goodbye 2008

it's new years eve, a time to look back at how the year has changed us and made us grow. a look at our struggles, triumphs, and blessings. i know that the past 6 months has forever altered the ways that i view poverty, money, friendships, and my faith. i came here hoping to change people's lives in just small ways by bringing them hope, but ultimately i think it is me who has been changed and blessed the most. i guess that's what happens when you serve others--you are richly blessed. part of me wonders still what have i done here, and i'm sure you will all beg to differ. i have not been able to have people arrive on time, nor have i gotten schools to stop beating kids (one boy at the juvenile had his wrist wrapped up 2 weeks ago from where he had been caned), and i certainly haven't even made a dent in the poverty situation around me. sometimes i continue wondering if people only want to talk to me b/c they think i'm rich (a security guard at the hilton yesterday asked why i wasn't staying there. i told him i'm just a volunteer and the hilton was expensive. he said that all volunteers have money). but i pray and hope that maybe God has used me to make just a few children smile and know that He loves them.

i'm not really into making new year's resolutions...they tend to end up broken anyway. but i hope from this experience that i have learned and will continue to try to enjoy simple things in life. i experienced a christmas without many presents, and in most ways (except for being away from family) it was better. i hope that when i get home i'm better at just sitting and listening to people, as i've done often here. i hope that i remember the 2 months of sickness when i often woke in the middle of the night and prayed fervently to God for healing. i hope i remember the mice crawling in the houses of kibera, and the lack of running water in our house. i hope that i remember how often i ate rice, and how loud the matatus are. b/c by remembering these things, i will appreciate things in america more and complain less. i hope i remember how much you all have been curious about things here, eager to know more, and praying for me often. for it is your love and support that have helped me over some of the humps. i remembering talking to people last new years about coming to africa and now a year later i'm here.

so that was a bit deep, on a light hearted note, i've spent some time today pondering where the blue raspberry flavor came from. thanks so much tara for the jolly ranchers that have inspired these thoughts (we've all been eating them while playing spoons). but seriously, blue raspberries do not exist, or do they in willy wonka world or something? why couldn't the flavor just be blueberry? amie and peter thought it was a miracle i've stayed in the house today. i'm trying to force myself to rest...always a struggle for me.

forgot to mention that i took mom on a wonderful farewell ride home in a very loud matatu. somehow before this she had avoided the ones with the video screens and loud rap music with explicit lyrics. she said the bass was so loud she could feel her heart pounding. her head was touching the ceiling too. did i mention that all the rap videos have people wearing cincinnati reds hats?

Kwaheri (Bye)

I said kwaheri to mom last night. We had a very fun day in Kibera at Alex's house. We taught mom to make chapati and even sent some home with her for the Indiana folks to try. i hope it actually tastes okay after that 33 hour plane ride. and we made skyline chili. All the little kids in this area of kibera sat waiting a few houses down for us to bring them chapati. we made about 50, so there were plenty to go around. Mom really got to see some of the interior of Kibera yesterday, complete with lots of trash, flys, and kids asking "how are you?" Once you get past all the filth though and inside a house, there are always warm faces and friends welcoming you in. Vincent, who lives with Popo, came over to help and was telling us all about last christmas how him, alex, and popo got a group of street kids together, taught them about Jesus, and then fixed them food. this story is amazing to me b/c here are these guys from kibera, who have nothing by american standards, and yet they take the little that they have and give it away. wow...what an excellent example of Christ they are. popo and julius arrived later in the afternoon to tell us about their time in the village. i helped popo buy all sorts of clothes and shoes to take to them and he kept talking about how grateful they were. he said these kids have never put on a new pair of shoes before this day. we laughed too b/c he brought the older girls lots of sanitary pads. okay, yes, i was the one to get those from the store and it was quite funny buying 12 packages of pads b/c no one buys anything in bulk here. everyone in the whole store was staring at me. popo wrapped them in a dark plastic bag to carry them so no one could see inside. but the girls were so grateful b/c they hardly exist in the villages and are too expensive if they do. and i have to give popo a lot of credit b/c it was his idea and i don't know any other guys that would willingly carry around so many feminine products :) popo's house is the opposite wall of alex's. so as we cooked we kept yelling at him through the mud walls things like "hey bring us some spoons." imagine if you lived so close to your neighbors that you heard everything through the walls.

i forgot to mention about the police incident the other day, that it really didn't matter if mom had a seat belt on or not. they would have found something to charge us/ bribe us for no matter what. so don't give my mom a hard time. allen got smart about the police on the way home. he made sure to follow really closely behind a small car in front of him. this makes it less likely for them to pull you over. but when you're a lone car, you're doomed for sure. i've become so paranoid about the theft thing that i've been wearing victor's money belt around my waist. by the time i put my money and phone in it i look like i'm pregnant. my other favorite trick is stuffing everything in my bra :) (a common mzungu trick, i've noticed) sorry if this is too much information, but i think this better helps you understand my level of paranoia. i'm hoping i get over this soon b/c that belt is starting to cut off circulation and leave marks around my stomach :)

good news...it's been a whole month since i've seen a doctor! praise God for that. mom had these wierd red marks on her leg that she was worried about (but they went away) and had to drink some unboiled water. but i kept saying, just make it home. you don't want to go to the doctor here!

popo and i had a nice long lunch talking about his trip to the village. sometimes i get so depressed hearing his stories...like one lady there is now a widow b/c her husband was a preacher and someone recently poisoned him and he died. now she has 8 kids to care for on her own.

Back from Naivasha

i know you're all a bit disappointing that i haven't written as much since mom has arrived, so i'll try to catch you up. we just got back tonight from naivasha. it's a town about 1 1/2 hours away which is known for it's big lake. i was disappointed on monday b/c they canceled my reservation at the place we were supposed to stay the past 2 days b/c my phone was stolen and they couldn't reach me. so ruth spent several hours calling around trying to find a new place to stay. we finally ended up at this really nice place but it was super far up this mountain. allen, one of victor's friends, drove us there on friday. we got pulled over during the random checks by the police...the one's where you have to bribe them with money. they pull us over and i think victor, catie, and mom all weren't wearing their seatbelts. i know that sounds really bad, but it's so common. no one does b/c the one's in the matatu don't work and mom was having trouble getting her's latched. everyone else managed to quickly pull one on except mom. and for some reason he decides to pick on mom. tells us to open the car door and says he saw her just putting hers on as we pulled over. then he says he'll have to charge a fine blah, blah, blah. i don't know why but at this point i just lost it. i'm so sick and tired of the corrupt police. it would be different if they were to write some formal thing up, but we all know that guy is just going to pocket any money he takes. so as he's asking all these questions i start snapping things back and then i started crying. victor's in the front seat telling me it's going to be fine. and allen and the police go back to look in the trunk of the car. of course they're only doing this so the police can bribe them. i know it was really stupid to cry but i think if you had to put up with this nonsense all the time then you'd understand. so the policeman tells allen that he has to pay him money or he'll take us to the police station and give allen a fine for not have a fire extinguisher in the car (um, no one ever has this). so we payed about $15 and left. fortunately that was the only bad part of the trip. allen drove us to lake elementeita first where there's lots of flamingos to see. we had to jump a chinese couple's car. mom, not thinking as she gets out of the car, makes some comment aobut chinese fire drills, not even remembering that we're helping chinese people and they probably wouldn't think that's funny. lots of little kids were on the beach selling flowers made from the flamingo's feathers. we bought one and gave them each a few shillings b/c they all looked pretty poor. then it was on to the lodge. the place we stayed was off the nice paved rode. it was a 30 min trip up this really dusty mountain road. mom kept putting her shirt over her face so she didn't have to breathe all the dust. she said it was good she wore such a loose top. the food at the place was amazing, better than carnivore. we got really confused b/c the first meal they brought us a bill that was super expensive. i was confused b/c i thought the food was included but since ruth booked it i wasn't sure. we ate so much that meal that we didn't eat dinner. and we weren't prepared to spend so much money on food. finally we asked the next day and the manager and everyone apologized and gave our money back b/c it was all included. so then we ate lots and lots at all the rest of the meals. all of them were huge buffets. i was so happy to have vegetables and good meat. they had ugali last night and i passed on that. one morning we took a boat ride on the lake. our driver/guide was really friendly and knowledgeable and mom and i got our own private tour. the lake is covered with these water hyacinths that are messing up the fishing industry and animal life. they've only been here the past 20 years...some american missionary brought them to kenya to put in a pond and they spread to the lake ( why are missionaries often doing bad things?) then teddy roosevelt introduced black mouth bass here b/c he couldn't catch any of the local fish. these in turn also messed up the other fish population. seriously, the americans need to lay off :) besides the boat ride we relaxed at the pool and slept a lot and went walking. 2 of the former kenyan presidents have houses up on this mountain where we stayed! it was a relaxing 3 days for me, and i think i really needed it. plus i stood under the hot shower for a long time. my feet are looking a little less black.

we never did see the movie on tuesday b/c it was playing at a different time...T.I.A. mom keeps pronouncing this tia (like the spanish word). instead of movies we took everyone for pizza. alex said he hadn't had pizza in 4 years (b/c it's too expensive for them). i think this worked out better anyone b/c we all sat around and talked and laughed. we found out upon coming home that someone stole mom's nice shirt she was going to wear to the dinner on friday from the bag we left at BOLM. so annoying.

on christmas eve, mom and i started trying to clean up maria's house. she was scrubbing the floor and had to get new water. then in the morning she took a shower and immediately the water ran out. she felt so bad that i didn't get to take a shower on christmas, but i really didn't mind b/c i'm so used to it. i took mom to church in kibera for christmas. at the beginning of the service they hung up 4 balloons, one on each string down the aisle. they finally got the christmas lights working. sally, jane, catie, and i sang some songs in front of everyone while victor played guitar. mom got to experience the 3 hour service. but it wasn't as bad b/c the sermon was cut short b/c some kids came to sing carols. we went to the park afterwards with everyone. mom and i made them buckeyes and pasta salad. this was our christmas lunch. she put string on some foam christmas ornaments and milham and steve hung them up in the trees in the park nearby, pretty funny. we all sat around singing carols while milham played guitar and playing uno and spoons. it was a lot of fun, and mom liked it b/c everyone knows how to enjoy simple things here and there was no commercialization to get in the way. victor said it was the best christmas he ever had.

on christmas eve we had the last christmas party at the juvenile. we broke out all the model magic mom brought. everyone seemed to have fun with that (even though they stole some of it too). we gave them presents and cookies, had a lesson, and played some games. alex was telling all the kids how mom is so funny, way funnier than me. i think everyone's going to miss her. i can't believe she's leaving tomorrow. it's been lots of fun, and fortunately it won't be that much longer before i'm home and see everyone too.

it was a bit of a reality check coming back home tonight b/c the water is off and the house is full. i've been spoiled for too long.

A Dedication to the Chex Mix

I would like to dedicate the first part of this entry to the chex mix that my wonderful aunt judy sent with mom. it was a smashing hit on thursday night. so fantastic, i'm not sure how i neglected to mention it during the last post. we decided to share it with everyone before we went to maria's on saturday. everyone was a bit skeptical at first b/c it looked a bit strange to them. mom made them close their eyes and smell it before she put some in their mouths. everyone loved it. we had to hide some back for peter and milham so everyone wouldn't eat it all. when milham came he finished his share and started eating some of peter's. then peter came and amie said, "now in a marriage 2 become one and we have to share everything" and then she started eating his. she tried convincing him she didn't have any. before this we got out the christmas cd mom brought and we were all dancing around the house to "grandma got run over by a reindeer." we think we remember grandma franzman saying it was such a nice song. there was not a crumb of chex mix left and lyonne begged to have the container (the gladware) b/c it's very nice compared to most plastic containers people have.

on a sad note, last night mom and i were going home and were waiting for the bus. it was 7:30 p.m. suddenly this little voice says,"hi amy." i turn around and one of my juvenile boys is standing here in downtown nairobi by himself. my first thought was maybe he escaped. but then i found out that his parents had put him on a bus the night before. he'd been in town since 8 a.m. completely lost. he looked so scared, hadn't eaten since the day before, and had no money. his english was making it difficult to communicate. i called victor and had him come over b/c it was too dark and not safe for my mom and i to take him to the matatu stop where he needed to go. we gave him some cookies we had while we waited and he gulped them down. mom said his whole body was just shaking with fright. i'm sure he was freezing and he looked pitiful with buttons falling off his clothes. victor and jane came and got him some food and gave the conductor of the matatu directions where to drop him. what kind of parents dump their kids on a bus headed for a huge city they know nothing about? i'm guessing he's about 14. none of those boys have been to nairobi. they're from rural areas. it took me a month to learn the city. he said people kept telling him where to go in really vague directions and he just kept wondering around. this is probably one of the things that's bothered me the most since being here. but it's totally a God thing that we found him when we did. it had been such a long day but everything worked out for a reason.

i found out yesterday that when my phone was stolen the place in naivasha where my mom and i were going to stay tried to call to confirm my reservation. but since i had no phone and didn't answer they cancelled my reservation. so ruth spent a long time yesterday and this morning calling around for a new place to stay. what a disaster. i've been dealing with the dumb visa too. not going to happen. i did find someone to help me that lyonne knows from immigration but i'd have to pay another $150 and i've already payed $200. so i just decided oh, well i'm not going to tanzania. i'm just getting really frustrated with not being able to trust people and being ripped off.

on a positive note we had the christmas party at bolm today. we made lots of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. the kids were picking the bread apart and only eating one side at a time. mom did her bubble stuff, we acted out the christmas story, and everyone got presents (lots of former Back girl beanie babies in there). i think they enjoyed it a lot.

yesterday we went to juvenile and did lots of teambuilding stuff and a lesson. and we had mom try ethopian food. she said this was the food everyone was making fun of in the pictures but she liked it a lot. our stomachs seemed to be fine, so praise God i think we're through whatever we had. until yesterday we've mostly just eaten chicken noodle soup and sprite. mom's getting a kick out of all the hand washing in the sink. but she's enjoying the hot showers at maria's. she even had to walk to the supermarket herself when i was sick to get me medicine. we're breaking her in fast. we're all going to a movie as a big group. this is a treat for everyone. most of them have only been to the cinema once in their lives.

baraka is super sick, similar symptoms as us. they think it might be malaria. i'm skeptical.

lots of sickness

sorry about the delay in writing but things have been a bit crazy here. on friday we went to both juvenile homes. in the morning we had a christmas party. mom and i helped the kids make foam ornaments. this is the first day i didn't have any scissors stolen, i think b/c mom was there. alex taught the lesson and at the end we gave them gifts...paper and pens and candy. the kids were so happy. we had juice and cookies too and some of them told us this was the best christmas they'd ever had. the afternoon kids were also excited to meet mom. some wore their best shoes just for her. friday we went to bolm. they loved the parachute mom brought and painting ornaments/singing songs. mom, catie, and i stayed and ate lunch. they experienced the wonderfully bland ugali. we came back to maria's to change for the volunteer party only to discover i had left the whole bag of our nice clothes at BOLM. so we're scrambling around trying to find something to wear. i had to wear mom's capris, which were pants on me, more like high waters though. and they were falling off my waste. she let me have my christmas present from ashley ( a scarf) early so that i could wear it. we had to go buy mom some shoes to wear b/c all she had was her dirty sneakers. then we waited with everyone else at nakumatt (like walmart) for the rest of the group to pick us up. they were 2 1/2 hours late. so while waiting we were teaching alex, popo, and others the chicken dance, electric slide, etc. and they taught us some african stuff. it was a lot of fun, and it turns out the only fun i would have for the rest of the night. when the bus finally came it took us to the middle of no where for this party. it was 10 by the time we got there and we hadn't eaten since 2. i finally went to bed at 11 b/c i was exhausted. we were spending the night there, and they still hadn't eaten. then i got really sick with the chills and fever. and by the time and few hours passed i was vomiting. lovely. we had to leave early in the morning. we found someone to take us back close to maria's. on the short walk back from where we got dropped off, i kept throwing up by the side of the road. everyone was staring at me, and at one point i told mom i had to sit down on this stump by the side of the road. we laugh about this now. in any case saturday and sunday we just slept to get well. i think i'm finally a bit better today. mom is cracking up about this kenyan dressed like santa at the store b/c he's super skinny and the beard is so thin.

Tabasamu

Mom arrived safely last night. i was so excited to go pick her from the airport. we got there in time for me to just barely spot her looking for her luggage and struggling to put everything on the cart. peter could tell i was so eager for her to come out. i kept standing on my tiptoes over the crowd looking for her. last night was quite a breaking in experience for her. there's no running water at the house right now. i think this is good in a way b/c it will give her a true taste of what it's like. it felt like a big campout as we were preparing for bed with me trying to explain to her and catherine (also a hoosier that arrived yesterday) how to dip out the water from these storage containers outside. and i tucked her into her mosquito net. i think i freaked her out a bit after i told her that her skin can't touch the net or they will still bite her.

today we left super early to go decorate for tabasamu. we hung lots of tinsel and balloons in 4 various tents right by the school we volunteer at in kibera. and then started painted faces. face painting here is awesome b/c it's just lines, squiggles, and designs. much easier. we painted several hundred faces (about 6 of us were working on this) in maybe an hour and a half. the kids were super excited about this. i had a near very bad experience when dumping out the dirty face paint water. i just dumped it out the window of the school. you have to understand that there's no grass or sinks or good places for it to go so this seemed fine to me. i looked out the window when i dumped the first containers and it was fine. but the last one i dumped from a different window. a few minutes later a man peaked his head in the window and told me to come here. i looked out and the nasty purple water had splashed onto this sweater that fell off the clothesline. i felt super bad b/c he probably doesn't have many clothes. i kept saying "pole sana" i'm very sorry. i volunteered to wash it out but he said no. so i took ruth back to his house a few minutes later. he was then pretty nice about it. he'd already washed it out and it came out. and ruth thinks the sweater was actually a rag. the man said, "it's fine. we're all christians. i can forgive you." i felt better after that and it didn't spoil the day.

there was lots of entertainment throughout the event. mostly popo and alex making jokes in swahili. they pulled me alone up on stage twice to dance in front of over 500 people. it was quite funny. then mom, catherine, and i led some christmas songs in the afternoon. this went less than stellar b/c the kids don't know any of the words. they were just staring at us mostly. but all the same i think they were just glad to see some mzungus being silly. everyone thinks mom should be my sister b/c she looks so young :) lunch was catered and again we fed hundreds of people. it was hard to control the number of people coming into the event. b/c even after closing the gate there is no way to completely block off other entrances. everyone wanted to come when they saw a tent up b/c it meant free stuff. we gave away shoes towards the end. kids were very happy. but again it was so hard b/c not everyone got them. we probably had around 400ish but there were more kids than that. i think all of this was very hard for mom to see. sometimes i tend to block out some of the things i see. i guess b/c i'm so used to it now. i know this is probably bad, but in a way sometimes i have to separate myself a bit b/c it is so emotionally draining. however, it was good for me to watch mom and catherine experience this for the first time b/c it opened my eyes again too. i think mom is not used to all the dirt yet. she desperately wants to take a shower but it'll have to be more of a sponge bath not in a bathtub. she got to experience having black snot at the end of the day. lovely. it's funny b/c most of this stuff doesn't get to me anymore. i just forget. ruth had someone pull off her necklace and steal it today during all this. and someone broke the window of the cater's van. lots of theft in the past few days.

stolen goods.

i am so dumb. so i just had my phone, atm card, alien card, and about $20 taken from me and i didn't even realize it until almost an hour later. i was coming back from BOLM by myself...everyone else left a bit before me but i was finishing up the paper maching. i think this must have happened on the matatu. these 3 guys got on a bit before town. then they started talking about how policemen were doing seat belt checks. i thought this sounded really sketchy, but i have seen it happen before. so everyone is scrambling around looking for their seat belt and the guy in front of me pretends to be all helpful. of course my belt was squashed between the seat and the vehicle so i'm trying to dig it out. i think during this event they must have reached in my bag and taken everything. there was a lady behind me who had changed seats to find her belt and she didn't seem to think anything was wrong. shortly after this all those guys got off the matatu. peter tells me not to be mad at myself b/c it's the way things often are and not my stupidity. even victor said he's had 4 phones taken now. alex agreed too. in positive news they didn't find my camera or the keys to maria's house and there were no knives involved this time.

yesterday i had the lovely experience of burning my leg from massive hot grease while cooking french toast. it's hard to regulate the little charcoal cooker things and this kid was making french toast at juvenile and it popped all over me. i have massive red marks all my legs but it doesn't hurt, so i guess that's good. seriously what's next.

one really awesome thing was i went to stay at maria's by myself on sunday. it was great having the house to myself. and not having to wake up to the rooster in the morning. i made myself soup, popcorn, sandwich with mayo, and i felt very american.

i'm heading to the airport to pick up mom. tomorrow is tabasamu.

Bowling for Joy

Today Victor and I took some of the kids that he sponsors to go to school on an outing today. He has a ministry called Rafiki Foundation that is still in preliminary stages but basically what it does is helps pay for kids school fees. most of primary (grades 1-8) is free, but there are still small fees. and then in high school you have to pay, so many kids never go to high school. victor has almost 10 kids mostly from kibera that he helps supports. he wanted to do an end of the year party for them, so i suggested we take them bowling. we all had a lot of fun. only one of the guys, sam, had ever bowled. the rest were totally green, so we had to explain how to hold the ball and the object of the game. i bowled one of my best games ever, 143...where did that come from? they play lots of venga boys music (makes me think of you kelsey) and we were all dancing around. one of the girls told me i could really dance...i think they just assume mzungus can't or something :) sam was showing me how to do this kangaroo move and i think everyone in the whole place was staring at me, but whatev. this bowling alley is at village market, probably the most posh place i've been in nairobi. so seeing as all these people lived in kibera, i think it was quite a change of scenery for them. we finished by giving out christmas cards, candy, and ice cream. i laughed a lot today...the joy of the lord is my strength (nehemiah 8:10)

amie came home last night with another live chicken, or at least i thought it was just another chicken. nothing unsual since we had one here for the first 2 months i was around. but i quickly discovered when i heard crowing this morning that it's actually a rooster. let's just say i woke up before 6 a.m. b/c it's right below my window. i told victor and milham that i propose we kill it soon. victor said, "oh no, it'll be around until christmas dinner." oh brother

so praise God...i should have mentioned earlier that i am getting well! i finally figured out about 2 weeks ago after i was still feeling bad that the new anti-malarial medicine i was taking was making me really sick. the doctor gave this handout on some of the side effects...here's what it says...patients "had tingling dizziness, loss of balance, vertigo, motion sickness" "mental disturbances including anxiety, insomnia, nightmares, and unreasonable fears." "one...sustained fractures when he jumped off a cliff to escape an imagined attack." yeah, it's a crazy medicine and basically had me feeling like crap for 2 months. i've been instructed not to take any more malaria medicine. i've spent so much time being sick here, it's crazy...every week it's something. me and Cipro have become good friends. i've heard people talk about spiritual attacks, but i never really could relate to this or understand it until now. but i think this has definitely been a spirtual attack. during matt's time here he was talking about how satan uses your weakness against you...and how his weakness was lack of sleep. i think sickness is one of my biggest weaknesses b/c it makes me grumpy and ineffective at serving. but despite all of that, i'm feeling a lot better. i appreciate all your prayers for my health.

all of those protests yesterday over the media bill and MPs taxes thing seems to have helped. there's a lot of international attention being given to the proposed media bill which is awaiting the president's signature. everyone is opposed to it, so it might not pass. they were showing clips on t.v. of a few years ago when the government burned newspapers and invaded media houses destroying things b/c the stations were reporting government corruption.

i forgot to explain tabasamu. this is a swahili word for smile. it's a big christmas party we're holding on wednesday where we give out shoes and a meal to about 500 kids in kibera. the office was filled with shoes today. our organization is starting to become more well known now after peter got airtime on the christian radio station this week for an interview to talk about tabasamu and get locals to support us.

A Close Call

Popo almost got arrested today...seriously. so there is this huge uprising amongst people here b/c the kenyan members of parliment (like our congress) are refusing to pay taxes. they get paid lots of money. matt told me that government officials in kenya get paid more than anyone in the world. don't know for sure if that's true, but they are definitely way overpaid. so lots of people have been protesting about this. popo wore a shirt today that said something about if MPs (members of parliment) don't pay taxes then other people shouldn't either. someone organized the shirt making and many people wore them (it was independence day here today). on our way back from BOLM popo got a text from Julius saying that the police were arresting people with the shirts on. popo and i got off at Nakumatt (like walmart) before going to kibera. i went to the bathroom there (b/c it's clean and has soap). he was waiting for me and saw a police officer coming. so he slipped in the bathroom and turned his shirt inside out. then he heard the policeman talking to another person asking if they'd seen popo. the person hadn't. the officer left, but as popo and i walked out there was an entire truckload of officers right by the store. we kept walking and he finally told me what was wrong. he said, "feel my heart." it was pounding. i've never seen him scared before. apparently, there isn't much freedom of speech here. people can get arrested for booing the president too. they passed some sort of law this week that is going to limit what the media can say about the government. i feel like things are turning into a dictatorship or communist government or something.

in better news, popo, julius, and i spent the rest of the day christmas shopping for kids. popo wants to go to his rural home (a village farther away) and take presents to the kids there. we went to this market and bought clothes and shoes. most of the stuff is brand new. a few of the shoes are slightly used but they look in really good condition. for most of it they were giving us good deals, even though i'm a mzungu. but towards the end we had to stop b/c we had lots of bags of stuff and they started seeing me and raising the prices a lot. so popo was heading back to do the rest on his own. we also wrapped the rest of the juvenile gifts yesterday. i've never wrapped so many things at once.

we started making pinatas with the BOLM kids today. we were all covered in flour. speaking of flour yesterday we made 80 chapatis with the juvenile boys. it's really great now that alex is back from college b/c he's great at leading the Bible lessons. he's really funny and they all seem to listen.

yesterday in the matatu on the way home the conductor and the passenger beside me were carrying on a conversation overtop of me. they kept trading the conductor's phone back and forth. this was a super nice phone with all these fancy features...nicer than anything i'll ever own. i found myself thinking that it probably was stolen (julius and popo agreed). but the scary part was they kept looking at this picture of a gun. they kept talking about it in swahili. and it wasn't just some random picture. i'm really thinking they were planning to buy it or sell it or something (popo and julius also agreed). it's bad that i automatically jump to all these conclusions and judgements when i don't know people. and it's really not my place to judge. hopefully i'm wrong. peter tells me that in somalia they sell guns right on the streets. awesome, definitely think i'll be visiting soon :)

yes, yes no wonder

i feel like a true american right now b/c i'm starting to feel the time crunch of everything going on. i'm trying to get christmas presents ready for the kids at the juvenile homes. i wanted to have everything wrapped before mom gets here, but things are so slow here. or i can't find things. i wasted an hour today walking around trying to find a place to get wrapping paper in bulk. everyone is crazy at the office here getting things ready for tabasamu. i have a feeling we're going to be wrapping lots of things for that the night before...TIA. and then there's the post office drama. the 2nd package of penpal letters never came and it's probably sitting over there somewhere. people are not very helpful and even when you go to get a letter they send you to about 6 different people to pay and decide how much you'll pay and then write it in various books that you collected it, etc. let's just say it's a super inefficient system but it employs a lot of people. i promised myself this morning that i'm not going to get upset about this. so i'm planning to go there today and try my best but if i can't find the package, then i guess i'll just have to accept that. on top of all this i'm having trouble with extending my visa. peter is having someone work on it b/c that's supposed to be faster. but they've been working on it since september and still nothing. TIA. i will be an illegal immigrant beginning dec. 26, which normally wouldn't be a big deal. but i wanted to go to tanzania with ruth and some other people for new years. if i leave they won't let me back in the country. so i'm heading to the immigration office with peter and other people in a bit to see what we can do. i have a feeling it might not happen. in any case, please pray that this comes before it is time for me to go back home. in spite of all this, i'm trying to focus on the fact that christmas isn't about presents, or traveling, or packages. it's about Jesus and it's so easy for me to get caught up in everything else and forget that.

yes, yes, no wonder...
funny story. popo went on this mission with youth for christ in october. this australian lady was with them and all the kenyans in the group convinced her that popo couldn't speak any english. she kept asking people to translate for him. the kenyans told her that if she asked him a question, he would just respond, yes, yes, no wonder. they split into groups and popo was with her. she said, "can someone be with us so they can translate?" so popo finally had to tell her his english was perfect. but anyway popo told this story to the juvenile kids. he said whenever you see a mzungu just say "yes, yes, no wonder." so now we say this all the time.

i made spaghetti for people in kibera yesterday at nereah's house...sauce from scratch and everything. it was pretty good. i never mentioned that the last time i cooked there this whole family of mice came out from the walls and started eating scraps of food. it kinda freaked me out. oh, and i found a dead mosquito in my bed today with its blood on the sheets. gross right? did i kill it in my sleep or what?

Top 10 List

i was processing more about the experience at BOLM on Friday. it occurred to me that the experience was a lot like camping only not as clean. it had all the elements...i mean we were washing tons of dishes in a big sofria (pan), we were singing camp songs, sleeping in rougher conditions than normal, etc. but let's face it...most of us, no matter how fun the camping experience is, are glad to go back to our comfortable houses and beds and electricity. but for these kids, there is nothing else to go to.

my top ten list for the day...hope it makes you laugh

Top 10 Reasons You Know You're a White Girl Living in Kenya

10. You have been permanently renamed "mzungu."
9. You almost get hit by a bus everyday.
8. You use baby wipes instead of taking showers.
7.Everyone wants to talk to you.
6. Your 3 main food groups are rice, ugali, and chapati (AKA carbs, carbs, and carbs)
5. You forget what an oven is.
4. You use hand sanitizer instead of soap.
3. You only shave from the knees down.
2. You tell people to meet you an hour earlier than when you actually want to meet because you know they'll be late.
1. You get to help needy kids in the name of Jesus, and you love it!

A Night at BOLM

asante sana (thank you very much) for your prayers about the sleepover on friday. it was a smashing success! rodgers and i arrived at 3 and the kids came running outside so excited to see us. we played with the kids for a while, and then at 4:30 the chapati making began. rodgers had the older kids help him. we bought 5 bags of flour but i found out today that it took forever b/c BOLM had also purchased 3 bags of flour. plus they added too much water, so we had to get an additional bag. so that was 9 bags of chapati, which made over 150 chapatis i think. they didn't finish until 9 p.m. i was holding this little boy stanley, and he was so tired. i gave him a piece of chapati to eat and he started chewing but then his head began nodding to the side. i said, "wake up, wake up." it was pretty funny. before this i was helping peel potatoes and it gets dark around 6, so towards the end i couldn't see anymore. at first i only had a few to peel and i thought "easy enough." but then one of the teachers brought this huge bag full which made me say "oh...there's more." while they were making chapati i took the younger kids and had them color stars, make beaded jewelry, and play with playdough. they thought the play dough was ugali and this little 2 year old kept trying to eat it. (alex told me later about a former MST, andrew who fixed everyone kenyan food. he made ugali and then put food coloring in it, so it looked like a giant rainbow cake. ugali is just flour and water made into this big cake looking thing.)

meanwhile, the art activities were winding down, so we moved onto singing songs. the power went out there so we were doing everything in the dark (including the making of dinner). we had 2 little candles burning in this tiny classroom with 30 kids crammed inside. and as we were sitting there singing, an incredible peace came over me. how could you not experience God's joy sitting there in such a simple environment with the most precious children? i taught them the song "pass it on", which is one of my favorite hymns. after about 1 1/2 hours i was running out of songs. we moved onto lion king...hakuna matata (that's swahili) so they thought it was cool learning that. then we started singing i'm gonna be a mighty king. i was doing all these goofy motions and rodgers came in and started mimicking me. the kids thought it was hilarious. alex, steve, elisha, and eric arrived at 9, just in time to eat.

after eating we gathered all the older kids together and did a devotion with them . the younger ones went to sleep and i started nodding off as well. alex was trying to talk to them about esther and waiting upon the lord, but i think they were too exhausted. sleeping turned out to be fine. they gave a bed, and it was more comfortable than the one i normally sleep on. they made sure i had a mosquito net too, even though no one else did. i slept in the same room as all the girls and zipped myself up tight into my sleeping bag. i didn't want to feel anything crawling over me :) the building we slept in is made of tin sheets and has a concrete floor. it started raining right when we went to bed, and as you can imagine, it's quite loud hearing that rain pound on the tin roof. it made me think of that song "rain falls, angry on the tin roof, as we lie awake in our bed." most of these kids sleep with 2 of them in a bed and some of them were sleeping on a very worn out mattress on the floor (i offered to sleep there but they wouldn't let me). all of the mattress are just thin foam and have chunks coming out of them and look really old. i had to go to the bathroom before sleeping...there's no light in the outhouse and it's just a hole in the ground, so that was a bit interesting. these kids have no pajamas and they all slept in their dresses.

saturday we woke up and all the kids immediately started cleaning everything. they are such hard workers. they were even scrubbing off their shoes. we stayed and had tea...rodgers is obsessed with tea and had about 4 cups. today we were celebrating ruth's birthday and eating cake. he said "wow there's a lot of sugar in here...we should have just used it to make tea." everyone thought this was funny. the rest of the day yesterday was devoted to plaiting my hair. lilian (the girl who does my laundry) did it for me. it took 6 hours, and we were exhausted by the end. it hurt really bad this time, especially b/c she had to redo part of it b/c it was falling out. but pain is beauty right? she insisted on feeding me...even though i know she has hardly any money. her neighbor was there and we ate rice with avacado. she gave me half of the avacado, gave 1/4 to her baby and then split the other 1/4 with her friend. just shows how generous people are even though they have nothing. it's like that bible story in luke where the poor woman gives just a few coins as an offering. it occured to me, that probably most days lilian just eats rice and maybe a fruit or vegetable if she has money. i know that all of us would be so bored and tired of rice. sometimes i get tired of eating rice here. but i know that i have so much to be grateful for b/c at least i'm eating it with stew or something, not just plain like many people in kibera are.

A BIG HOLE

i missed telling the other part of my traveling story from tuesday. you see on the way to town, while driving across the median thing (a common occurence) the matatu's back tire fell into this gigantic hole. we're talking the hole tire fell in. how we didn't get a flat is beyond me. but i had to get out with that silly guitar while everyone pushed and then put the guitar back inside. good times.

so i'm pretty excited b/c maria offered to let my mom and i stay at her house over christmas. she's leaving for uganda tomorrow so we will have the whole house to ourselves for about a week. i was a bit reluctant to accept this offer b/c it's i don't even know her that well and i feel a bit wierd about it, but i think it's going to be really nice. this apartment has 4 1/2 baths, a balcony, a community pool, a loft area, etc. it's like a vacation home you would rent. so it should be nice to rest up there and take a shower more than twice a week :)

have you ever tried to make cookies with 30 kids? wow this is a challenge. i did that yesterday with the juvenile kids, interesting. then i went with dottie to the dr. you can see where her wrist was broken b/c the bone is jutting out in a wierd place that it shouldn't be. it's been bothering her for 2 years and she's never been able have surgery. we met with the doctor, and she's going to have the operation on the 16th of december. she also found out the same day that she got the teaching job she wanted. she called me right away when she found out and said i wanted you to know so we can praise God together.

tomorrow is the campout at BOLM. pray for me.

a white chic carrying a guitar

Today has been an absolutely fabulous day and just proves to me that you don't need running water or flushing toilets to make it that way (yeah the water has been off for quite a few days now). this morning began a bit crazy b/c i had to carry the guitar with me. alex (popo's brother, who is back on break from college) insisted that i bring the guitar to BOLM so he could play it for the kids. the guitar case is super heavy and the most awkward thing to get on a matatu. victor, milham, and leon all told me it was too big to carry but i said i was strong (in the Lord and his mighty power that is). so here i was, already drawing attention b/c i'm white and then add a guitar on top of that. but God allowed me to get a seat right by the door of the matatu on the way to town, which helped. then i got off in kibera to go to rodgers' house. he's been begging me to come visit. i panicked a bit at first b/c i got off at the wrong place and wasn't sure where to meet him. i would have been fine except i have this huge guitar and everyone's staring at me. thank goodness for cell phones. we found each other soon enough. i was so grateful for the hospitality at his house. he had made tea for me and chapati too, (this takes a long time and is pretty expensive for people in kibera to make). he said he knew it was my favorite. of course i had already had tea that morning, but i would never tell him that. his house is much nicer than the rest of kibera. it has cement walls. i'm not sure how this is possible since they're not allowed to have permanent structures. but from how he explained it, i think it's b/c this structure was already there and built by someone in the gov't a long time ago or something. i think he was really proud to show me around and have a mzungu in his house.

then we went to BOLM. it was hilarious getting in the matatu this time. i made alex take the guitar. he tried to put it in the front with him but it wouldn't fit, so he hoisted it over the seat to the people behind him. i'm sure they were less than amused but used to it. people are always hauling random things in there like hundreds of egg crates stacked on top of each other, hundred pound bags of potatoes, etc. the kids loved singing to the guitar and we were all dancing around swinging our partner, etc. good times. we talked with them about God's faithfulness. i took the younger kids and we made a handprint rainbow (thanks for this idea mom) on a white piece of fabric. they all giggled getting the paint on their hands. we had the older kids make guacamole. they never ever eat chips, so this was quite a treat. we're planning to go back there on friday and spend the night. i'm so excited about this. i've been wanting to do this for weeks, but have been waiting to feel better. i think my body is beginning to heal. i've felt better today than i have in a long while. i would really appreciate your prayers about staying there on friday. we're planning to make chapati with them (they usually only have this on christmas b/c it's more expensive) and bring music to dance to, maybe paint nails, etc. eunice, one of the teachers, is going to keep it a surprise from them until friday. they will be ecstatic b/c they've been wanting us to stay. so pray that friday goes well, that i'm feeling well, and that nothing crawls over me while i'm sleeping :) the conditions are better than kibera but still rough. i was realizing that all the other volunteers who are staying live in kibera and i don't, so i'm probably the only one who'll be out of my comfort zone. by the way, about animals, peter asked me if i liked geckos (sp?). he said he saw one crawling on the ceiling in his bedroom. i haven't seen one yet. hope it stays that way :)

after BOLM i went to nerea's in kibera to make chapati. they were impressed by how much i already knew how to do ( i was surprised i remembered). her neighbors and nephew came too. the nephew is named dennis and his friend is samuel. they are about my age. they were asking me all sorts of questions about the u.s. and were so intrigued to watch a mzungu make chapati. they were very curious as to why i came to africa and had never eaten with a mzungu before. dennis joked that today was like a holiday b/c he was eating with a white person. after we finished eating he asked me if i was saved. i said yes, and it turned into a wonderful conversation about becoming a christian. he is not a christian and neither is samuel but seems very interested in learning more. we talked a lot about how it's not works or doing good things that get you to heaven but believing that jesus paid the price of our sins. it's funny b/c he knows so much about the bible from CRE but doesn't know jesus. he wants to talk more but was a bit reserved about asking anymore questions today. so i'm planning to bring popo or victor back with me next week, cook with them, and let them ask away. i want a local person with me b/c of a slight language barrier. and also b/c i think they will be able to help me out with questions that i'm not able to answer. after all i'm not a biblical scholar and 2 brains are better than one. please pray for the conversations we have with them that God will speak through us. these people are hungry for christ b/c they struggle so much in life and i want so much for them to experience this hope and joy.

i had another great conversation with a random man while stuck in the jam on the way home. yes they just say "jam" not traffic or traffic jam. we talked about what i was doing and his time traveling abroad. i'm learning that long bus rides really can be a blessing. it's all about perspective. keep that in mind today and be blessed!

Count your blessings

there are days and moments where i wonder if i can take anymore. i spent hours waiting around for people and events to start on saturday. my body hurt. i kept thinking about how i could be in bed sleeping. then i take in the situation (knowing that kids are glad i'm there), take a look around, and realize that i have no reason to be complaining. how can i be upset when i'm so blessed? God has provided so much for me and i often fail to acknowledge it. dottie really put it in perspective for me today when she was talking about how she enjoys cooking but so many times she can't make the things she wants b/c they're too expensive. she was explaining how it the price of tomatoes had risen to 5 shillings. that's less than 10 cents! that really broke my heart. i took her, emma, and their friend, Peter to eat ethiopian food. (by the way, please we need to find an ethopian food in cincinnati b/c it is so amazing.) we walked past a vendor selling all sorts of odds and ends, one of them being a laundry basket. she started talking about how she really wants one of these and keeps telling herself that she will save up and buy one. i've never heard anyone talk about wanting a laundry basket. she was telling me about how she got fired from her job teaching b/c she was very vocal about some of the problems with the school. i think she was hardly being paid anyway, and i'm sure whatever she was speaking about was probably something that needed to be voiced. but she has interviewed for another job which would start when the new term begins in january and this sounds promising. she was telling me about how it could interfere with having surgery on her wrist. she broke her wrist some time ago and it hasn't healed correctly, so she needs to have surgery. but she hasn't been able to have surgery b/c she has no money. the way she told me about this though, she didn't ask for me to help her. she trys not to be reliant on mzungus. but i'm going to use some of the money you all have donated to help her have this done. like everything else, it's pretty inexpensive by american standards.

emma and i had a good discussion on the way to meet here about empowering people. she was so encouraging saying that the kids in kibera really admire mzungus b/c they are willing to just sit, talk, and listen to them. i was saying that i get discouraged sometimes b/c i wonder if anything i'm doing is really helping. mostly i'm learning that i am completely powerless to make any sort of change. it is only God's power that will make any difference in the long run. emma said that even if it's just small seeds that God is using me to plant, that kids will remember. we were talking about how most kids have lots of knowledge about the bible (better than in america) here b/c they have Christian religious education (CRE) in school. but when it comes to applying it, it's an entirely different story. often when i ask them questions about how something applies to their life, no one can answer.

i made christmas cards with the juvenile kids today. they don't know how to address an envelope, which i quickly learned. they have the hardest time sharing supplies, and that's a constant struggle. but they really loved doing this. i told them i would mail them to anyone in kenya, friends, family. many of them wanted them sent to their pen pals in america. emma and dottie were telling me how important it is that we try to keep the penpals thing going after i leave b/c this is a big deal to these kids. i really need to work on finding someone local to help me with this. i certainly don't want all these projects to simply fall apart.