the first time b/c it opened my eyes again too. i think mom is not used to all the dirt yet. she desperately wants to take a shower but it'll have to be more of a sponge bath not in a bathtub. she got to experience having black snot at the end of the day. lovely. it's funny b/c most of this stuff doesn't get to me anymore. i just forget. ruth had someone pull off her necklace and steal it today during all this. and someone broke the window of the cater's van. lots of theft in the past few days.

stolen goods.

2008-12-16T06:48:00.000-08:00

i am so dumb. so i just had my phone, atm card, alien card, and about $20 taken from me and i didn't even realize it until almost an hour later. i was coming back from BOLM by myself...everyone else left a bit before me but i was finishing up the paper maching. i think this must have happened on the matatu. these 3 guys got on a bit before town. then they started talking about how policemen were doing seat belt checks. i thought this sounded really sketchy, but i have seen it happen before. so everyone is scrambling around looking for their seat belt and the guy in front of me pretends to be all helpful. of course my belt was squashed between the seat and the vehicle so i'm trying to dig it out. i think during this event they must have reached in my bag and taken everything. there was a lady behind me who had changed seats to find her belt and she didn't seem to think anything was wrong. shortly after this all those guys got off the matatu. peter tells me not to be mad at myself b/c it's the way things often are and not my stupidity. even victor said he's had 4 phones taken now. alex agreed too. in positive news they didn't find my camera or the keys to maria's house and there were no knives involved this time.

yesterday i had the lovely experience of burning my leg from massive hot grease while cooking french toast. it's hard to regulate the little charcoal cooker things and this kid was making french toast at juvenile and it popped all over me. i have massive red marks all my legs but it doesn't hurt, so i guess that's good. seriously what's next.

one really awesome thing was i went to stay at maria's by myself on sunday. it was great having the house to myself. and not having to wake up to the rooster in the morning. i made myself soup, popcorn, sandwich with mayo, and i felt very american.

i'm heading to the airport to pick up mom. tomorrow is tabasamu.

Bowling for Joy

2008-12-13T10:35:00.000-08:00

Today Victor and I took some of the kids that he sponsors to go to school on an outing today. He has a ministry called Rafiki Foundation that is still in preliminary stages but basically what it does is helps pay for kids school fees. most of primary (grades 1-8) is free, but there are still small fees. and then in high school you have to pay, so many kids never go to high school. victor has almost 10 kids mostly from kibera that he helps supports. he wanted to do an end of the year party for them, so i suggested we take them bowling. we all had a lot of fun. only one of the guys, sam, had ever bowled. the rest were totally green, so we had to explain how to hold the ball and the object of the game. i bowled one of my best games ever, 143...where did that come from? they play lots of venga boys music (makes me think of you kelsey) and we were all dancing around. one of the girls told me i could really dance...i think they just assume mzungus can't or something :) sam was showing me how to do this kangaroo move and i think everyone in the whole place was staring at me, but whatev. this bowling alley is at village market, probably the most posh place i've been in nairobi. so seeing as all these people lived in kibera, i think it was quite a change of scenery for them. we finished by giving out christmas cards, candy, and ice cream. i laughed a lot today...the joy of the lord is my strength (nehemiah 8:10)

amie came home last night with another live chicken, or at least i thought it was just another chicken. nothing unsual since we had one here for the first 2 months i was around. but i quickly discovered when i heard crowing this morning that it's actually a rooster. let's just say i woke up before 6 a.m. b/c it's right below my window. i told victor and milham that i propose we kill it soon. victor said, "oh no, it'll be around until christmas dinner." oh brother

so praise God...i should have mentioned earlier that i am getting well! i finally figured out about 2 weeks ago after i was still feeling bad that the new anti-malarial medicine i was taking was making me really sick. the doctor gave this handout on some of the side effects...here's what it says...patients "had tingling dizziness, loss of balance, vertigo, motion sickness" "mental disturbances including anxiety, insomnia, nightmares, and unreasonable fears." "one...sustained fractures when he jumped off a cliff to escape an imagined attack." yeah, it's a crazy medicine and basically had me feeling like crap for 2 months. i've been instructed not to take any more malaria medicine. i've spent so much time being sick here, it's crazy...every week it's something. me and Cipro have become good friends. i've heard people talk about spiritual attacks, but i never really could relate to this or understand it until now. but i think this has definitely been a spirtual attack. during matt's time here he was talking about how satan uses your weakness against you...and how his weakness was lack of sleep. i think sickness is one of my biggest weaknesses b/c it makes me grumpy and ineffective at serving. but despite all of that, i'm feeling a lot better. i appreciate all your prayers for my health.

all of those protests yesterday over the media bill and MPs taxes thing seems to have helped. there's a lot of international attention being given to the proposed media bill which is awaiting the president's signature. everyone is opposed to it, so it might not pass. they were showing clips on t.v. of a few years ago when the government burned newspapers and invaded media houses destroying things b/c the stations were reporting government corruption.

i forgot to explain tabasamu. this is a swahili word for smile. it's a big christmas party we're holding on wednesday where we give out shoes and a meal to about 500 kids in kibera. the office was filled with shoes today. our organization is starting to become more well known now after peter got airtime on the christian radio station this week for an interview to talk about tabasamu and get locals to support us.

A Close Call

2008-12-12T08:16:00.000-08:00

Popo almost got arrested today...seriously. so there is this huge uprising amongst people here b/c the kenyan members of parliment (like our congress) are refusing to pay taxes. they get paid lots of money. matt told me that government officials in kenya get paid more than anyone in the world. don't know for sure if that's true, but they are definitely way overpaid. so lots of people have been protesting about this. popo wore a shirt today that said something about if MPs (members of parliment) don't pay taxes then other people shouldn't either. someone organized the shirt making and many people wore them (it was independence day here today). on our way back from BOLM popo got a text from Julius saying that the police were arresting people with the shirts on. popo and i got off at Nakumatt (like walmart) before going to kibera. i went to the bathroom there (b/c it's clean and has soap). he was waiting for me and saw a police officer coming. so he slipped in the bathroom and turned his shirt inside out. then he heard the policeman talking to another person asking if they'd seen popo. the person hadn't. the officer left, but as popo and i walked out there was an entire truckload of officers right by the store. we kept walking and he finally told me what was wrong. he said, "feel my heart." it was pounding. i've never seen him scared before. apparently, there isn't much freedom of speech here. people can get arrested for booing the president too. they passed some sort of law this week that is going to limit what the media can say about the government. i feel like things are turning into a dictatorship or communist government or something.

in better news, popo, julius, and i spent the rest of the day christmas shopping for kids. popo wants to go to his rural home (a village farther away) and take presents to the kids there. we went to this market and bought clothes and shoes. most of the stuff is brand new. a few of the shoes are slightly used but they look in really good condition. for most of it they were giving us good deals, even though i'm a mzungu. but towards the end we had to stop b/c we had lots of bags of stuff and they started seeing me and raising the prices a lot. so popo was heading back to do the rest on his own. we also wrapped the rest of the juvenile gifts yesterday. i've never wrapped so many things at once.

we started making pinatas with the BOLM kids today. we were all covered in flour. speaking of flour yesterday we made 80 chapatis with the juvenile boys. it's really great now that alex is back from college b/c he's great at leading the Bible lessons. he's really funny and they all seem to listen.

yesterday in the matatu on the way home the conductor and the passenger beside me were carrying on a conversation overtop of me. they kept trading the conductor's phone back and forth. this was a super nice phone with all these fancy features...nicer than anything i'll ever own. i found myself thinking that it probably was stolen (julius and popo agreed). but the scary part was they kept looking at this picture of a gun. they kept talking about it in swahili. and it wasn't just some random picture. i'm really thinking they were planning to buy it or sell it or something (popo and julius also agreed). it's bad that i automatically jump to all these conclusions and judgements when i don't know people. and it's really not my place to judge. hopefully i'm wrong. peter tells me that in somalia they sell guns right on the streets. awesome, definitely think i'll be visiting soon :)

yes, yes no wonder

2008-12-09T23:20:00.000-08:00

i feel like a true american right now b/c i'm starting to feel the time crunch of everything going on. i'm trying to get christmas presents ready for the kids at the juvenile homes. i wanted to have everything wrapped before mom gets here, but things are so slow here. or i can't find things. i wasted an hour today walking around trying to find a place to get wrapping paper in bulk. everyone is crazy at the office here getting things ready for tabasamu. i have a feeling we're going to be wrapping lots of things for that the night before...TIA. and then there's the post office drama. the 2nd package of penpal letters never came and it's probably sitting over there somewhere. people are not very helpful and even when you go to get a letter they send you to about 6 different people to pay and decide how much you'll pay and then write it in various books that you collected it, etc. let's just say it's a super inefficient system but it employs a lot of people. i promised myself this morning that i'm not going to get upset about this. so i'm planning to go there today and try my best but if i can't find the package, then i guess i'll just have to accept that. on top of all this i'm having trouble with extending my visa. peter is having someone work on it b/c that's supposed to be faster. but they've been working on it since september and still nothing. TIA. i will be an illegal immigrant beginning dec. 26, which normally wouldn't be a big deal. but i wanted to go to tanzania with ruth and some other people for new years. if i leave they won't let me back in the country. so i'm heading to the immigration office with peter and other people in a bit to see what we can do. i have a feeling it might not happen. in any case, please pray that this comes before it is time for me to go back home. in spite of all this, i'm trying to focus on the fact that christmas isn't about presents, or traveling, or packages. it's about Jesus and it's so easy for me to get caught up in everything else and forget that.

yes, yes, no wonder...
funny story. popo went on this mission with youth for christ in october. this australian lady was with them and all the kenyans in the group convinced her that popo couldn't speak any english. she kept asking people to translate for him. the kenyans told her that if she asked him a question, he would just respond, yes, yes, no wonder. they split into groups and popo was with her. she said, "can someone be with us so they can translate?" so popo finally had to tell her his english was perfect. but anyway popo told this story to the juvenile kids. he said whenever you see a mzungu just say "yes, yes, no wonder." so now we say this all the time.

i made spaghetti for people in kibera yesterday at nereah's house...sauce from scratch and everything. it was pretty good. i never mentioned that the last time i cooked there this whole family of mice came out from the walls and started eating scraps of food. it kinda freaked me out. oh, and i found a dead mosquito in my bed today with its blood on the sheets. gross right? did i kill it in my sleep or what?

Top 10 List

2008-12-08T03:34:00.000-08:00

i was processing more about the experience at BOLM on Friday. it occurred to me that the experience was a lot like camping only not as clean. it had all the elements...i mean we were washing tons of dishes in a big sofria (pan), we were singing camp songs, sleeping in rougher conditions than normal, etc. but let's face it...most of us, no matter how fun the camping experience is, are glad to go back to our comfortable houses and beds and electricity. but for these kids, there is nothing else to go to.

my top ten list for the day...hope it makes you laugh

Top 10 Reasons You Know You're a White Girl Living in Kenya

10. You have been permanently renamed "mzungu."
9. You almost get hit by a bus everyday.
8. You use baby wipes instead of taking showers.
7.Everyone wants to talk to you.
6. Your 3 main food groups are rice, ugali, and chapati (AKA carbs, carbs, and carbs)
5. You forget what an oven is.
4. You use hand sanitizer instead of soap.
3. You only shave from the knees down.
2. You tell people to meet you an hour earlier than when you actually want to meet because you know they'll be late.
1. You get to help needy kids in the name of Jesus, and you love it!

A Night at BOLM

2008-12-07T06:59:00.000-08:00

asante sana (thank you very much) for your prayers about the sleepover on friday. it was a smashing success! rodgers and i arrived at 3 and the kids came running outside so excited to see us. we played with the kids for a while, and then at 4:30 the chapati making began. rodgers had the older kids help him. we bought 5 bags of flour but i found out today that it took forever b/c BOLM had also purchased 3 bags of flour. plus they added too much water, so we had to get an additional bag. so that was 9 bags of chapati, which made over 150 chapatis i think. they didn't finish until 9 p.m. i was holding this little boy stanley, and he was so tired. i gave him a piece of chapati to eat and he started chewing but then his head began nodding to the side. i said, "wake up, wake up." it was pretty funny. before this i was helping peel potatoes and it gets dark around 6, so towards the end i couldn't see anymore. at first i only had a few to peel and i thought "easy enough." but then one of the teachers brought this huge bag full which made me say "oh...there's more." while they were making chapati i took the younger kids and had them color stars, make beaded jewelry, and play with playdough. they thought the play dough was ugali and this little 2 year old kept trying to eat it. (alex told me later about a former MST, andrew who fixed everyone kenyan food. he made ugali and then put food coloring in it, so it looked like a giant rainbow cake. ugali is just flour and water made into this big cake looking thing.)

meanwhile, the art activities were winding down, so we moved onto singing songs. the power went out there so we were doing everything in the dark (including the making of dinner). we had 2 little candles burning in this tiny classroom with 30 kids crammed inside. and as we were sitting there singing, an incredible peace came over me. how could you not experience God's joy sitting there in such a simple environment with the most precious children? i taught them the song "pass it on", which is one of my favorite hymns. after about 1 1/2 hours i was running out of songs. we moved onto lion king...hakuna matata (that's swahili) so they thought it was cool learning that. then we started singing i'm gonna be a mighty king. i was doing all these goofy motions and rodgers came in and started mimicking me. the kids thought it was hilarious. alex, steve, elisha, and eric arrived at 9, just in time to eat.

after eating we gathered all the older kids together and did a devotion with them . the younger ones went to sleep and i started nodding off as well. alex was trying to talk to them about esther and waiting upon the lord, but i think they were too exhausted. sleeping turned out to be fine. they gave a bed, and it was more comfortable than the one i normally sleep on. they made sure i had a mosquito net too, even though no one else did. i slept in the same room as all the girls and zipped myself up tight into my sleeping bag. i didn't want to feel anything crawling over me :) the building we slept in is made of tin sheets and has a concrete floor. it started raining right when we went to bed, and as you can imagine, it's quite loud hearing that rain pound on the tin roof. it made me think of that song "rain falls, angry on the tin roof, as we lie awake in our bed." most of these kids sleep with 2 of them in a bed and some of them were sleeping on a very worn out mattress on the floor (i offered to sleep there but they wouldn't let me). all of the mattress are just thin foam and have chunks coming out of them and look really old. i had to go to the bathroom before sleeping...there's no light in the outhouse and it's just a hole in the ground, so that was a bit interesting. these kids have no pajamas and they all slept in their dresses.

saturday we woke up and all the kids immediately started cleaning everything. they are such hard workers. they were even scrubbing off their shoes. we stayed and had tea...rodgers is obsessed with tea and had about 4 cups. today we were celebrating ruth's birthday and eating cake. he said "wow there's a lot of sugar in here...we should have just used it to make tea." everyone thought this was funny. the rest of the day yesterday was devoted to plaiting my hair. lilian (the girl who does my laundry) did it for me. it took 6 hours, and we were exhausted by the end. it hurt really bad this time, especially b/c she had to redo part of it b/c it was falling out. but pain is beauty right? she insisted on feeding me...even though i know she has hardly any money. her neighbor was there and we ate rice with avacado. she gave me half of the avacado, gave 1/4 to her baby and then split the other 1/4 with her friend. just shows how generous people are even though they have nothing. it's like that bible story in luke where the poor woman gives just a few coins as an offering. it occured to me, that probably most days lilian just eats rice and maybe a fruit or vegetable if she has money. i know that all of us would be so bored and tired of rice. sometimes i get tired of eating rice here. but i know that i have so much to be grateful for b/c at least i'm eating it with stew or something, not just plain like many people in kibera are.

A BIG HOLE

2008-12-04T05:48:00.000-08:00

i missed telling the other part of my traveling story from tuesday. you see on the way to town, while driving across the median thing (a common occurence) the matatu's back tire fell into this gigantic hole. we're talking the hole tire fell in. how we didn't get a flat is beyond me. but i had to get out with that silly guitar while everyone pushed and then put the guitar back inside. good times.

so i'm pretty excited b/c maria offered to let my mom and i stay at her house over christmas. she's leaving for uganda tomorrow so we will have the whole house to ourselves for about a week. i was a bit reluctant to accept this offer b/c it's i don't even know her that well and i feel a bit wierd about it, but i think it's going to be really nice. this apartment has 4 1/2 baths, a balcony, a community pool, a loft area, etc. it's like a vacation home you would rent. so it should be nice to rest up there and take a shower more than twice a week :)

have you ever tried to make cookies with 30 kids? wow this is a challenge. i did that yesterday with the juvenile kids, interesting. then i went with dottie to the dr. you can see where her wrist was broken b/c the bone is jutting out in a wierd place that it shouldn't be. it's been bothering her for 2 years and she's never been able have surgery. we met with the doctor, and she's going to have the operation on the 16th of december. she also found out the same day that she got the teaching job she wanted. she called me right away when she found out and said i wanted you to know so we can praise God together.

tomorrow is the campout at BOLM. pray for me.

a white chic carrying a guitar

2008-12-02T08:47:00.000-08:00

Today has been an absolutely fabulous day and just proves to me that you don't need running water or flushing toilets to make it that way (yeah the water has been off for quite a few days now). this morning began a bit crazy b/c i had to carry the guitar with me. alex (popo's brother, who is back on break from college) insisted that i bring the guitar to BOLM so he could play it for the kids. the guitar case is super heavy and the most awkward thing to get on a matatu. victor, milham, and leon all told me it was too big to carry but i said i was strong (in the Lord and his mighty power that is). so here i was, already drawing attention b/c i'm white and then add a guitar on top of that. but God allowed me to get a seat right by the door of the matatu on the way to town, which helped. then i got off in kibera to go to rodgers' house. he's been begging me to come visit. i panicked a bit at first b/c i got off at the wrong place and wasn't sure where to meet him. i would have been fine except i have this huge guitar and everyone's staring at me. thank goodness for cell phones. we found each other soon enough. i was so grateful for the hospitality at his house. he had made tea for me and chapati too, (this takes a long time and is pretty expensive for people in kibera to make). he said he knew it was my favorite. of course i had already had tea that morning, but i would never tell him that. his house is much nicer than the rest of kibera. it has cement walls. i'm not sure how this is possible since they're not allowed to have permanent structures. but from how he explained it, i think it's b/c this structure was already there and built by someone in the gov't a long time ago or something. i think he was really proud to show me around and have a mzungu in his house.

then we went to BOLM. it was hilarious getting in the matatu this time. i made alex take the guitar. he tried to put it in the front with him but it wouldn't fit, so he hoisted it over the seat to the people behind him. i'm sure they were less than amused but used to it. people are always hauling random things in there like hundreds of egg crates stacked on top of each other, hundred pound bags of potatoes, etc. the kids loved singing to the guitar and we were all dancing around swinging our partner, etc. good times. we talked with them about God's faithfulness. i took the younger kids and we made a handprint rainbow (thanks for this idea mom) on a white piece of fabric. they all giggled getting the paint on their hands. we had the older kids make guacamole. they never ever eat chips, so this was quite a treat. we're planning to go back there on friday and spend the night. i'm so excited about this. i've been wanting to do this for weeks, but have been waiting to feel better. i think my body is beginning to heal. i've felt better today than i have in a long while. i would really appreciate your prayers about staying there on friday. we're planning to make chapati with them (they usually only have this on christmas b/c it's more expensive) and bring music to dance to, maybe paint nails, etc. eunice, one of the teachers, is going to keep it a surprise from them until friday. they will be ecstatic b/c they've been wanting us to stay. so pray that friday goes well, that i'm feeling well, and that nothing crawls over me while i'm sleeping :) the conditions are better than kibera but still rough. i was realizing that all the other volunteers who are staying live in kibera and i don't, so i'm probably the only one who'll be out of my comfort zone. by the way, about animals, peter asked me if i liked geckos (sp?). he said he saw one crawling on the ceiling in his bedroom. i haven't seen one yet. hope it stays that way :)

after BOLM i went to nerea's in kibera to make chapati. they were impressed by how much i already knew how to do ( i was surprised i remembered). her neighbors and nephew came too. the nephew is named dennis and his friend is samuel. they are about my age. they were asking me all sorts of questions about the u.s. and were so intrigued to watch a mzungu make chapati. they were very curious as to why i came to africa and had never eaten with a mzungu before. dennis joked that today was like a holiday b/c he was eating with a white person. after we finished eating he asked me if i was saved. i said yes, and it turned into a wonderful conversation about becoming a christian. he is not a christian and neither is samuel but seems very interested in learning more. we talked a lot about how it's not works or doing good things that get you to heaven but believing that jesus paid the price of our sins. it's funny b/c he knows so much about the bible from CRE but doesn't know jesus. he wants to talk more but was a bit reserved about asking anymore questions today. so i'm planning to bring popo or victor back with me next week, cook with them, and let them ask away. i want a local person with me b/c of a slight language barrier. and also b/c i think they will be able to help me out with questions that i'm not able to answer. after all i'm not a biblical scholar and 2 brains are better than one. please pray for the conversations we have with them that God will speak through us. these people are hungry for christ b/c they struggle so much in life and i want so much for them to experience this hope and joy.

i had another great conversation with a random man while stuck in the jam on the way home. yes they just say "jam" not traffic or traffic jam. we talked about what i was doing and his time traveling abroad. i'm learning that long bus rides really can be a blessing. it's all about perspective. keep that in mind today and be blessed!

Count your blessings

2008-12-01T08:20:00.000-08:00

there are days and moments where i wonder if i can take anymore. i spent hours waiting around for people and events to start on saturday. my body hurt. i kept thinking about how i could be in bed sleeping. then i take in the situation (knowing that kids are glad i'm there), take a look around, and realize that i have no reason to be complaining. how can i be upset when i'm so blessed? God has provided so much for me and i often fail to acknowledge it. dottie really put it in perspective for me today when she was talking about how she enjoys cooking but so many times she can't make the things she wants b/c they're too expensive. she was explaining how it the price of tomatoes had risen to 5 shillings. that's less than 10 cents! that really broke my heart. i took her, emma, and their friend, Peter to eat ethiopian food. (by the way, please we need to find an ethopian food in cincinnati b/c it is so amazing.) we walked past a vendor selling all sorts of odds and ends, one of them being a laundry basket. she started talking about how she really wants one of these and keeps telling herself that she will save up and buy one. i've never heard anyone talk about wanting a laundry basket. she was telling me about how she got fired from her job teaching b/c she was very vocal about some of the problems with the school. i think she was hardly being paid anyway, and i'm sure whatever she was speaking about was probably something that needed to be voiced. but she has interviewed for another job which would start when the new term begins in january and this sounds promising. she was telling me about how it could interfere with having surgery on her wrist. she broke her wrist some time ago and it hasn't healed correctly, so she needs to have surgery. but she hasn't been able to have surgery b/c she has no money. the way she told me about this though, she didn't ask for me to help her. she trys not to be reliant on mzungus. but i'm going to use some of the money you all have donated to help her have this done. like everything else, it's pretty inexpensive by american standards.

emma and i had a good discussion on the way to meet here about empowering people. she was so encouraging saying that the kids in kibera really admire mzungus b/c they are willing to just sit, talk, and listen to them. i was saying that i get discouraged sometimes b/c i wonder if anything i'm doing is really helping. mostly i'm learning that i am completely powerless to make any sort of change. it is only God's power that will make any difference in the long run. emma said that even if it's just small seeds that God is using me to plant, that kids will remember. we were talking about how most kids have lots of knowledge about the bible (better than in america) here b/c they have Christian religious education (CRE) in school. but when it comes to applying it, it's an entirely different story. often when i ask them questions about how something applies to their life, no one can answer.

i made christmas cards with the juvenile kids today. they don't know how to address an envelope, which i quickly learned. they have the hardest time sharing supplies, and that's a constant struggle. but they really loved doing this. i told them i would mail them to anyone in kenya, friends, family. many of them wanted them sent to their pen pals in america. emma and dottie were telling me how important it is that we try to keep the penpals thing going after i leave b/c this is a big deal to these kids. i really need to work on finding someone local to help me with this. i certainly don't want all these projects to simply fall apart.

meat, police, and peanut butter

2008-11-28T06:20:00.000-08:00

MEAT:
well, i must say that if i had to spend thanksgiving apart from y'all, then the next best thing was the way i spent last night. victor, jane, and i went to eat at carnivore. we didn't tell jane where we were taking her, so i think it was a pretty fun suprise for her. carnivore is known to be one of the 50 best restaurants in the world (at least that's what i read somewhere), and i'd say it lives up to the hype. i didn't know much of what to expect so that made it even better. i think if we tried to live without expectations we'd be happier people and get much more excited about things.

anyway, the place is very african safari looking, with all the waiters wearing african print tops in brown colors. the light fixtures are all made of guords that have holes drilled in them to let out the light (super artsy, i loved it). there is a set menu; so you eat what they bring you. first was some sort of fried cornbreadish something with guacamole. then bread and soup. then they bring out this pyramid thing of different sauces for you to eat with each kind of meat. then a baked potato (very exciting, as this is NOT something kenyans eat) with SOUR CREAM...i don't even eat sour cream on my potato, but i did last night b/c i haven't had it for 5 months. then comes the meat. there are lots of waiters who just walk around cutting off various types of meat for you to try...chicken, ostrich, lamb, crocodile, beef, turkey (victor's favorite and first time to try it; very appropriate as it was thanksgiving), and pork. i really liked the ostrich, both the plain kind and the ostrich meatball. and whatever kind of sausage we had was amazing. when you've had your fill of meat, you put the little carnivore flag from the pyramid down. then they bring dessert, which you get to choose. i had cheesecake, which tasted more like custard but was still very good. victor had pineapple pie (he was a bit confused as to why it was served warm) and jane had the blondie brownie with ice cream. there was live music and african dancing towards the end of the meal, and this was the first time i've seen more than 10 mzungus in one day (the restaurant was packed with them). victor spotted some important parliament government person leaving with a group of chinese people. so yeah it was pretty sweet and i'm so glad that victor and jane got to come along. victor had said something to me a while back about how he'd given directions for lots of MSTs to get to carnivore but had never been there himself. it was definitely a day to thank God for ....for the food, the people, and for a phone call from people from home. and we took a taxi home (much safer at that hour) and whenever i'm in a car i'm always thankful that i get to wear a seatbelt...seriously, i mean i never wear one in a matatu, so little things get me excited.

Policemen:
our matatu got pulled over on the way to town today. the cop took away the keys, so pretty much we were stranded. the conductor tells everyone something in swahili and people start getting out. i assumed i'd have to walk the rest of the way into town. that would have been a long walk and i was only about 75% sure of where to go. i followed everyone else that got out (a favorite strategy of mine). and fortunately the conductor found us a new matatu, paid the driver for the rest of our ride, and we made it safely to town. that was really nice of him b/c usually they just leave you on the side of the road to fend for yourself.

Peanut butter:
today i was at BOLM. it was one of the best days there. popo, alex, rodgers, and eric did the mandazi skit...have i mentioned this before? it was hilarious as always. we talked to them about thanksgiving and thanking God for our blessings. then we played that silly turkey game again. afterwards i taught the kids to make no bake cookies. they got to have them with milk later, which was quite a treat. most of them have never tasted peanut butter. so i went around and put a spoonful on each of their fingers (we didn't have any bread). they all got to try it and loved it. i'm thinking we'll have to make pb&j one of these days. then i brought beads for them to make jewelry with. they are amazing and know how to make all kinds of cool bracelets and rings. they taught me to make this braclet with all these loopy circle looking things. seriously, you could sell this stuff in the u.s. at the end they burn the ends of the string so the bracelet won't fall apart. only i was wearing the bracelet and it wouldn't go over my wrist. so steven, one of the boys, brings this burning coal and holds it close to my wrist to burn the ends. it was so hot, so naturally i started yelling. quite funny. rodgers and i stayed and ate githeri with them. they seemed quite happy to see me eating mwafrika (african) food. i kept teasing zekayo (my favorite little boy) b/c he is always smiling. i asked him if he could make a sad face. but he couldn't and just kept laughing and i thought maybe he would choke on his maize. part of me wonders how i'll ever be able to leave these kids. they are so precious and appreciative. i feel so fulfilled going there and just loving them as christ would. can i please stuff a few into my suitcase?

Pin the Beak on the Turkey

2008-11-27T05:50:00.000-08:00

okay, please help me out here...do turkeys even have beaks? i start imagining things when i'm away from the familiar. i had the kids at both juvenile homes play pin the beak on the turkey. this was quite a smashing success i think. it was a bit crazy b/c we did this with 5 groups of kids (that's about 3 hours total) of 20 each. and of course we had a few peakers. but we solved this by giving a prize to the person who actually put the beak the farthest away from the right spot b/c at least those people were honest. in any case, they had fun laughing at each other. i told them all about american thanksgiving, the pilgrims, and giving thanks to God. then this afternoon i brought beads and string and they were all making bracelets, necklaces, rings, etc. they were so into this, so i guess we'll have to do some more next week.

yesterday i was meeting elizabeth to see her sister's baby. she surprised me by kidnapping ruth and sam and bringing us all to her house to celebrate thanksgiving. i thought that was super nice of her. since she lived in america for so long, she understands that it's a big deal.

more car stories...last week, i'm guessing it was an undercover policeman that tried to get our matatu driver to pull over and stop. the guy refused, so the cop started reaching inside the matatu to pull the keys from the ignition. the driver then rolled up the window so he couldn't get in. pretty funny. then a few days ago, the police were stopping buses, which is really rare. usually there's a worker on the bus who is always standing to let people on and off and collect money. apparently though, they are supposed to have a seat. so our bus driver quickly made some passengers get off, so that we didn't have too many people. then we let these people back on as soon as we got around the corner. last night victor, milham, and i were riding home with some people and another car bumped into us. i couldn't even feel it, so i think the damage was pretty minor. but our driver was really mad b/c the other guy didn't pull over. so he pulled right in front of him at an angle and parked so that the guy was forced to stop. it turned into this 2 hour ordeal b/c they couldn't come to an agreement. the cops came. then we went to the police station and waited ages for them to sort it out. i think it took abotu 2 1/2 hours to get home.

please continue to pray for my health guys. i'm still feeling exhausted and completely drained. but God is good and i trust that i will get through this.

Lost

2008-11-26T02:10:00.000-08:00

people have a very strange way of telling you that you're losing weight in kenya. one day i came home and amie said, "you're cutting back." i thought she meant that i was doing as much, was coming home early. and that was true. i hadn't been feeling that well, so i was trying to rest a bit more. but, no, she meant that i was losing weight. then last week, i went to blue house and one of the teachers said, "you've lost." i stupidly said, "i've lost what?" again, he meant losing weight. anyway, i don't know why people think this b/c it's not true. if i've lost any weight, it would mean i'm back to the size i was when i got here. there's no way you could lose weight here b/c all we eat is carbs. i'm thinking i could easily become a vegetarian now :) okay maybe not. afterall, i am going to carnivore tomorrow, a famous restaurant, where they mostly serve meat. i think i'll make up for what i've missed the past 5 months :)

speaking of blue house, when i was there on friday passing out the penpal letters, i walked into the classroom to find that teacher smacking this girl on the head. he didn't seem the least concerned that i was observing this. i hate how they discipline kids here. the fact that this is a christian school really gets to me even more. and i think it makes it harder for me to gain kids' respect b/c i don't carry around a cane, so they're not afraid of me.

did i mention that the matatu conductor that sits in the back of the van and takes money frequently hangs out from the side of the vehicle? yeah, they run and jump into the vehicle while it's moving. yesterday the guy was hanging out the door, leaning from the outside into the front passenger's window, and holding open the sliding door with his foot, all while having a conversation while moving. now that's talent.

the house has been quite full. milly, a girl from kibera, was staying with us to watch elisha while maxine went to kisumu. annie and fairburn, more of peter's siblings, have been staying with us the past few days. they're all leaving with maxine tonight though to go to mombasa. i'm a bit sad for her to go b/c she's so funny. found out that her husband is nigerian and i guess they're planning to move back to africa soon.

baraka's birthday

2008-11-22T08:11:00.000-08:00

today was baraka's 2nd birthday. amie's sister and her kids came over. we had cake , cookies, and crisps. i thought it was funny that one of their traditions is to let the birthday kid make the first cut in the cake. it was more like baraka was stabbing the cake with this huge knife. we played musical chairs, simon says, and a game sort of like "i have never." what i appreciate about people here is that they get really excited about simple games and are easily entertained. even the adults were cracking up playing simon says. that would never happen in the U.S.

last night i stayed with maria...it was a nice chance to get away and sleep in a very comfortable bed, take a shower, and eat vegetables. her neice was there and is getting ready to move with her family to the u.s. she is very nervous about it, so i spent a long time answering some of her questions.

this morning i went to kibera and made soup (yes thank you lots for the recipe heather) for nerea (the cook from sarah junior) and some neighbors. i'm not sure that they like it that much, but they all at least tried it. i think people have a very hard time eating new things, more than americans. b/c their diet is so simple and limited. mostly it's all carbs.

on friday i was at BOLM. the kids were supposed to have a program for parents at 10. i guessed it would start by 11 or 12 since it is africa afterall. instead, we left at 3 and it still hadn't started. TIA. we had fun though tie dying bandanas with the kids, playing games, and they fed us lunch. i had the opportunity to chat for a while with steven, a 15 year old there. he was saying that it's much better for him to be at this place than at his home. i seriously want to adopt some of these kids; they are so stinking cute. also, i passed out the pen pal letters to the students this week. they were all immensly excited. i must apologize b/c there was no time for proofreading, so the writing is atrocious. and there was a slight problem with some of these boys have crushes on the girls who sent pictures...you should read one of their letters; it's quite entertaining...drama.

thursday morning i was walking to get on a matatu. i am constantly looking behind me to make sure someone isn't out to steel my stuff, ever since being mugged. so anyway, i saw someone coming up behind me really fast and then he put his hands over my eyes. and i jumped in fright only to find out that it was my friend andrew. i think he felt bad that he scared me. it was just very unexpected for him to be near my house b/c he lives in kibera.

wednesday was graduation for the class 8 students at juvenile. i had tears in my eyes when they all stood up in front of the parents. i'm really sad to see them go. again, this program was supposed to start at 10. it started at 12:30. one of the boys told me he had no pants to wear home (they just have school uniforms that they are given to wear). he was leaving in the morning, and i wasn't sure how i was going to get pants on such a short notice. so victor gave me some of his pants to take to him the next morning. i'm not even sure if they fit the kid, but probably someone will wear them. it's very humbling how victor can just part with his clothes b/c he really doesn't have that many and i know he liked those jeans. so i'm hoping to buy him some new ones here.

some funny things:
a sign in the matatu says "no smoking, oxygen in use."
the bus driver today called the crosswalk a "zebra crossing." i had no idea what he was talking about (they pronounce zebra with a short e)
did i mention that goalith is pronounce (goalie ith)

Mamba Village

2008-11-18T06:42:00.000-08:00

Today we took the Sarah Junior kids on a field trip since it's the last week of school. we went to mamba (meaning crocodile) village, which is in Karen, the ritzy part of the city. it was so interesting observing the kids' reactions to everything. first was the bus trip. imagine at least 4 kids sitting in the two bus seats (like one american school bus seat). i had a kid on my lap and we were all piled in. most of them never ride on a bus b/c they never can afford to leave kibera. one kid was crying b/c he was afraid. i was so excited b/c they started singing the songs from the CDs i gave them (thanks ash) like the ABC rap and jungle safari.

when we went into the place most of the kids were scared to death of the animals (there were crocodiles, ostriches, rabbits, and some native birds). the guide would poke the crocs with a stick to get them to move and show their teeth. in turn, the kids all jumped back from the fence and some were even hiding behind me. they also got to go on a boat ride (the lake there was designed in the shape of africa), a horse ride (many were too scared to do this), the jumpy bounce thing (again some kids were afraid), and a few rides. the rides were hilarious. picture this miniature ferris wheel that a guy turns by hand to get it to move. most of them liked that. then came the swings. imagine rickety looking seats, paint chipping, etc. most of the kids liked it when it was going slow. but then they started going fast a bunch of them were crying, so they had to stop the ride. i opted not to ride, as i get motion sickness easily from spinning. this was a wise choice b/c matroba (one of the teachers) was so sick afterward and laid down on the ground.

for lunch, they got soda and chips (french fries), a huge treat for them. this girl spilled her plate of chips and broke the plate; no biggie right--i mean that's totally an amy back move. but no, as a punishment the teachers made her wait like 20 minutes before she could havea new plate of food. i think this was so mean b/c it was totally an accident. man, i'm thinking of all the stuff i've broken in the back household...like when my skiis knocked that plate off the wall. not to mention how many cups and plates i've broken.

victor and i also spent a long time last night making samosa for them. samosa is an indian food. sort of like a wonton on the outside but filled with hamburger, cumin, and onion. and then fried, of course, b/c everything is fried here. i had so much fun learning to make them. you make the dough first and then you have to cook it a bit on the chapati pan. then you cut them into the right shape and fill them with meat. victor was up until 1 a.m. finishing them. he used to have to make 300 of them everyday he says when he lived with an aunt or something. this was while he was going to school, and he never got paid anything for doing it. he says he doesn't regret it though b/c it has shaped who he is. he's definitely an expert. we got up this morning and fried them. he let me get creative with the extra dough. i put cinnamon, sugar, and butter on it, then rolled it up like a cinnamon roll and we fried it. it was pretty good. it occured to me this morning, as we were standing on the back "patio", rather the cement behind the house, and frying the samosa on the jiko, that you all would find this so strange. that we don't have a stove and are outside cooking. but i realized that it's so normal for me now. a jiko is a little "stoveish" thing that you fill with charcoal and light. when we're out of gas in the house we use this. or if you live in kibera that's all you use. the gas, is like a propane tank with a little ring on the top that serves as a burner for setting the pan. this tank sits on the floor, or sometimes we put it on a stool so you don't have to bend over so much.

forgot to mention that on monday at juvenile, when i got there all the kids were doing chores to get the place ready for parents day. fine, except, they give these kids these crazy dangerous tools, called slashers. they're sort of like a long machete, but not as sharp and with a rounded end. they use them for chopping down weeds. but after the kids were down hacking stuff down a bit of chaos set in. one boy victor, was mad at rashid, and proceeded to start hitting him in the shins with it. i had to break up the fight, but i really thought that at any minute victor was going to start swinging it again. another kid had a pair of huge bush trimmers. he had them opened and hanging around his neck in a way that looked like he was going to cut his head off. obviously, he was just trying to be goofy, but still. craziness. did i mention that dennis was hanging from the bars on the ceiling to hang up the paper chains we made. yep, he climbs up a door and then supports himself with his feel against the wall and his hands clinging to the bars. i so thought he was going to fall. and he would have if oscar hadn't pulled him down. instead oscar opted to stand on a chair and hold a kid on his shoulders to tie up the chains. it's funny b/c i know i'd get sued if something like this was happening in my american classroom. TIA

Guacamole Madness

2008-11-17T03:36:00.000-08:00

Okay, so i tried to do something nice for the class 8 kids at juvenile kids, so i thought i'd have them make guacamole. everything went pretty well at first. they were all chopping up the tomatoes and avocados and onions. then before they ate, i gave them this speech about how much i enjoyed working with them and the importance of surrounding yourself with positive people when they return home, blah, blah. anyway, then i showed them how we eat the guac on the crisps. we didn't have any plates so i reasoned that they could just dip the crisps into the big bowl of guac. I HAVE NEVER SEEN FOOD DISAPPEAR THIS FAST, EVER!!! as soon as i gave them the chips they all hoarded around the bowl and started sticking their entire hand into the guac and crisps. it was nuts and everything was gone in about 2 minutes. lovely.

saturday i made zuppa toscana (the olive garden soup) for popo, emma, eric, ken, and julius at popo's house. and we made chapati too. it was pretty cool b/c we made so much soup that we were able to pass it out to lots of the neighbors. i was a bit bummed that emma and ken refused to even have one taste of it. i tried to kid them saying, "i've eaten your food for the last 5 months and you won't even taste some of mine." but they refused, so whatev i guess.

yesterday i finished what i hope will be the end of blood tests at the hospital. while waiting for the results, i went to Java ( the american coffee place) and ate a bagel (heavenly), read my bible, and journaled. it was heavenly. i really needed some good quite God time, but sometimes it's hard to do that at church here. the service is so long and partly in swahili. plus, things start to really irritate you. like last week, the head teacher of the school got up at church to talk about the importance of education. then proceeded to say that if you don't send your kids to school you're going to hell....um, what the heck???? that is so not biblical. so i have to tune some of these things out although not all churches are like this.

by the way mom, the letters have arrived...have to go pick them up from the post office right now. just in time...the kids are leaving juvenile on wednesday.

Healing is on the way!!!!

2008-11-14T07:28:00.000-08:00

hallelujah! praise God !!! the doctor has finally determined that i have h. pylori, a bacterial infection in my stomach. it turns out i never had malaria, ever and that i have been misdiagnosed by another clinic 3 times!!! craziness. i'm so relieved and hoping to be feeling better quickly. i can't tell you how freaked out i've become about this in the past month. despite that what i was doing during october, was in some ways the best month yet, i have felt so blah, that it has been wearing me down emotionally. the doctor thinks i may be suffering from a bit of anxiety, which is causing other problems as well. which makes a lot of sense. i would wake up in the middle of the night and open my bible to psalm 41 and pray "the lord will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness." (thanks immensley to the beccaccio family for that verse!). at one point i really wondered if i was going to die in Kenya. i know that sounds funny and extreme now, but i just kept thinking, oh my goodness, how can i still have malaria. it is going to kill me. (when the last lab guy took my blood he said, "i bet you don't have malaria." i asked why and he said, "you'd already be dead if you had it for this long." yeah, that was super comforting :) of course he was right though.) i spent a lot of time praying to God and pleading that i didn't want to die before i saw my family again, but i also reached the point where i thought, you know if this is God's plan, then i have to be fine with that. Popo, julius, rodgers, and a few other people on the team have been graciously praying for me the past few weeks. i stayed home all day yesterday and popo, eric, and gabby came to visit me and even brought black currant fanta, my fave. tara decorated my room with all kinds of fun get well signs and we even spent one evening singing "my favorite things" and "the sun will come out tomorrow." but it's not really as bad as it sounds. honestly, physically i haven't felt as bad as i have emotionally and mostly i've been trying to carry on as normal. i think being sick has really helped me rely on God much more. and showed me that i truly am powerless without God and that i have all sorts of pride issues that i need to deal with. please pray that i will recover quickly and be rejuvenated. Gabby called today and said that she had malaria. i told her to go get a second opinion...i'd say she definitely doesn't have it. pray for her too please.

i was so happy to go see the kids at BOLM today. they were all sad that we couldn't come last week, and it was great being back.

culture, masks, my health

2008-11-12T03:57:00.000-08:00

Sunday, Popo, Emma, Jany, Gabby, Julius, and Alex, a Canadian girl, went to this cultural fest that was taking place downtown. It was super awesome. there was lots of singing and dancing, a band from columbia, a chinese dance group using techno sounding chinese music, and many other local groups. there were these acrobats where one guy held up 6 people. they would just run and jump up on each other and instantly be 3 people tall. my fave had to be this guy that imitated michael jackson...hilarious. i didn't know what the song was at first b/c lots of people in the group were dressed like masai men, and it was all serious until they started singing, "it don't matter if you're black or white."

monday the juvenile kids finished decorating their masks and they look super sweet. they really came up with a lot of creative ideas. they also told me that the poster we made together for the contest won. i was in shock. i started jumping up and down b/c i saw the rest of the posters and didn't really think ours was that great. yesterday i made guacamole for a group of women in kibera. they ate it up very fast and liked it i think, although they thought it was so strange when i first started making it. on monday night, i stayed with tara and some of her kenyan friends. we made them fajitas and guacamole too. they also loved it. the one girl has traveled all over for various missions...china, u.k., etc. i enjoyed hearing her stories and was so interested in what she was saying about christians in china. she was explaining that even though people can be persecuted for their faith, that the church was more alive and vibrant there than anywhere else.

i have spent much of today and yesterday at doctor's offices. i would really appreciate your prayers for my health. it has turned into this forever long saga that i don't want to get into. so to keep it short basically a few weeks ago i was treated for malaria on 2 different occasions with medication and shots. i still wasn't feeling better yesterday, so i went to see a specialist--an italian doctor who is known to be an expert in malaria and other diseases. after checking my blood (by 2 different people) they said i definitely did NOT have malaria. praise God for that!!! so they are running lots of other tests. but it could be that i have now had so much wrong medication dumped into my system that it's making me ill. i haven't mentioned all of this before b/c i know that westerners freak out when they hear about malaria. so please join me in praying that they will find out what, if anything is wrong. God is good even when i'm sick, and i know that this is all happening for a reason. my faith has been strengthened through all of this despite that it is dampening my spirits a bit.

Chapati Making

2008-11-08T07:21:00.001-08:00

This afternoon has been a glorious time of cooking chapati. I went to Popo's house with Elisha, Julius, Andrew, and 2 muzungus, Gabby from Utah, and Jany from New Zealand. Popo gave us a tour around Kibera and then we spent the next few hours cooking. I think maybe i would be able to cook chapati at home now. I really enjoyed talking with Jany. She is volunteering outside of nairobi at an orphanage and seems really sweet. she's not a christian, and i think it's been quite an experience for her living with a family who prays a lot and is always going to church. she will be here until february too, so i'm hoping to see more of her. i was impressed that upon jany and gabby's first visit to kibera they were willing to eat food made there. many muzungus would not do that. in the morning i went to another high school where the juvenile boys were having a competition. it was a gathering for AIDS awareness and they took the posters we made. i felt bad for them b/c first they show up, and the teacher met them there so they had to come in a matatu by themselves. all the other schools have nice uniforms and most of theirs are missing buttons, torn, etc. i was excited though to see most of them wearing the socks that i gave them. i wondered where the socks had gone, and i'm learning that sometimes when you give people stuff they save it for nice occasions. and remarkably many of them had nicer tennis shoes i had never seen before either. but all these other schools had loads of posters. we had 3. oh well. the event was supposed to start at 8:30. i got there at 8:20; no one was there. the boys came around 9. at 10:30 i had to leave and they hadn't even started. TIA (THis is africa).

yesterday was graduation for the ICY class students (the one i taught twice at). there were 5 graduates and they all wore gowns. the celebration/ceremony was held at this restaurant near the office. i think this is a big deal for the 5 of them b/c most of them don't have jobs, so this gives them a since of purpose/accomplishment. the class is aimed at helping these people to serve as christian youthworkers. jane and sally were in this class.

obama the musical

2008-11-06T07:47:00.000-08:00

to celebrate Obama day here we did a program with the kids at juvenile about change...the obama slogan. popo talked with them about how christ can change them (romans 12:1), renew them, etc. for the art activity i gave them a pile of trash and junk and told them to change it into some sort of sculpture. this was partially successful...again the language barrier can be an issue. there were some creative ones and some blah ones, but overall they seemed interested. in the afternoon i went to the other juvenile school. i spent a long time talking with Eric. his mom lives in america, according to him. i think that's actually true too b/c he spent a long time explaining how he lived in the states for a year, offering proving details. like how he enjoyed going to old country buffet and eating macaroni and cheese. i had them paint the paper mache masks. mostly we turned a lot of the grass outside blue and yellow and mixed the paint to nasty brown colors. but again, i think they had fun. it's a huge challenge painting there b/c it's hard to find water. with another group of kids we worked on this poster for a contest on saturday. the poster was about AIDS. i had them write "face the facts about AIDs" then we glued one of the masks to the center and wrote a list of facts underneath. the mask looks a little goofy there b/c it's painted all random sorts of colors and hardly looks like a face. it's quite random but i was feeling rather brain dead.

last night i went to watch Obama the musical with popo, sam, and vincent. hilarious!!! so quirky and random. there was lots of african dancing, my favorite part. one fave line i remember was "you are the omena (fish) in my soup" which was obama's father speaking about his wife. i'm not sure this play would have flyed in america. there was one song all about how obama was not the same as osama even though some people thought that. the guy who played mccain was so funny trying to imitate his mannerisms. i was confused at who everyone was for a while b/c all the characters were black, even mccain and palin. and the mccain guy was really tall. he came marching in at the beginning with all these army troops. the whole thing really didn't talk that much about obama's life except for his kenyan roots. but i truly loved it. before it started there was a group of guys playing these jimbae (sp?) drums outside the venue. it was so awesome watching them. popo thinks they're around every week so i would love to go back. the bathrooms at this place were super sweet too with rock walls and countertops. i felt very cultured yesterday.

on sunday on my way home, the matatu driver would not give me my change of 50 shillings. this is less than a dollar, but a lot of money for people here. it really irritated me b/c people are always trying to rip off americans. i'm not sure if he really didn't know that he owed me that or if he was just trying to make some money. but when it was time to get off i debated this for a bit until i realized there was no way i was going to win. so i frustratedly said, "fine, you may be lying but God knows the truth" and i marched down the street to my house. okay, so maybe a bit preachy, but again, i get tired of being the stupid white girl walking around.

OBAMAMANIA!!!

2008-11-05T04:42:00.000-08:00

Truly it is crazy and exciting here today after Obama's win. Yesterday CNN was aired on a local channel all day, so I caught pieces of it here and there. everyone was psyched b/c they kept showing clips of people in kenya from obama's grandmother's village. there's even a huge billboard in kisumu with his picture on it. and they had a mock vote in kisumu where people filled out obama's name on slips of paper and put them into a cardboard box. i bought a newspaper yesterday...there was a 16 page pullout insert in the middle all covering obama. crazy! Milham was glued to the screen last night. he kept standing right next to the t.v. peter had to ask him twice to please come sit on the couch. i went to bed feeling pretty confident that Obama was going to win. At 7 a.m. Popo calls and wakes me up saying, "hey are you watching the news." to which i replied, no i'm sleeping. and he says, "go turn on the news right now." 15 minutes later i woke up and had a text from Julius, one of the cool teachers at the blue house. it said "congratulations on your new president. god bless america." when i went downstairs everyone was up...peter, milham, victor, leon...all watching the news. i heard most of the acceptance speech in the midst of brushing my teeth. walking to the matatu this morning everyone kept saying things about obama "let's give a wave for obama" etc. people were all wearing their t-shirts. oh, and tomorrow has been declared a public holiday b/c of obama. i had a long conversation with a pastor i randomly met on the way. he was super excited and wants me to come speak to the youth at church (doesn't everyone...comes with being white). the acceptance speech was played over again on the radio on the matatu ride to town. there's a guy talking about it on his cell phone right now. if i didn't know better i'd think i was in america right now. the kids at blue house started clapping and cheering when i talked about obama. with one class, i decided the reading lesson would be using 2 obama newspaper articles...i knew that would interest them. so yes, people are quite excited here.

yesterday someone stopped me in kibera and asked why i wasn't voting, to which i explained i already had. popo tells me on election day here everything is closed. and that policemen and military people can't vote here. interesting.

on my ride into town yesterday, a red VW golf car flags down our matatu driver with a walkie talkie and makes us pull over. must have been an undercover policemen. he pulls our driver out of the car, and yanks him back towards his car. seriously, 2 guys were forcing him to come. i thought for sure that they were going to arrest him. but he showed his ID and it must have been the wrong guy they were looking for. so shortly afterwards we left. only to soon have another traffic cop hitting our driver and the conductor with their stupid little batons. this would definitely be harrassment in the u.s.

speaking of hitting, caning is a very common thing in schools here...as in spanking kids, but with a stick. and we're talking all age of kids. now i was spanked as a kid, and i think i turned out okay, but i think spanking older kids is ineffective. especially b/c it gets to be effective. and kids only seem to respect teachers b/c they're afraid of being caned. oscar (the spanish guy at the juvenile) witnessed someone being caned for the first time and was understandably very upset about it. we had a long chat about whether or not we should say something to the principal. it's hard b/c you can't go in demanding people change everything. but at the same time, many of these kids often get into fights and so seeing violence makes them think that it will solve problems. plus some of these kids are 17...that's pretty old to be caning kids, don't you think. oscar and i were discussing that there were lots of other more effective punishments they could do...like putting them to work around the school.

that same day i paper mached with the kids and was covered with flour when i went home. people hate being dirty here, so them seeing me was a bit of a shock i think. one kid told me i wasn't very clean. peter's sister from england has come to stay with us, and i think she thought i was crazy when i walked in the door. she said, well maybe next time you could put a wrap around you. and i replied, that i didn't really mind being dirty, i was very used to it from teaching art at home. her name is maxine and she brought her son, elisha with her. i can't exactly figure out what the story is on her. she's staying with us for at least a few months. i think she's still on maternity leave and that's why she's come back to visit. not sure if she's married or what...i'm guessing not; divorced? don't know that it would be appropriate to ask.

bathrooms in kibera

2008-11-01T04:42:00.000-07:00

the wild things appeared yesterday at BOLM. we made paper plate wild thing masks and hung them up inside one of the buildings there. i think this was the first time some of them had ever painted and they loved it. i was so happy b/c they have lots of artwork up in their classroom from previous weeks. i feel so much more appreciated there than anywhere else. i totally want to adopt one of the little boys there. he couldn't stop laughing at Popo's jokes, and he has the most beautiful smile. sometimes i find it difficult to believe that these kids can have such smiling beautiful faces and positive spirits after everything they've been through. one of the teachers told us we could even stay there a night if we wanted. i really kind of want to. i think it would be very difficult b/c it's definitely roughing it conditions. but i'm sure it would be like a big slumber party for them. speaking of sleeping in difficult places, tara was telling me her experinence of staying in kibera. it was nearly time for her to go to sleep and she needed to use the bathroom. the girl she was staying with told her that all the bathrooms were locked and that she would have to just use the street! so the girl kept watch and tara tried to use the street. but she said, i just couldn't do it. and so she waited 9 hours to use the bathroom. then in the morning she experienced using the "showers" there. it's not a shower, but just a small outhouse like room where you take the basin of water. the door didn't lock, so you can imagine how she felt. i really admire tara b/c she's planning on eventually living in kibera for a long period of time b/c she feels that's the best way to minister to people there and really understand the needs and gain their respect. i was surpised b/c tara's been here lots before and still hasn't ever used the bathroom in kibera, but i have 3 times. she told me that was impressive. i think i'm learning to ignore smells :) be thankful for the running water that you have. oh, and i took a hot shower twice this week. that's a new record!

tara and I celebrated halloween by going to Java Coffeehouse to eat last night. it's by far the best american food here. it's a chain started by someone from california. i always appreciate being able to eat salad, and this is the only safe place to do that in the city. everyone here thinks halloween is evil here, so we don't really talk about it much. except with victor and ruth who are more understanding. but, i can partly understand why they have issues with it. witchcraft is a huge thing here, and yes it really exists. peter told us this story of during the election violence how someone stole a t.v. from the supermarket, and using witchcraft someone put a spell on this person. then the t.v. was stuck to this person's body. no one could get it off of him until he took it back to the owner. everyone here can vouch that this is true. crazy right? so that's why people are very skeptical about halloween, and there's some things i'd rather not debate about. so i just don't bring them up.

apparently joy has colic, which makes since b/c i often hear her screaming at night. but mostly i just fall back asleep. i think amie is awake for most of the night though.

saying no

2008-10-31T00:55:00.000-07:00

We have nearly finished the mural now, just touch ups left. The head teacher asked if we could now paint the outside of the building. Um...no way! this has been a struggle enough trying to reach up so high, and i must learn to say no sometimes. i've been reading max lucado's book "in the eye of the storm" and he talks one chapter about saying no. that sometimes there are perfectly good requests that you have to turn down for the sake of balancing the rest of your life. it's funny that i've already gotten myself into over committments here. imagine that in the slow world of africa! i'm realizing that i need to focus in more on a few things that i'm good at instead of trying to do everything. there's been some things that i haven't been able to go to here that i wanted to, but i've seen that these things carry on just fine without me. i know this is so obvious, but i definitely have a bad habit of revolving things around myself instead of around God.

Matt is on his way home tomorrow. I can't believe how super fast this month flew by. I think b/c I have been the busiest this month and have been more focused on doing things that are really up my alley.
God has really taught me the power of prayer in the last few weeks. I'll have many more stories to explain when I come home but I can see the evidence of how God is watching over me.

all the class 8 kids are getting ready for their final exam in 2 weeks. it's crazy how they pour themselves over old exams studying. i'm thinking this is even worse than ISTEP. parents give their kids success cards for good luck on the exam...isn't that crazy? at the school i was at this morning they're having a prayer meeting one afternoon next week to pray for all the kids and the exams. prayer is good yes, but i fear that too much emphasis is placed on this one test. so at this school this morning, this is the place with the mean head teacher, we talked about the wisemen. and for the last few times all of the muslim kids have been staying in class and seem interested. i have no expectations for them becoming christians, but i hope that seeds are being planted. right now they're only 3rd graders, so i'm sure most of their beliefs are formed by what they hear from parents. but just opening people to another perspective is good, think.

i tried french toast here last week...it was deep fried, yes deep fried! it tasted like a funnel cake without sugar. they deep fry everything here, but then again in america they deep fry twinkies, which is even worse.

funny....there's a musical starting next week in nairobi. it's called "Obama, the musical." i cut out the ad b/c it made me laugh. oh, and the government is making places or discussing the possibility of enlarging the runway in one city in case obama is elected and air force one needs to land there! i guess they think obama is going to come rushing right over or something...as if there aren't other priorities at home and the rest of the world.

millions of peaches, peaches for me

2008-10-29T07:30:00.000-07:00

Since we've been reading "James and the Giant Peach", I brought in peaches (you can find them canned here) for the kids at the juvenile and blue house to try. It's funny watching them eat them b/c they're almost afraid to taste them at first. But they all liked them, and I think they enjoyed knowing they were tasting something American. We had them make up a rap/song about the peaches using as many adjectives as possible. it worked really well on monday, but when we did it today it was rather blah b/c they spent so much time laughing at each other and being embarrassed. i'm beginning to remember why i always struggled teaching junior high.

i forgot to mention that when i first saw the picture of baby joy i commented that "she looks a little muzungu" b/c her skin is very light. victor started cracking up and then informed me that that's how all african children start out at first. amie tells me you have to look at their ears to know how their skin will finally look in a few weeks. wow, i definitely needed to be educated. clearly i'm very ignorant about some things.

when i went to church on sunday, they had a really interesting part of the service where they prayed for all the nations of the earth. they passed out lots and lots of big flags of various countries that we held as we sang and we were supposed to pray specifically for that country. we were all a bit perplexed about what country we had...we never could decide if it was rwanda or cameroon, or even something else. clearly, another thing i need to educate myself about. in any case, it was a great picture of unity and made me think about how wonderful it will be to meet so many people from all over the world when i get to heaven.

and i didn't mention that wonderful tara, upon returning from uganda, brought me cookies, yes real cookies like snickerdoodles and peanut butter ones, that she made...they had an oven there! and she brought me skittles her friend brought over from america. so yeah, i've been feeling very american with the food this week. i spent a long time talking with her about the situation at blue house last night. i ran into 2 americans who are with a u.s. organization that sponsors blue house. so i shared with them some of the problems taking place there right now. they said, they'd had this problem before and that they would look into it. they also spoke with the teachers, and i noticed a big change today. amazingly, lots of the teachers seemed to be teaching. so i think they're hoping that this organization is going to help them if they do their job. i'm hoping too. tara is meeting with an organization back home who wants to sponsor the blue house and i think they want her to help on the ground. but i think she is reluctant to get involved with this mess. that's the problem people don't understand here...that once there's corruption and broken trust, americans are hesitant to get involved again. so continue to pray for this situation, that problems would be revealed, and corruption identified. we need to fix these problems so that kids can be fed, educated, and loved.

i felt like we finally had a break through with the class 8 kids at blue house today. matt and i decided to take a new approach to our english lessons. i know that they're actually not going to learn much english in the short time we're with them. so instead, i'm hoping they learn respect and to become people of God. so we had them read a Bible story, which was good practice reading. much of their writing skills are bad b/c the grammar that they speak with is atrocious. i've never seen them listening so intently. we talked about zaccheus and stealing. and i really tried to hammer home the point that theft is bad and doesn't solve problems and makes muzungus not want to help them. then we made books from the stories they wrote about themselves. they each got a copy and got to color them. they seemed to very much enjoy reading what everyone else wrote.

I Love Kenya

2008-10-28T04:25:00.000-07:00

Today has been a sunny beautiful day here, almost 80 degrees I think, which is a huge improvement from the constant rain everyday last week. When we were at the juvenile painting last week, we couldn't hardly hear the person next to us talking b/c the rain was beating so loudly on the tin roof "Rain falls, angry on the tin roof"...is that the Edwin McCain song? In any case, I'm in a sun shiny mood too. I just started realizing in the last few days how attached I'm becoming to Kenya. I know it was an adjustment at first to be away from everything and everyone familiar, running water, an oven, etc. But there's something so satisfying about a simplistic life b/c it makes you really focus on the people around you. I'm becoming so connected with these kids and friends that I've met here. Even though things can get me down like the slowness of things, the unorganization, the constant sickness that pops up, etc. I remind myself of why I'm here. So, it hit me that it's going to be wierd/hard to leave. It's strange b/c I feel so torn between my two lives. I mean, I miss all of you at home so much, and it can be really difficult when I have no American to process things with. But I know I will miss people here too. I think this really hit me on Saturday. We were all sitting in the living room with the new baby, Joy. There was a huge feast of food--samosa, pilau, fruit, ice cream, soda, etc. Then Amie's sisters got up, and they're late 30s i'd guess...anyway, they started singing/doing this skit of songs from various countries--The Congo, Kenya, Tanzania, U.S., etc. and it was so hilarious. Helen, the main lady, would talk in these funny voices imitating different people and they were dancing around. That's really the hardest I've laughed maybe since playing "Wise or Otherwise" with the Sieberts. When they were just doing this, I thought, this isn't something I'll see in the U.S. and i'm really going to miss it. Now don't for a minute think I don't miss you. I'm soooo excited that my mom is coming over Christmas, and it will be so great for someone else to share this experience with me. wow, i'm all sappy now!

tara came back from uganda on saturday, and she'll be around the next few weeks. i was so suprised to see her sitting in the living room when i came back on saturday. i didn't realize how much i missed having an american girl around. she sounds very interested in going to BOLM, the children's home. and now everyone else is getting excited about it too. popo loves it and rodgers, another guy on the team, went on friday and said it was fantastic. popo was telling me that he really wants this to carry on after i leave. i so hope it can. i really need to work on empowering people as much as possible to lead more and continue with things that i've been doing or i fear, and popo fears, it could all fall apart when i leave. so pray with me for these people here for continuing the work. also for our organization, that they would grow and have the resources to support these various programs.

monday we nearly finished painting the mural. i think thursday will be the last day. that means four days total for working on it. that is truly, truly amazing as you all know that it took ages at mcs. we rigged up this system for reaching the top of the wall. we stacked two tables on top of each other and a chair on top of that. i wasn't sure if it would be safe but it was actually very sturdy. so that combined with taping a paint brush to a stick will work i think. we also took pictures of the kids and had them make cardboard decorated frames. they were obsessed. it's probably the only photo they have of themselves. i think i also got sad b/c i realized that the class 8 kids are leaving on nov. 15ish, which is so soon. i really love some of them, and i'll never see them again. you hope that they've changed and will be all right. i was talking to joseph, one of the boys, and he hasn't seen his family or talked to them in 2 years. he's so excited and says he knows they'll cry when they see him. i just wonder if these parents will welcome them with open arms or not. you know the story of the prodigal son in the Bible--this is my prayer for those kids. that they will be welcomed home like the dad welcomes home the son who spent all of his inheritance. please pray for them as they transition back into society. that's a lot of changes.

stolen goods, painted walls, new baby

2008-10-25T05:20:00.000-07:00

no, i didn't fall off the face of the earth, but it's been a somewhat crazy week. let's see, popo got mugged and had his phone taken, then someone stole his laundry right off the line (so lame), victor had his wallet stolen getting onto the matatu yesterday. good times. but in happy news, baby Joy has arrived. she's coming home today and we're having a party with lots of family this afternoon. baraka has been acting crazy all week; i think he knows something is up. plus he's almost two so that's part of it as well.

i thought lilian's baby was also scared of me b/c i'm white. she kept crying everytime she saw me today. but i think it was popo who started it b/c he gets really loud and acts all goofy and basically tries to scare her. it's really funny but today she didn't like it. and lilian kept saying, no it's not you, she's not afraid of muzungus, it's popo.

the mural is nearly finished at the juvenile. except that all the parts left are way, way up high. what started as a project for just part of the wall has now expanded to the entire thing, and i have no clue how to reach the top. we were standing on chairs on top of tables and that's not even close. the only ladder they have there is super sketch, so hmmm. i'm thinking of getting a paint roller and attaching it to a stick. you get creative here? the kids were freaking me out though b/c they were hanging off of doors reaching way high and one kid tried to stack another chair on top of the chair on the table. until i started frantically waving my hands yelling no, no. and then when we finished i discovered that several of them had taken paint and started painting the chairs. one was outside covered in green. most had soccer teams like manchester united painted all over them. so that was fun scrubbing it offf. the thing is that no one probably would even care b/c the furniture has graffiti all over it anyway. and the chairs are metal, painted blue and all the paint is flaking off. and no teachers are around half the time so it could be weeks before they notice anyway.