it's new years eve, a time to look back at how the year has changed us and made us grow. a look at our struggles, triumphs, and blessings. i know that the past 6 months has forever altered the ways that i view poverty, money, friendships, and my faith. i came here hoping to change people's lives in just small ways by bringing them hope, but ultimately i think it is me who has been changed and blessed the most. i guess that's what happens when you serve others--you are richly blessed. part of me wonders still what have i done here, and i'm sure you will all beg to differ. i have not been able to have people arrive on time, nor have i gotten schools to stop beating kids (one boy at the juvenile had his wrist wrapped up 2 weeks ago from where he had been caned), and i certainly haven't even made a dent in the poverty situation around me. sometimes i continue wondering if people only want to talk to me b/c they think i'm rich (a security guard at the hilton yesterday asked why i wasn't staying there. i told him i'm just a volunteer and the hilton was expensive. he said that all volunteers have money). but i pray and hope that maybe God has used me to make just a few children smile and know that He loves them.
i'm not really into making new year's resolutions...they tend to end up broken anyway. but i hope from this experience that i have learned and will continue to try to enjoy simple things in life. i experienced a christmas without many presents, and in most ways (except for being away from family) it was better. i hope that when i get home i'm better at just sitting and listening to people, as i've done often here. i hope that i remember the 2 months of sickness when i often woke in the middle of the night and prayed fervently to God for healing. i hope i remember the mice crawling in the houses of kibera, and the lack of running water in our house. i hope that i remember how often i ate rice, and how loud the matatus are. b/c by remembering these things, i will appreciate things in america more and complain less. i hope i remember how much you all have been curious about things here, eager to know more, and praying for me often. for it is your love and support that have helped me over some of the humps. i remembering talking to people last new years about coming to africa and now a year later i'm here.
so that was a bit deep, on a light hearted note, i've spent some time today pondering where the blue raspberry flavor came from. thanks so much tara for the jolly ranchers that have inspired these thoughts (we've all been eating them while playing spoons). but seriously, blue raspberries do not exist, or do they in willy wonka world or something? why couldn't the flavor just be blueberry? amie and peter thought it was a miracle i've stayed in the house today. i'm trying to force myself to rest...always a struggle for me.
forgot to mention that i took mom on a wonderful farewell ride home in a very loud matatu. somehow before this she had avoided the ones with the video screens and loud rap music with explicit lyrics. she said the bass was so loud she could feel her heart pounding. her head was touching the ceiling too. did i mention that all the rap videos have people wearing cincinnati reds hats?
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